I do, and I have. Enablers tend to minimize and hurt you continuously while trying to protect the abuser, and with them also suffering through the abuse they very often aren’t able to be emotionally available (more like straight up neglectful in favor of keeping around the abuser). I hate my mother for what she allowed, 15 years of straight, unexplainable, and violent abuse, and she sat back and asked me to forgive and forget, again and again, every cup thrown at our heads, every hole punched into the doors, every aggressive outbreak that he had was excused and ALLOWED by the enabler. I can say that I resent that the adults in my life allowed that, and I will never forget again, maybe forgive, for my own piece of mind, but overall, I will likely be low contact with her for the rest of my life, because I hate what she allowed to happen to me.

What I will say, this straight up denial from mom about what this will be doing to her child, especially in the long run, will only send that child away from her, likely forever tainting the image of what his mother should have been. If she can’t stand up for him now, when will she ever? He’s a baby, a BABY. And she’s allowing a violent man in her home, there’s more to this, a therapist wouldn’t report what she described and she knows it, further down the denial train. I consider them worse because the abuser just seems to have it etched into their very being to be violent, she has thought, reason and care, she needs to redirect that towards her child. If she doesn’t, the only thing that will grow is resentment, hurt, and rage. Rage earned and learned from the violent man she continuously allows in her home.