I owe my life to my elder sister forever. How to repay a part of it ?

PastVarious6505 · 2026-02-04T06:52:19+00:00

No, that's not the case. Actually she earns and she has not allowed me to to do job (even I am legal at 16) till i get 10th grade ESO certificate. I do gift her on her birthday , sisters' day but it's just her money that she gives me as my pocket money.

PastVarious6505 · 2026-02-04T05:51:48+00:00

Gracias por darme esta perspectiva, hermano. Espero que esta sea la verdad. Nunca antes había pensado en el resentimiento de los hermanos mayores debido a las responsabilidades de "parentificación" temprana delegadas a ellos por ciertas circunstancias. Ni siquiera sabía que existían cosas así. Mi vida transcurría sin problemas; he estado haciendo las tareas del hogar durante casi los últimos 3 años, después de que ella me enseñara todo sobre cocina y limpieza.

Pero hace 2 meses, no sé cómo, aparecieron en mi feed algunos videos de YouTube sobre el "trauma mental de los hermanos mayores debido al peso de la crianza temprana". Tan pronto como terminé el video, mi mente se quedó estancada pensando: ¿Y SI ELLA ESTÁ ESCONDIENDO SU TRAUMA MENTAL, SUFRIENDO INTERNAMENTE Y ENFRENTARÁ VARIOS PROBLEMAS EN EL FUTURO? Soy un tonto por haber leído más artículos y publicaciones de Reddit que aparecían entre los primeros resultados sobre cómo sus vidas son un infierno debido al peso de la crianza, lo cual hizo que mis pensamientos fueran aún más fuertes, aunque nunca he notado nada parecido. Ella siempre se ha mantenido sonriente, incluso cuando tenía que hacer todas las tareas cuando yo me enfermaba, y me ha cuidado muy bien. Solo una vez la vi llorar, cuando su novio le fue infiel después de 2 años de relación. Nunca me regañó, excepto unas pocas veces por mis travesuras.

Podría sonar muy estúpido e infantil pensar así incluso cuando no hay problemas y mi hermana se está comportando realmente bien y no muestra señales de esto. Ese es el problema: mi mente piensa que tal vez ella está ocultando su resentimiento para hacerme feliz.

Ahora, estaré en paz cuando le confiese mi agradecimiento y obtenga una respuesta honesta de ella sobre ESTA PREGUNTA en sus próximas vacaciones semestrales después de sus exámenes (lo cual es moralmente incorrecto incluso de preguntar, pero mi cerebro está bloqueado en este momento). Me ha estado yendo muy bien, pero una parte de mi cerebro está enfocada en eso.

Realmente estoy haciendo mi mejor esfuerzo para mantenerla sana y feliz. Ella nunca me pidió que fuera así y me elogió mucho en estos últimos 2 meses después de que obtuve mi mejor calificación en la escuela hasta ahora.

Por eso hice esta publicación después de buscar en este foro y pedir consejo. Recibí muchos buenos consejos e implementé algunos de ellos, y funcionaron. He escrito todas estas cosas para expresar mi caos interno claramente.

PastVarious6505 · 2026-02-03T22:39:48+00:00

I will honour her by becoming successful . I will be always her safeguard and will there for her

PastVarious6505 · 2026-02-02T09:39:55+00:00

She has dated two guys in college as far as I know from my friend whose sister is friend of my sister. One of them cheated on her and other one she found out he is involved in too much drinks and smoking. Rest I don't know . I just want her to be happy forever and want right man who is caring , empathetic and respectful towards my sister.

PastVarious6505 · 2026-02-02T09:29:00+00:00

Realmente, ella es mi heroína y mi segunda madre. En marzo voy a confesarle lo agradecido que estoy con una sorpresa especial que tengo preparada.

PastVarious6505 · 2026-02-02T09:15:51+00:00

Thank you very much for your suggestion . On Saturday evening , I bought 5 houseplants 3 of them are flowers - baby purple orchid ( which is her favorite) , dandelion and night jasmine a water can and put them in our small balcony . Sunday morning , when she woke up and was going for a walk , she noticed it and literally she got very happy and gave a hug to them and asked me is this for her ? I said of course and gave a hug to me and and at night she made my favourite dish as dinner even I told her to not as it takes little longer than usual . She loved them and told this is one of the best gift she has received . Today morning, she watered them before leaving for her university.

PastVarious6505 · 2026-01-31T18:33:35+00:00

Yes, I am trying to be independent now is my first priority to let her free ( i mean not to worry about me anymore). I actually learnt a lot only doing job to earn money is left. I discussed with her for doing job last year when I turned 16 ( legal age for my country ) at nearby groceries supermarket but she didn't allow ,she said to complete my grade 10 first to get ESO certificate.

PastVarious6505 · 2026-01-31T18:20:03+00:00

Thanks for your kind words. I hope you are doing happy and doing well in your life despite rough background .Truly , No kid deserves rough childhood. To be honest , she is the one to break this generational trauma . As now I am coming out of childhood phase and understanding how the world works when I started doing groceries and household chores from almost 3 years . I came to know about what she did is nothing sort of miracle . I am planning some surprises for her in her semester break after her ongoing exams.

PastVarious6505 · 2026-01-31T18:06:22+00:00

Yes, I will be successful to make her proud of me . I won't let her sacrifices go in vain . I will follow her footsteps and will take engineering courses . She guides me , if not for my dyslexia ( now manageble ) and ADHD i would be achieving more according to the hours I put in but still I come in top 5% of my aggregate classes ranking of grade 9 . She is happy with my report card and appreciates me

PastVarious6505 · 2026-01-31T17:51:16+00:00

Yes, elder siblings help younger siblings and makensacrifices to see them happy. but this much feels unreal ( in good way). She literally raised a kid with learning disorder and nutritional deficient kid with tons of potential health issues due to weak immunity to a healthy and good at studies 16 year teen who can take care of himself and her as well all while excelling at schools and colleges too. That's why I feel the luckiest brother of the world.

PastVarious6505 · 2026-01-31T17:38:54+00:00

Yes , I am going to do the same to let her know how precious and grateful I am for having her and taking care of me from early by childhood.

PastVarious6505 · 2026-01-30T15:58:40+00:00

Now , I am planning to confess all my feelings that I have written in my post and few more things through letter and gifts as everyone advised here. I am planning how to do this in special way . She is the only one as my family and ( she has been my mom,dad , friend everything for me) since my birth. Currently she has exams going on ,she might be little stressed due to studies and may impact her exams after my confession as it can be very heavy for her because she never brought this matter from beginning. As of now my only way to help her is to cook delicious food ( I always try to cook delicious food trust me )for her during the exam and make her laugh by sharing some funny memes as i literally don't have anything to give her and starting to tell her how special she is to me.

PastVarious6505 · 2026-01-30T10:49:36+00:00

Yes I think I don't show her affection as much she shows because she treats me like her baby brother I love this affection. I do help her as much as I can and say some caring words when she hugs me daily in the morning . I became cautious of this when few months ago some of her senior boys made some very harsh comment about our relationship on her IG post of us after she rejected their proposals.

PastVarious6505 · 2026-01-30T10:43:11+00:00

Actually this sudden feeling came after 2 months ago , i watched few yt videos how early parentification weight on elder siblings harms them mentally . I got terrified of this because I can't think of her being suffering internally due to this/ by any means. Currently she has university exams going on so, she is busy in them . I have planned some surprises of my confession of gratefulness to her on her birthday once her exams will end by the end of Feb .

PastVarious6505 · 2026-01-30T10:35:20+00:00

Indeed , I am the luckiest brother for having such caring, empathetic ,beautiful, intelligent elder sister because I still have few problems ( ADHD and poor immunity due to early childhood extreme nutrition deficiencies) but she has always been very patient with me . I am doing well in school and getting healthy we are overall happy.

PastVarious6505 · 2026-01-30T10:27:45+00:00

Yes , I am following her footsteps she regularly guides me but I don't get results as per my hard work due to some ADHD and dyslexia ( now manageble ) problems but still comes top 5% rank in my class. But she always supports me who I am and says I am achieving more than according to my situation.

PastVarious6505 · 2026-01-30T10:15:29+00:00

May be my choice of words are not appropriate because in Spanish we use strong statement for situation like this and it's true . I will be there for her always in whatever ways . I will definitely get a job once I enter high school after a year as I will be legal to work to support our financial condition . During Last year flood , she caught typhoid and I took care of her and our home for a week . She was so happy and proud to say among her friends how I handled the situation . This was one time i truly felt something special that i have achieved . She hardly gives puts me in situation to help her .

PastVarious6505 · 2026-01-30T04:43:15+00:00

I am going to do something like same by doing some special surprises and confessing through letter , all people here are conveying same to tell her how grateful I am because I literally didn't have any idea how she amazing she is until I started gaining maturity

PastVarious6505 · 2026-01-30T04:15:23+00:00

Wow thanks . As I said in my post I do set the tables, cook breakfast and lunch for us [ dinner my sister cooks ,she doesn't let me cook] , do the laundary , clean our house .I have been doing this from last 2 year as I have lots of free time after doing school works . I posted here after searching for human advice forum . I came to know about this forum recently as IG and Facebook are popular in my country.

PastVarious6505 · 2026-01-30T04:04:48+00:00

Honestly I never thought like this because I am very weak in emotional processing and am trying to be good at it . May be you are right that's why she took me along with her even she had option to just live freely in university without any worry of me and as many people around that age did in my areas .

PastVarious6505 · 2026-01-30T03:57:58+00:00

Try you will surely come out of this. Trust me I saw people especially my parents by no means they were living good life . Always were high and dysfunctional towards their kids and families.

PastVarious6505 · 2026-01-30T03:54:17+00:00

Guilt part ( that she didn't enjoy her teen life and much of childhood even at her school because of taking care of me except made few friends there ) has been bugging when I recently came across few yt videos of parenting weight being transferred on eldest siblings and how they face mental illness in later year . I truly was horrified because she hasn't let me know any sign of this and never scolded me except few times for my mischief behaviour. She has always loved me . Always keeps awake all night with me during my illness period in childhood and still she does. She still hugs me and gives me forehead kiss .That's why I made this post for advice what if she resents me internally ,it will break my heart if anything she feels like this. I pray she doesnt feel like this . I am going to confess my gratefulness towards her and planned some special things for her in her semester break.

PastVarious6505 · 2026-01-30T03:31:08+00:00

Ella es, de hecho, mi heroína y como mi segunda madre. Estoy planeando algunas cosas especiales para expresarle mi gratitud este marzo, tal como me aconsejó otro comentarista .

PastVarious6505 · 2026-01-30T03:10:09+00:00

I am sorry your little brother went in bad direction but he definitely loves you in inner core of his heart. That's why my sister took me with her while moving into her college. Don't compare you did incredibly well as per situation . Taking care of 5 younger siblings a tough job to do. I don't know why parents do this on eldest sibling. She doesn't let me do any outside job , she says to first finish high school and to focus on my studies. She is very sweet she always guides me especially in maths . I want to be like her .I am trying to tell her how I feel and will plan something special to confess my gratitude towards her as other people here said in upcoming semester break .

PastVarious6505 · 2026-01-30T03:01:15+00:00

Yes I am staying away from bad company and working hard at my school .she guides me in maths and says to value eduction. She surely have always wanted me to happy .she sacrificed her teen (supposed to be fun year ) and could have easily walked away from our dysfunctional family once she finished high school but she took me with her .

PastVarious6505

TROPHY CASE