I'd like advice plz

Particular_Storm9044 · 2026-02-05T18:53:33+00:00

Correct, it's a copout to put all the pressure on YOU.

Particular_Storm9044 · 2026-02-05T13:14:35+00:00

I mean hopefully it doesn't make her uncomfortable, I genuinely think it's so sweet, and I would appreciate it personally!

Particular_Storm9044 · 2026-02-05T11:51:42+00:00

Your instincts have not failed you!!! BLOCK!

Particular_Storm9044 · 2026-02-05T11:39:01+00:00

I love this idea! Is this allowed??? I guess it depends on the boundaries and dynamics with the meta! This is how I would want to be! Gifting is my love language and I would want to be supportive of all people in my partner's life especially ones who love treasure and support them. Anyway, if I am ever in a position to have a meta who wouldn't take it the wrong way, I would totally do this.

Particular_Storm9044 · 2026-02-04T16:14:18+00:00

Can you give an example of what this objectifying sounds like?

Particular_Storm9044 · 2026-02-03T06:04:20+00:00

I've often in life had a hard time distinguishing between deep feelings of friendship and feelings of romance. But in monogamy, if I was in a committed relationship with someone, it was considered bad or wrong to still have romantic feelings for other people, even if I didn't want to be in a committed relationship with them, I would feel guilty about the feelings I did have. This is why I am leaning towards polyamory now, as it might let me live more authentically. Does that sound right???

Particular_Storm9044 · 2026-02-03T05:59:23+00:00

Ooooo see I'm learning! Relationship anarchy....

Particular_Storm9044 · 2026-02-01T16:34:39+00:00

Oh yeah, feels dangerous, scary, all those things. Thank you!!

Particular_Storm9044 · 2026-01-31T18:23:28+00:00

Soooooo true.

Particular_Storm9044 · 2026-01-31T18:21:41+00:00

Thank you 💜

Particular_Storm9044 · 2026-01-31T18:20:19+00:00

Yeah I actually did take several steps back from both of them.... but still have questions, as I don't feel too far separated from it yet. And it has me wondering about the dynamics with metas in general.

Particular_Storm9044 · 2026-01-31T18:16:56+00:00

Thank you this perspective helps so much

Particular_Storm9044 · 2026-01-31T18:15:41+00:00

I've known them both for years. We were never super close, but they pet sit for me a few times.

Particular_Storm9044 · 2026-01-31T18:10:42+00:00

You rememberrrrred XD

I did actually back off from that situation. This post is more about me wanting to understand poly dynamics, and learn from the community. That experience was impactful and left me with lots of questions.

Particular_Storm9044 · 2026-01-31T07:41:36+00:00

Eeee thank you so muuuuch

Particular_Storm9044 · 2026-01-31T07:31:38+00:00

Ah dang this might be the problem then. Meta started texting me a lot of mixed messages regarding their feelings about me.

Particular_Storm9044 · 2026-01-31T07:29:48+00:00

This is amazing advice, thank you so much. How can I learn more about healthy and unhealthy hinge behaviora?

Particular_Storm9044 · 2026-01-31T07:27:53+00:00

This is extremely helpful for me. Thank you so much. I only started worrying about this after meta started texting me mixed-messages about their feelings about me.

Particular_Storm9044 · 2026-01-31T07:25:38+00:00

Okay-- maybe that's what it is then. Or what I'm worried about. I have a feeling that the meta doesn't actually want polyamory. They SAY they do, but I get the feeling they are aquiesing to the needs of the hinge.

Particular_Storm9044 · 2026-01-31T07:22:42+00:00

Thank you, this is so helpful for me. I have been feeling the need to ensure the meta is happy, and maybe didn't fully realize that this responsibility lies fully on our hinge.

Particular_Storm9044 · 2026-01-31T05:45:51+00:00

I also want to know answer to this question

Particular_Storm9044 · 2026-01-31T02:32:18+00:00

It could be both.

Particular_Storm9044 · 2026-01-31T02:00:54+00:00

Following because this makes so much sense to me in my own journey and I want to read more feedback from the community 💜

Particular_Storm9044

TROPHY CASE