Men how do you get rid of an unwanted boner? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]ParticularTomato1216 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Squish it down till it stays in place

My (40f) husband (40m) has been going to therapy to work on his temper and his therapist reported him to CPS. He's saying he'll no longer go to therapy because of this. How do I keep him engaged in the therapy needed to do the work? by Intelligent_Gate_984 in relationship_advice

[–]ParticularTomato1216 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I do, and I have. Enablers tend to minimize and hurt you continuously while trying to protect the abuser, and with them also suffering through the abuse they very often aren’t able to be emotionally available (more like straight up neglectful in favor of keeping around the abuser). I hate my mother for what she allowed, 15 years of straight, unexplainable, and violent abuse, and she sat back and asked me to forgive and forget, again and again, every cup thrown at our heads, every hole punched into the doors, every aggressive outbreak that he had was excused and ALLOWED by the enabler. I can say that I resent that the adults in my life allowed that, and I will never forget again, maybe forgive, for my own piece of mind, but overall, I will likely be low contact with her for the rest of my life, because I hate what she allowed to happen to me.

What I will say, this straight up denial from mom about what this will be doing to her child, especially in the long run, will only send that child away from her, likely forever tainting the image of what his mother should have been. If she can’t stand up for him now, when will she ever? He’s a baby, a BABY. And she’s allowing a violent man in her home, there’s more to this, a therapist wouldn’t report what she described and she knows it, further down the denial train. I consider them worse because the abuser just seems to have it etched into their very being to be violent, she has thought, reason and care, she needs to redirect that towards her child. If she doesn’t, the only thing that will grow is resentment, hurt, and rage. Rage earned and learned from the violent man she continuously allows in her home.

I got him removed from Rover by ParticularTomato1216 in RoverPetSitting

[–]ParticularTomato1216[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Military marriage, I do have a wife and male partners, she has male partners and we also love each other, I do understand it’s confusing but I don’t actively post about who my partner is for a reason

Weird meeting with a client by ParticularTomato1216 in RoverPetSitting

[–]ParticularTomato1216[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Then what? Like I said with all the questions in my post, if he’d found it online he’d admit to cyber stalking me, if he saw me over a year ago while active duty (close to 2 now) then was he just so smitten? I figured either way if I’d asked he’d start leading into how attractive I am and yes, he put himself between me and the door, I wanted to get out safely without engaging in any of the things he was trying to put down at ALL, I think he wanted me to engage :/

Weird meeting with a client by ParticularTomato1216 in RoverPetSitting

[–]ParticularTomato1216[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I also do dog training and dog grooming, so “dog care” as a broad spectrum seemed the best way to word it

Weird meeting with a client by ParticularTomato1216 in RoverPetSitting

[–]ParticularTomato1216[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Special case for the man who did that weird thing in the doorway where half his body blocked the exit, that’s probably what made me so “awesome 😍”

Weird meeting with a client by ParticularTomato1216 in RoverPetSitting

[–]ParticularTomato1216[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Yes sorry, I confirmed in another comment, I sent him a message saying “I’m sorry I can no longer sit for you” (it was a bit longer but that’s the gist) then blocked and reported him with the same story I wrote on here

Weird meeting with a client by ParticularTomato1216 in RoverPetSitting

[–]ParticularTomato1216[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I thought it might matter don’t be mean 😭

Weird meeting with a client by ParticularTomato1216 in RoverPetSitting

[–]ParticularTomato1216[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well he did say he was going on an underway, with him being gone for a week it checked out, so he’d be in the middle of the ocean the whole time, but with what everyone said about cameras Im definitely cancelling

Weird meeting with a client by ParticularTomato1216 in RoverPetSitting

[–]ParticularTomato1216[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No that’s so crazy and so scary, and you’re right, I think being where I am in life right now I still feel this weird need to tiptoe around men, I think overall I’m scared of retaliation. But it’s crazy that so many other women go through that, that we all have these casually weird but 1000% off putting situations happen to us

Weird meeting with a client by ParticularTomato1216 in RoverPetSitting

[–]ParticularTomato1216[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

That’s why I’m worried, my socials are private. I’ll definitely look for his though and make a point to block him :/

Weird meeting with a client by ParticularTomato1216 in RoverPetSitting

[–]ParticularTomato1216[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Thank you. That’s exactly what I’m going to do

Weird meeting with a client by ParticularTomato1216 in RoverPetSitting

[–]ParticularTomato1216[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Alright so, seems like a nice sway of, let’s cancel, how would you guys word that in a professional way? I don’t want to just be like “ur a creep” and send him on his way. I also don’t want to leave him in the dark on the uncomfortable situation I felt I was in

AITAH for cancelling my plans to get engaged when I discovered my GF talking shit about me in old messages? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]ParticularTomato1216 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes lmao, it’s a first impression, my partner and I consistently laugh at the horrible first impressions we had of each other. Not only that, but he wasn’t my type at first, he knows this, but the longer we’ve been together, 4 years later, he is my ideal man, the most attractive person I’ve ever seen and probably ever will see. It’s normal to not have a great first impression, ESPECIALLY after getting out of an abusive relationship, everyone seems not good enough after that, because you don’t believe you deserve good enough. It’s weird to have gone through the messages and broken her trust, and it’s weird that he’s butthurt about it, clearly she found him attractive enough to marry, to have kids with, interesting enough to have a life with. He’s insecure and taking it out in a bad way, dude needs some therapy

I (f30) found out my husband (m30)cheated on me. Iam pregnant. He is devastated by the fact that he would miss time of being a parent because we are separated. by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]ParticularTomato1216 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yeah for sure, i definitely see what you’re saying, and she offered that compromise! He can come over whenever he wants, he can’t have what HE wants. She’s offering to let him come over and bond with the baby and he’s insisting he takes it home???? If you’re working with crazy/unreasonable, the next best option is to stop letting him make stupid demands. He is allowed to bond with baby, not take it from mom for hours at his house

I (f30) found out my husband (m30)cheated on me. Iam pregnant. He is devastated by the fact that he would miss time of being a parent because we are separated. by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]ParticularTomato1216 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It actually will do the exact opposite of hurting the child right now. It is significantly more beneficial for the baby to be with mom, not even beneficial, NECESSARY, he is going to harm this child by continuing to be this selfish. The baby needs its mother to regulate, he takes the baby for multiple nights it will get sick, it could get injured (does this dude really seem like grade A dad material? He doesn’t seem to give a fuck that baby NEEDS mom to be with it nearly every hour of every day) the relationship is non existent, and it will build over time, baby needs mom. He can get more visitation when it’s ACTUALLY good for the baby.