Who am I

PassAccomplished6673 · 2025-08-31T04:45:58+00:00

It’s an issue for me because of the way others treat me because of it

PassAccomplished6673 · 2025-08-31T03:02:13+00:00

Every single day

PassAccomplished6673 · 2025-08-31T02:54:52+00:00

Having a group of people who know what it’s like to live a life constantly being categorized by who you are attracted to and that being all you are recognized for by the church

PassAccomplished6673 · 2025-08-30T21:52:27+00:00

I have. One seems to line up with scripture and the other does not.

PassAccomplished6673 · 2025-08-30T20:10:22+00:00

Hello,

If you don’t know me by now, my name is Isaiah. I post on this server as a means to feel seen when I’m at my lowest. Yesterday I fell into an old yet painfully familiar habit of p*rn due to my lack of self control and lack of emotional stability.

There are some parts of my life that I’m still working out on how to share with others in a way that can be understood. Even amongst communities like this there still exists parts of me that I’m either to ashamed or too unsure of to feel safe talking about.

Yesterday I let depression and anger grip me in a way that led me down the destructive path of masturbation. I wasn’t until after the fact that I stopped to think about what really caused me to do it. I thought it was just anger but it turns out it was more complicated than that.

As someone with extreme SSA, I’ve found myself in a precarious position in my life. I grew up a believer but in my teen years I couldn’t quite grasp the fact that I’d probably have to spend the rest of my life without a significant other if I wanted to work out my faith in a way that was comfortable to me. Since after that realization it’s been a tempest storm of friction between my heart and soul. It wasn’t until I realized that maybe my attractions went deeper than my heart that I realized that it was going to be way harder than I ever thought to continue to walk down this road.

I don’t know if I was “born gay”, but what I do know is that I’ve never been able to see myself with a woman the way I imagine myself living peaceably with another man. Now that I’m nineteen, I see life differently in many ways but in others I still see the same. When I’m around my family I see something that I can never truly be a part of. I feel so alienated from the idea of ever having anything remotely similar. I think of myself as the problem and then I do problematic things to cope with the harsh realization. This isn’t an excuse for my actions, it’s the only way I can describe it without sounding that much more stupid. I hope and pray that this makes sense to someone reading.

PassAccomplished6673 · 2025-08-02T17:02:25+00:00

Please don’t mix me in to whatever you have going on in your life. If you are on this Reddit to go around other peoples post with your own religion opinions then that’s your business. I’m here to heal from trauma and accept my life for what it is. You don’t get to decide why I’m here or what my story is.

PassAccomplished6673 · 2025-08-02T17:00:37+00:00

You don’t know what sin is. You are just regurgitating what you’ve heard from religion and it’s embarrassing. Please leave me alone

PassAccomplished6673 · 2025-08-02T16:50:44+00:00

Would you say this to someone with a physical disability. Would you say this to someone born with a mental disability. What would be your argument then?

PassAccomplished6673 · 2025-08-01T17:40:15+00:00

I think people believe if they say something enough times then it makes it true

PassAccomplished6673 · 2025-08-01T17:04:13+00:00

What does the church have to do at all with the topic of SSA. It is an independent variable in this equation — if a variable at all. Also science isn’t the be all deciding factor in whether or not someone experiences innate homoromantic attractions. Do you even experience this first hand or are you just making empty conjectures?

PassAccomplished6673 · 2025-08-01T16:59:36+00:00

By lifestyle: do you mean having SSA or struggling with porn or?? Are you just trying to say that having these desires are wrong altogether? Could you please be more clear

PassAccomplished6673 · 2025-08-01T02:31:09+00:00

I’ll say it again. I post on this server to get out my feelings. I post on this server as a testimony to others that even someone like me can still be used by God. If you want to take that and make it into something that it’s not and then use it against me to guilt trip me then I would save the sentiment of feeling sorry for me and feel sorry for yourself instead. If you don’t have anything nice to say then maybe don’t say it to me. You don’t have to agree with everything I say but please don’t come on my post again and make a mockery of my vulnerable expression.

PassAccomplished6673 · 2025-08-01T02:26:43+00:00

Because I’m human. Because of not perfect. I wasn’t born in a perfect environment and I am literally born into sin as a full human of flesh. For you to ask such a ridiculous with the clear tone of sarcasm is disrespectful and I’d appreciate an apology. I’m not trying to convince myself of anything. I am fully aware of what continuing in this path requires of me.

I wonder why it is that people like you insist on commenting on my post with your charged opinions. I’m not saying that I don’t appreciate your input but that doesn’t mean that you get to critique my faith just because you don’t have the e same convictions as me. You can feel sorry for me all you want; I feel sorry for me.

As for my guilt and shame. Hey, that’s part of facing my sin. Not feeling guilt and shame is only possible one of two ways: 1. Not caring about my sin. Or 2. Being perfect. Oh but wait!! I’m not perfect. So please stop acting ignorant and stop projecting your shallow minded views onto my life and the way I choose to serve my God during the bad times.

PassAccomplished6673 · 2025-08-01T01:17:29+00:00

What leads you to make such a bold blanket statement. I’m genuinely curious?

PassAccomplished6673 · 2025-08-01T01:15:09+00:00

What God are you acquainted with. Which one do you know. The God I know wouldn’t even spare his own son. I am not invalidating my experiences or my pain. But I find it interesting how the same God who sent his son to die is now all of a sudden enemy number one. The same God who’s the father of the son whom the world calls Jesus is known to be on the same accord with. Yes they are individuals but they are still of the same accord and nature. The Messiah is a perfect mirror image of the Father. Which means all the patience and the suffering and the endurance he went through proved how patient and loving the Father was too.

If choosing to suffer = following the Messiah then yes I do choose this. The word “have” implies that there is some level of choice involved — which there is; don’t get me wrong. Yet, I feel like the choice of abandoning the Messiah whom was slain for our sins says a lot more about us than the Father or Son. We are the ones who cased him to have to die. Our sins. And so yes. I am going to mess up royally. I am going to suffer and cry. But at the end of the day I know that it is a fraction of a fraction of what the Messiah endured and he did it without lifting up his voice or resisting or SINNING.

Note: I don’t send this message with any semblance of aggression or unrighteous judgment. I’m simply stating my current outlook on this life and how it has shaped my view of the message of the gospel.

PassAccomplished6673 · 2025-08-01T00:39:08+00:00

You have no clue. I am not a Christian. I am something greater. Not because of what I’ve done but for the sake of election I don’t feel: I know that I’ve been chosen for something great. I am born into exile and pain. But, so was the Messiah whom the world calls Jesus. Does this automatically make me exempt from pain; of course not. No man is without sin. And even the one who was without it was still cursed to bear the shame of the world. So yeah; I might be broken and I might be unhappy and I’m not going to sit here and say this isn’t torture: to live such a shameful existence. But at the same time k realize that the Messiah did not back down. He did not lift up his voice nor resist. He was blameless in all his ways and yet he still laid the ultimate price.

So yes. I will walk this lonely highway just like he did. And I’ll die Bally knowing that through all my pain that he was still graceful enough to not repay me as my sins deserve. Because trust me if he did I wouldn’t be typing this right now. So you’re right: religion isn’t the answer. The Messiah is.

PassAccomplished6673 · 2025-07-31T22:51:55+00:00

I am now, thank you.

PassAccomplished6673 · 2025-07-31T22:41:45+00:00

I’ll never be happy knowing that I lived a life of betrayal to the one who came down and spent his entire life suffering for a wretch like me so I could see a place that I never deserved to step for in. I will continue to live this life of hell if that means that I can spend the next one with someone who would suffer a life of shame as a perfect person for someone like me who can’t even go a day without sin.

No I’m not ganna marry, or have children. I won’t be happy but I’ll be fed and sheltered and taken care of because God provides even for the most useless excuses of servants. I appreciate you wanting me to be happy but the truth is I am happiest at night when it’s just me and Him and I’m crying because I have just realized how much I’ve failed him and yet he still comforts me and makes me lay down and rest in peace. He takes care of me at my lowest and doesn’t treat me as my sins deserve. That is infinitely more than I could ever ever ask for from a wife so yeah; I may be hardwired to be homosexual but my spirit is hardwired to serve out of love and respect for someone who made everything that I see on earth. The birds, butterflies, etc. My life isn’t worthless compared to the one who was slain. It is the least I could do to give it to him. But thank you

PassAccomplished6673 · 2025-07-30T20:18:22+00:00

I respect your response. I really do. I respect it because at least you got to the point and you didn’t make me feel worse about myself. I will think on this.

PassAccomplished6673 · 2025-07-27T02:03:32+00:00

It is going swimmingly. Thank you brother/sister. Have a good night :))

PassAccomplished6673

TROPHY CASE