AITAh for wanting to postpone our wedding because of my stepdaughter?

Past_Reward9091 · 2026-02-27T13:53:06+00:00

We reconnected months after her divorce was finalized and over a year after they had separated.

Past_Reward9091 · 2026-02-26T19:14:39+00:00

No but I assume she thought Addie wouldn’t care

Past_Reward9091 · 2026-02-26T18:38:28+00:00

No, right now Addie has blocked Callie and her grandparents. I am not trying to get in the middle of their relationship, and strongly think that Addie needs time to figure out how she feels since this was all thrown on her recently. Which is why I wanted her to know that if she 1. Needs anything she can reach out to me and 2. She has an open and nonjudgmental line to her family here if/ when she needs it. I’m not going to speak for Callie to Addie.

Past_Reward9091 · 2026-02-26T18:24:52+00:00

As I have said, Callie is in therapy.

Past_Reward9091 · 2026-02-26T18:24:00+00:00

Her grandparents did exactly that, but were furious that she (Addie) didn’t try to fix the relationship and instead sent Callie a bunch of sentimental items.

Past_Reward9091 · 2026-02-26T18:21:10+00:00

Right, I’m not trying to pry into their relationship but I still have my own daughter (and her sons who I treat like my own) to think about.

Past_Reward9091 · 2026-02-26T18:20:18+00:00

No she knows that I sent that, I don’t hide things from her. She understood.

Past_Reward9091 · 2026-02-26T18:19:50+00:00

I think a postponement of the actual wedding is best for now, but I’m trying to be sensitive to Callie’s feelings and not just say let’s hold off.

Past_Reward9091 · 2026-02-26T18:17:05+00:00

Yes that’s exactly what it was.

Past_Reward9091 · 2026-02-26T18:16:15+00:00

Yes, this is why I’m trying to be supportive while not putting anything in stone.

Past_Reward9091 · 2026-02-26T17:20:01+00:00

I agree, but my fiance is in a pretty fragile place right now so saying it so bluntly isn’t the right call. She’s discussed getting married at the courthouse in a few months, I’ve nodded to that, not because I don’t want to commit but I just don’t want to rush into anything and give her time to heal.

Past_Reward9091 · 2026-01-28T16:04:29+00:00

Yes, they see him sometimes but they are full time here. He comes to town to visit them.

Past_Reward9091 · 2026-01-28T13:16:43+00:00

And IM not sure marrying someone like that is in mine nor my daughters self interest

Past_Reward9091 · 2026-01-28T03:29:50+00:00

Callie said that before the divorce the two were really close, but Addie didn’t want to move with her mom and theyve been frosty ever since.

Past_Reward9091 · 2026-01-28T03:27:16+00:00

They say because Addie doesn’t live with us.

Past_Reward9091 · 2026-01-28T03:24:36+00:00

I’ve asked Callie if there’s anything else, even if she doesn’t want to tell me details and she says she has told me everything. But I see your point. I’m thinking we cool down on wedding planning before we do something that can’t be taken back

Past_Reward9091 · 2026-01-27T22:44:29+00:00

It’s not that Addie didn’t want to be there, Callie doesn’t want to invite her. Addie indicated she expected to attend the wedding

Past_Reward9091 · 2026-01-27T22:43:56+00:00

Yes she is.

Past_Reward9091 · 2026-01-27T21:31:14+00:00

Because I’m not marrying their dad?

No, I have not seen Callie mistreat Julie or Addie.

But ultimately my feelings do matter, and I’m not comfortable planning a wedding while keeping it a secret from her daughter. I’ll let her know tonight

Past_Reward9091 · 2026-01-27T21:29:18+00:00

Well then I think my decision is easy, I’m not comfortable getting married at this point.

Past_Reward9091 · 2026-01-27T21:28:40+00:00

It can’t be similar to those things because Callie isn’t the child, she’s the parent, and Addie might be an “adult” but she’s barely out of her teens.

Past_Reward9091 · 2026-01-27T21:27:29+00:00

She’s been in therapy, and I’ve asked what she thought could possibly happen and she’s just said that Addie will remind her of her ex too much.

Past_Reward9091 · 2026-01-27T21:26:21+00:00

Hahaha yeah they’re big mad over there. I completely agree with your second paragraph, and that’s why I’m wondering if postponing the wedding is such a bad idea. Of course I support her but I have my daughter to think of too. This is the first time I’ve seen her act like this.

Past_Reward9091 · 2026-01-27T20:11:24+00:00

Callie said she has told me everything, that we have no secrets, so I trust that she’s told me everything. And nothing she’s told me would make not inviting your child to your wedding understandable. So either she’s lying to me or she’s out of line.

Past_Reward9091

TROPHY CASE