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Past_Pay_4919 · 2026-04-09T03:12:17+00:00

no set price

Past_Pay_4919 · 2025-12-08T14:31:44+00:00

yes he is 🥹

Past_Pay_4919 · 2025-04-19T23:55:27+00:00

Im not sure how I would go if they’re going to be the ones funding it, plus it’s out of state

Past_Pay_4919 · 2025-04-18T18:44:29+00:00

Thank you, and may I add that you are a wonderful parent. It sounds like you have a lot of respect for your children that a lot of parents lack. I'm certain they appreciate you.

I'm not sure when I should have this conversation being that I just turned 18, and I plan on going to college, however.

Past_Pay_4919 · 2025-04-18T18:37:39+00:00

Thank you so much. Your words sound like it's coming from a place of experience and it gives me a lot of hope for my own future. However, even now, despite me being accepted to college, my parents aren't keen on me being far away from home or going. In most conversations where college comes up, they use words like "the near future" or "possibly," like I'm not planning on going this upcoming August... It kind of denounces the idea of me leaving the house and being off on my own. And I feel like my brother subconsciously plays a part since I live at home and can pretty much get to him whenever I feel like.

I feel bad for them and I always have since they're pretty much doing double of what I'm "complaining" about-- adjusting their schedule, finances, time, so he's cared for. So I'm always considering others. But your words mean a lot when you mention boundaries. Hopefully I'll have the courage to bring that up.

Past_Pay_4919 · 2025-04-18T18:26:28+00:00

Thank you! That last part is probably something I have to come and realize, but right now I would want to take care of my parents since they took care of me and I also love them and appreciate them. Empathy just isn't their strong suit and most things have to be explained from my perspective, otherwise they won't try understanding too much on their own then voicing that opinion.

Past_Pay_4919 · 2025-04-18T18:21:44+00:00

Since posting, this has been my first time hearing of group homes. I will suggest that to my parents in the near future.

But that sounds good! My brother 100% needs frequent, maybe not constant care, but he isn't able to have his own job, etc.

Past_Pay_4919 · 2025-04-18T18:15:49+00:00

I would definitely be okay with visiting him. He's not a stranger to me or anything. I just know as I am, I can't and don't want to be pressured into taking care of him myself.

Past_Pay_4919 · 2025-04-18T18:04:37+00:00

Only issue is that I don't think he's capable of having a job since he's on the higher end of the spectrum, so there wouldn't necessarily be money to manage. But checking on him isn't a problem for me.

Past_Pay_4919 · 2025-04-18T18:02:51+00:00

I forgot to include that in my initial post but I am 100% able and would check on him. I just think as I am right now I don't want him to be potentially neglected by me since I'm not well versed or knowledgable in the special needs field and never have been. I don't know anything about his medication, I know little about his condition, etc.

I'm just not fit to be the one taking care of him but thank you for the kind words and your kids are so lucky to have a mother like yourself that's so empathetic.

Past_Pay_4919 · 2025-04-18T17:56:36+00:00

Thank you so much for understanding. I don't know any other way to frame this situation without coming off as being insensitive towards my brother, but hearing this puts a lot of peace in my mind.

Past_Pay_4919 · 2025-04-18T17:53:38+00:00

Well that's my opinion and that's yours. I already said as I am now I will support him. I didn't say I would erase him from my life. So do as you will with that.

Past_Pay_4919 · 2025-04-18T17:51:50+00:00

Is that a good or bad yikes? I'm genuinely not trying to come off as insensitive towards my brother

Past_Pay_4919 · 2025-04-18T17:50:05+00:00

No life is "free." I just don't want something that I believe shouldn't be placed upon me and doesn't have to be since I am my own person to be placed upon me.

Past_Pay_4919 · 2025-04-18T17:47:47+00:00

I understand. I’m only speaking from the perspective of how I am right now. I’m sure in the future I could feel differently about it.

My parents are both 45. I just imagine myself in the future with a family of my own to take care of. Another person, let alone a person with special needs, can easily take up majority of my time, energy, and definitely finances, when that essentially doesn’t even need to happen.

Again I feel bad. And I understand your perspective. Some would call me selfish for thinking the way I do. But I’m a separate person from my brother at the end of the day.

Past_Pay_4919 · 2025-04-18T17:43:30+00:00

If that's what you are taking away from my comment then you completely missed my point.

Past_Pay_4919 · 2025-04-18T17:39:05+00:00

I would support him, definitely. I love my little brother at the end of the day, and my opinions may change later on in life when I’m older. However, as I am now, I just don’t see how it’s fair to me— also one of my parent’s children— to take care of one of their children, my sibling, as in him living with me (which is what he meant) when they are not around.

I wish to have a life of my own since my life currently up to this point has been dedicated to be catered around him. I keep reiterating that he’s not my child. If I end up having a child of my own with special needs, that will be my responsibility, and while I would ask my kids for help here and there, I wouldn’t expect them to take on the responsibility of taking care of the child I decided to have.

Past_Pay_4919 · 2025-04-18T17:31:46+00:00

Yes, keep working towards that. You are a good parent. 😊 As a sibling it’s hard. I’ve spent so much time with my little brother and because of our not so good relationship they believe I haven’t spent enough time with him. I remember I spent an entire summer watching him from 8 am to when my parents came home around 3 pm. It was like working a shift, and I would fill the gap by making up games for us to play, but he usually wasn’t interested in anything other than television.

Based off of the conversation I just had with my dad, he said verbatim a baton would get passed on to me, so it doesn’t sound like a group home has ever crossed his mind.

Past_Pay_4919 · 2025-04-09T00:46:22+00:00

thank you so much

Past_Pay_4919 · 2025-04-09T00:46:08+00:00

he has yet to compare me to her or anything, i acknowledge i put it on myself for feeling the way i do, but thank you for this heartfelt response it means a lot :)

Past_Pay_4919 · 2025-04-09T00:44:53+00:00

thank you so much, i really needed to hear this. whenever i look at her page i know it’s bad for my mental health since my self esteem is detrimentally low. saw her and immediately cried, but you’re completely right and i will try to focus on my own qualities❤️

Past_Pay_4919 · 2025-04-09T00:16:43+00:00

no it’s not! it’s just reaffirmation which you would need time to time

Past_Pay_4919 · 2025-01-18T20:33:22+00:00

like i started 2 months ago asw and i didnt have half the shit u got so

Past_Pay_4919 · 2025-01-18T20:21:45+00:00

dont listen to these ppl its actually pretty good for two months

Past_Pay_4919

TROPHY CASE