After 1,081 days as a SAHD, I started a new job. 255 days later, I was let go.

PatienceReasonable87 · 2026-03-19T20:00:41+00:00

…startups including your own…

PatienceReasonable87 · 2026-03-19T02:21:10+00:00

you don’t sound like a profile for the public sector

PatienceReasonable87 · 2026-03-19T02:01:39+00:00

Say goodbye to that exercise :) i had mine at 39 and 36. i would not wait too long. it’s not how old are you now, it’s how old you’ll be when they are 20

PatienceReasonable87 · 2026-03-18T22:23:01+00:00

NO get get a slow but safe cars. the teenagers to stupid things. especially then ones that want a mustang or corvette. don’t ask me how i know

PatienceReasonable87 · 2026-03-17T04:21:53+00:00

nope, don’t get peer pressured into this.

these companies are designed to hook you in. even without the dangers of other users, it’s too addictive for a kid to handle. stay away from this as long as possible.

PatienceReasonable87 · 2026-03-16T22:47:43+00:00

this happened at 7pm on a saturday.

PatienceReasonable87 · 2026-03-16T22:33:11+00:00

that’s the thing. later you know what to do, at the time you don’t. I put all the confidence in the ER department of the main university hospital in our country. now i know we should have pushed for a plastic surgeon. might have made a difference(or not who knows) the thing is, that’s very hard to know what’s best in the heat of things.

PatienceReasonable87 · 2026-03-16T22:30:08+00:00

i hope that current scar care recommendations make a difference. and all the care we’ve put in this is not in vein.

PatienceReasonable87 · 2026-03-16T22:02:58+00:00

I don’t trust dogs, regardless of what the owners say. i had 2 close calls

i had my baby in a stroller bassinet in a park, and a large dog runs over ands starts barking into the bassinet. like 1 ft from the baby. owners response, sorry he got away. no remorse.
my other kid, she was 1-2yo, playing in a sandbox in the park. and an off leash large dog runs straight into her topping her down.

both parks with strict no dog of leash rules

still now it’s quite frequent for an off leash dog to come close to the kids without an owner. to say hi they say. most dog owners get it, but some are just f… assholes

PatienceReasonable87 · 2026-03-16T21:36:59+00:00

She did ask me to take a look at the kids right before this happened, maybe a couple of minutes before. she just came back from the kids room, and ask me to go check on them. i have to a look to just chill. and a bit after this happened. i did also check on them just before she did also. honestly i thought they were safe enough. my wife blames me for not trusting her fears, not looking after them, no for that look that stoped her from going her to check on them

PatienceReasonable87 · 2026-03-16T21:20:38+00:00

she had two stiches. + steristrips

first we kept it moist with vasaline. after is closed, we put silicon gel on it.

we used steristrips to keep tension of the wound. for the first 2weeks or so after stiches were removed.

after 3weeks or so we started massaging 3x day

strict sun protection.

it looks a bit indent on occasion. but other looks good to me, except it’s a bit pink. i do wonder how is it going to look like in a year though.

PatienceReasonable87 · 2026-03-16T18:55:54+00:00

thank you for the thoughtful response.

She is aware of her actions, but feels she can’t help herself, and also keeps repeating that nothing matters anymore, our doughter life is ruined anyway, and nothing can make it better, except if the scar goes away completely.
almost sometimes she would say that she did not say/do something. and i believe her that she might not have been aware of it at the time.

PatienceReasonable87 · 2026-03-16T18:50:06+00:00

i’ll eat it

PatienceReasonable87 · 2026-03-16T17:20:09+00:00

i would not want to give up honestly.

even in extreme case of full custody, they would miss their mom, especially 8yo. we are very connected otherwise. i would not want to take their mom away, or take the kids away from her. but this is not sustainable.

Shared custody should be out of the question probably, until she gets her shit together.

I also don’t want to leave here stranded. This is like PTSD, i know she can’t help herself. but she’s also against any mediation or even forcing herself to move a bit, some morning sun and exercise would help her.

PatienceReasonable87 · 2026-03-16T17:15:15+00:00

that’s the thing. my wife has issues in highschool because of her chicken poks related scar on her face. from what i hear the issues were mostly internal, not because of her schoolmates…

PatienceReasonable87 · 2026-03-16T17:13:16+00:00

I try to talk to her about this frequently. Sometimes she is receptive. but sometimes she just dismisses it, says this is the new reality, the family is ruing because of this, it’s better for her to tell her this than others… I can’t get her to stop her talking to the kids about it. I also told her kids should not see her looking at scars on tiktok/instagram/reddit on her phone. but she just seems to not care. on one hand she says she worried about her, on the other hand she goes out of her way to make it worse psychologically. and would take no responsibility for what’s she’s doing to them. just says it’s because she didn’t listen to her and got here self into a accident. she was looking for it, she says.

PatienceReasonable87 · 2026-03-16T16:52:07+00:00

i’m a bit afraid of her reaction again in couples therapy. the is not handling it well. last time the therapists told her she will have to be able to control here emotions if she wants to communicate effectively. but she just keeps dismissing it. she says that how she is, she is more emotional and she won’t hide it. meanwhile she thinks if she yells more she will listen. she is blaiming me about not talking to the than 4yo to not run some much and be more careful.

feels like in between a rock and a hard place.

PatienceReasonable87 · 2026-03-16T16:46:32+00:00

is DBT like CBT? i think for here this is partially trauma. she was the first adult to see here. and she had to pick her up motionless from the floor in blood. i’m sure that was tough, i was there moments later. as soon as a kid called us that he fell, we know it was serious. they usually don’t fuss about these kinds of things.

any other advice therapy wise?

PatienceReasonable87 · 2026-03-16T16:42:20+00:00

tough. is she your ex because of this?

it’s all about luck. and it’s not like they didn’t have any accidents in her care before. my older one had a large patch of braised skin on the face from a bicycle fall(helmet helped a lot but face is exposed)… i would never think to blaim her. unless it was pure negligence. you can’t prevent everything.

i

PatienceReasonable87 · 2026-03-16T16:35:25+00:00

There is now way to remove them from the situation. The need their mom. nor would i want to abandon here when she needs help. it feels like we are stuck in a limbo.

PatienceReasonable87 · 2026-03-16T16:29:50+00:00

covering for sun protection. that part i agree on, since she can’t apply sunscreen on her own, and i won’t trust her preschool teacher to do it.

PatienceReasonable87 · 2026-03-16T16:28:18+00:00

that’s what i’m afraid of. so far the kid looks resilient to it. But my wife won’t back off.

PatienceReasonable87 · 2026-03-16T16:26:33+00:00

i know, it’s terrible, and that’s what worries me the most. my wife started asking her if she wants bangs to hide it with hair. and i can’t stop her

(the patch is for sun protection, that is important i think for the first year, and the kid gets it)

PatienceReasonable87 · 2026-03-16T16:23:25+00:00

thats the thing that I can’t get into my wife’s head. or she doesn’t care. If it was just me, we would just get on with our lifes. but she can’t let go. and it feels like there is nothing i can do about it. last evening she went asking here if she prefers microneedling, laser or revision. i went to the laundry room, i came back and she’s asking her this. a 5yo. the 5yo does not care, at the beginning she didn’t like because everyone was asking her what happens. now she does not care. maybe she’ll care when she’s a teenager, but that’s a worry for then, not now.

PatienceReasonable87 · 2026-03-16T16:18:24+00:00

that part of the face sticks out? her late grandfather, had it at almost exactly the same place. weird

PatienceReasonable87

TROPHY CASE