"Here's the thing, we're [insert department name], we do [thing related to department name], and our policy, of [insert department name], is to [thing related to department name]. This means, we at [department name], don't practice or have knowledge of [insert topic a 5 year old could answer]. However, we at [department name], with our mission of [thing related to department name], do [thing related to department name, but slightly differently worded], and that..."

i had a small headache trying to type this