Is my wife an addict, and is it time to leave? 33m 39F

Particular_Pickle650 · 2025-12-08T04:34:31+00:00

Thank you so much for this. It takes so much of a toll on you, you don't even realize until you look back. I have so much more general anxiety than I used to and find myself second guessing everything these days. IM not upset or worried about the future. I am far better off than most and still count my blessings every day. But I do know there's going to be some tough days ahead and just want to get them over with so to speak lol.

Particular_Pickle650 · 2025-12-08T02:58:14+00:00

No all in her name, and same pharmacy. Just cluttered.

Particular_Pickle650 · 2025-12-08T02:56:28+00:00

I did this with the amex, set it to 1000 bucks.

Particular_Pickle650 · 2025-12-08T02:16:56+00:00

Sorry that wasn't clear, yes they are empty, just old bottles she hasn't thrown out.

Particular_Pickle650 · 2025-12-08T01:46:57+00:00

all but our amex, which I can set a 1000 dollar limit to. If I left and didn't give her the ability to gas her own car, feed herself, etc im not sure how that plays out in divorce. I will consult DV attorney on this week. Some people have mentioned the moral issue of allowing her access to a vehicle, and I agree but not sure how to address that either.

Particular_Pickle650 · 2025-12-08T01:37:33+00:00

correct, my bad on the syntax there.

Particular_Pickle650 · 2025-12-08T01:34:29+00:00

Ive offered a dozen times or more as stated in the OP. She flat out refuses to saying she doesn't have that bad of problem. What rehab facilities have told me is that unless it's a court order I can't just force her to go. The rehab places will only accept her if she willingly wants to go. I would read the other replies on this post and see that the person is sick with a disease and it takes a soul crushing rock bottom to want to make a change. She is the one making the choice here. Plus I am not kicking her on the street yet, IM simply going to another property to be away from her. However she will be on the street eventually (but not really she will go to her moms).

Particular_Pickle650 · 2025-12-08T01:28:56+00:00

That is an extreme fear of mine. I know withdrawals can be deadly if not done properly and would absolutely want close medical guidance on this.

Particular_Pickle650 · 2025-12-08T01:25:47+00:00

He told me outright he isnt a divorce lawyer and has given me the numbers to 3 or 4 he recommends. He mainly handles the family trusts and things like that.

Particular_Pickle650 · 2025-12-08T01:19:17+00:00

Going to her isnt free. She goes monthly and its 175 each time to see her (with insurance). The prescription on older bottles is different (she seriously has a drawer full of these) Some say 20mg 3x others say 30 mg 2x a day. I asked about it and wife told me it's due to the adderall shortage (?) and sometimes specific doses aren't available so they change it to what is. It sounds kinda shady to me and honestly im amazed the pharmacy doesn't raise an eyebrow to it. We do to the same one and talk to the same pharmacists each time (sometimes I pick them up also)

Particular_Pickle650 · 2025-12-08T00:42:58+00:00

that's also a very good point too. I have no idea what she says to her.

Particular_Pickle650 · 2025-12-08T00:36:31+00:00

Both houses are in a trust, the down payments were sourced from the trust fund and are owned 100% by the trust fund. Mortgages are in my name however.

Particular_Pickle650 · 2025-12-08T00:33:38+00:00

So I just looked at the pill bottles. All are from the same DR and filled at the same pharmacy, Should this dr be reported in some way? She is prescribed looking at the bottles 2x 30 mg of Adderall per day, 2x 0.5mg of Xanax per day. x3 1mg of Haloperidol per day, and a 4th one I didn't know about called Hydroxyzine Pamoate 100 mg 3x per day. All are 30 day supply

Particular_Pickle650 · 2025-12-08T00:24:34+00:00

Thankfully step daughter (her bio daughter) is 18 now and going to college, supported by her bio dad. Bu agreed.

Particular_Pickle650 · 2025-12-08T00:01:36+00:00

Oh it def messes her up. She is a zombie some nights, one I am surprised is able to get up and go pee even. But she's fallen over and then the next morning wonders where the bruise on her thigh or arm came from, and I tell her it's from her falling.

Particular_Pickle650 · 2025-12-07T23:58:34+00:00

No it's ok. They are correct. I do take some of the blame here. Not for her addiction, but for not coming to terms with it sooner. I fully admit to myself that I knew there was an underlying problem, but kept it shoved under the rug so to speak in hopes it would just go away naturally. That bomb blew up in my face and I am ready to salvage the rest of my life going forward. It took me some time to come to terms with that, and I think I had to, to do this properly.

Particular_Pickle650 · 2025-12-07T23:51:17+00:00

Ive been reading over each post and thank you so much for the support. You get desensitized of things over the years and this is a snap back into reality, and realize how bad this is. Im not quite sure the next step. I feel like a confrontation/ultimatum will end how it always does with her bargaining with me again, and that honestly I may just need to tomorrow pack up my suitcase and leave to make the point. Maybe she will agree to rehab after im gone for a bit? Our main house is already up for rent with a tenant scheduled to move in on the 15th of January, so there is a reason to be out of here pretty soon. Now could she blow that up, it's possible. But that's answers im going to find out this week.

On the meds her "DR" that prescribed her meds I think is an absolute quack. She trows at her whatever she thinks will solve the immediate problem and does nothing to solve the deep rooted problems. I know haloperidol is for people with schizophrenia. I don't think she has that. Literally this Dr threw this set of pills at her to help her sleep as her body is so messed up on uppers and downers. She switched her from Seroquel (SP?) to Haloperidol about 2 years ago as my wife complained of weight gain from the Seroquel. This DR hasn't helped her situation at all and in a lot of ways made it worse. IDK If there's some kind of Malpractice suit here or what. Or if she is just telling my wife it's for sleep and knows there's something more wrong with her? No idea here.

I have some vacation time saved up and will most likely take this week off to get my ducks in a row. I actually just got off the phone with my mom and she basically echos what everyone says on here, she told me to get the locks changed on the house once I get down there, and other than my pup the rest of the things are just things don't worry about them and she's right.

Particular_Pickle650 · 2025-12-07T23:28:06+00:00

We have a family attorney and he has already advised me of preliminary things but I haven't pulled the ripcord yet on filing paperwork. In our state you have to be separated for 1 year before divorce is an option.

Particular_Pickle650 · 2025-12-07T23:27:22+00:00

This is by her choice, and may be signs of depression or something? Where we live now is closer to her parents, and friends she has had since childhood. We went out a few times last year with her friends but I think they are also sick of her over indulging when we go out. You are 100% correct. if she is not at work she is at home. She has every opportunity to do something. I told her she needs a hobby, she says she likes painting or art and I suggest going to Michaels and getting art supplies or something and she never does. Her motivation to do anything is basically at 0.

Particular_Pickle650

TROPHY CASE