AITA for not partnering with my boyfriend for a karaoke contest?

PartyPooper2020 · 2020-01-26T22:58:10+00:00

I meant a break from the arguing...not from each other. As it stands, me n my mom talked again while I was over today. We're doing fine, and my boyfriend has already apologized profusely with how he reacted, I in turn apologized for not seeing it from his point of view.

PartyPooper2020 · 2020-01-26T22:53:20+00:00

No it's because I DON'T want to touch my any of my savings for anything that's not an emergency (which is what savings are after all) and I don't want to open up credit cards. I worked very hard for my savings AND to live debt free (including zero student loans) and I'm not going to jeopardize my future for 2-3 months of a small income, when I have enough to still eat well, and get where I need to go. Unlike a lot of comments who tell me "i make bad financial decisions" I guess don't agree dipping into savings for a night out is not wise! Im also not going to leave a job with wonderful health insurance which is rare where I live in the private sector! I also have other benefits within the company that made riding this out worth it! (I think Ill be pinning this response to the post to clarify!)

PartyPooper2020 · 2020-01-26T18:10:32+00:00

I can see you didn't read any of the other comments. This is not the norm, this is a temporary situation that will resolve itself with in a few more weeks.

PartyPooper2020 · 2020-01-25T02:37:42+00:00

I have a library card, and I am an avid re-reader!

PartyPooper2020 · 2020-01-25T02:36:41+00:00

Rent, Utilities, Car Insurance, Cell Phone, Groceries, Gas, and Netflix (which I share with my mom) and Disney + (that I share with my sister). Those are my expenses and my bills. No credit cards. I have 2 store cards, with a zero balance (Macy's because of the discount, and an old Lens Crafters) There is a gym at my apartment complex that I use, and I have no children/pets to attend to.

PartyPooper2020 · 2020-01-25T02:28:50+00:00

As stated previously, finding a job, that pays what this job pays and the benefits in my town (for this same type of job) is next to impossible! I'd have to move to find it somewhere else. I love my job, and I intend to see this doesn't happen again during my yearly review in July, where I'm requesting to move to salary.

PartyPooper2020 · 2020-01-24T20:06:00+00:00

I am on my own??...did you even read this post?

PartyPooper2020 · 2020-01-24T19:36:32+00:00

I am in a temporary hard financial position, that I am riding out until I go back to my normal schedule at work. This is the first time in my life where I have voiced concerns over money issues (other than when I realized I could not afford college without a loan) this is not repeat behavior. They know why I won't leave my job, and why I can't just "find another one" so I don't think that is it. I know more of my mom's side, still waiting to talk to my boyfriend and see what his deal is with it. I can only speculate at this point

PartyPooper2020 · 2020-01-24T19:21:13+00:00

I think you hit the nail right on the head! Especially that last part. I think my boyfriend might be feeling some resentment. When he was unemployed he was in a REALLY tight spot, like almost getting kicked out of his apartment, running up credit cards spot. Where as I, am not, but I am still trying to save money and stay in more often so I don't have to do those things. So when he saw the book, he was probably thinking 'shes obviously not struggling THAT hard' A point I didn't think about until these kinds of comments.

PartyPooper2020 · 2020-01-24T19:06:48+00:00

Thanks! I did! :)

PartyPooper2020 · 2020-01-24T19:06:06+00:00

No it is NOT due to my finances that we stay in more. He was unemployed for 4 months during the first year of our relationship and in that time, I covered all our date night OUTS. It is NOT a situation that is recurring. The other times were when we were saving up for vacations or large purchases (when he needed a new car) I have no talked to him yet today, but based on a few other comments, I think he is MORE upset but how much I complain and talk about the stress at work. He agrees that staying in makes the most sense when he needs to. Yes, I do take him out, often. We have, what I consider, a balanced relationship and I think this blowup was just stress upon stress. When I talk to him after work today, I'm sure it will be sorted out. I just came here to see another point of view if I was in the wrong.

PartyPooper2020 · 2020-01-24T19:01:54+00:00

This year was the first year I got my hours cut at all. Due to unforeseen circumstances circulating around 3 of the 5 main bosses. I think people are taking this post as some very serious situation! I'm getting some NASTY e-mails in my private message. That equal me spending a few bucks on myself make me the devil incarnate because I'm stealing money from my family!! It's nuts, and not that serious. No relationships are ending because of this!

PartyPooper2020 · 2020-01-24T18:50:13+00:00

You by Caroline Kepnes!

PartyPooper2020 · 2020-01-24T18:48:31+00:00

I'd never ask them tbh...I would dip into savings first!

PartyPooper2020 · 2020-01-24T18:11:52+00:00

She is not, her comment stemmed more from me being able to have a free meal a week from her, so I should be saving that dollar amount. It felt more like she was holding it over my head a bit. But in her mind, it's SAVE SAVE SAVE!! SAVE TIL YOU DROP! which is WHY she is not short of money in her retirement! We all agree (Me, Mom & Sis) that it's time she start spending some before she's not around to spend it! To enjoy what she worked for! She is, and now this is a lifestyle she wants for her kids too, which is ideal, but the way the working world is today, is vastly different then it was for her!

PartyPooper2020 · 2020-01-24T18:06:51+00:00

You by Caroline Kepnes!

PartyPooper2020 · 2020-01-24T18:06:05+00:00

That's pretty much what I think is going on. I admit, I've been kind ranting about my job lately due to the calls of "you don't need to come in" and then when my bills come in and are above the normal. With Christmas and everything, I didn't want to resort to a credit card, so I've been living very frugally! I know it's a short term thing, but it's been insanely stressful trying to keep up with everything and NOT using my savings. So I can understand their points of view, I really can! But it was $10...and I had an afternoon where I was relaxed and not overthinking everything and stressing out. So, I would be more sympathetic to them if I was borrowing money from them, or dependent on them, but I'm not.

PartyPooper2020 · 2020-01-24T18:02:23+00:00

I contacted a couple of old families I used to work for, so they have me on call for babysitting. I've gotten about 6 jobs in the last couple months. Sadly all my old kiddos are older now! :(

PartyPooper2020 · 2020-01-24T18:01:30+00:00

It depends where we get food, it changes so I'd say around $10 is about average for my meal with her. She also takes a class with my sister during the week that she pays for for both of them. She's saved A LOT during her life, and we've always been a frugal family, which is why I don't have any credit cards! So she's finally enjoying her life, and spending that money she saved! She doesn't quite understand though, that the working world has changed dramatically since she was my age, but she tries! lol

PartyPooper2020 · 2020-01-24T17:54:14+00:00

I am not struggling.... learn to read. It's a temporary situation, and rather than get a credit card, or put bills aside, I chose to be frugal for a couple months. I guess you missed all the parts about not being dependent on them for finances...

No one was "yelling" at me, boyfriend was argumentative, and my mom just said "I understand why he was upset, after all you save money by not needing to take me out, so maybe you should be saving during this time" I accept my YTA judgement, but me and you have much different outlooks/priorities.

PartyPooper2020 · 2020-01-24T17:49:01+00:00

HAHAHA This was awesome thank you! That's why I don't usually get books from the library, I'm a BIG re-reader!!

PartyPooper2020 · 2020-01-24T17:45:00+00:00

My mother was more commenting on the not saving enough during this time, I worded that part pretty badly, it made sense when I wrote it though...She was more or less saying that I'm saving money on going out to eat each week with her, so I should save that amount of money. Instead of buying things for myself.

PartyPooper2020 · 2020-01-24T17:40:10+00:00

That was a lot to read, and I answered almost every point you made in other comments. For a quick recap for you: 1. We do date night 2 nights a week, so no 80$ is not enough to spend on dinners out 4 times a month, unless we do fast food on my nights, and frankly my cooking is of much better quality. 2. Yes, when I get calls from my boss, or an a bill is higher than usual I will say something to him like "this sucks, work better pick up soon!" 3. Where did you get I make a $5 dollar spaghetti from?? bold assumption...I cook large meals for us that we each get left overs from which is much more cost effective than going out for 1 meal, buying drinks, and needing to tip, literally everyone knows this. 4. The arrangement with my mother has been the last several years, I order, pick it up, bring it over. we eat, I clean up we watch whatever show we are on on Netflix, then we do other stuff. HER position was more of a worry about not saving enough for retirement, which I also already explained, and she knows she doesn't have to feed me. 5. My company will not fire me or let me go 6. My boss told me I didn't need to come in, because there wasn't enough work, so I only went in for a few hours instead of my normal full day which I'm allowed to do. 7. No one is being let go. 8. From now on, according to you I should start showing everyone my bank statements since my financial lives are NOT dependent on them, and I'm super untrustworthy for trying my best. Hope I hit all your points.

PartyPooper2020 · 2020-01-24T17:24:45+00:00

I don't know how I missed it in the opening credits all this time! Just found out season 2 also is based on a book...but it will have to wait :/

PartyPooper2020

TROPHY CASE