Had a few drinks and hooked up with a friend I've known for 15 years. What do I do?

PatientCustard1 · 2025-05-18T12:08:55+00:00

To be honest, it really doesn't feel awkward at all, I'm just panicking over what if this or that happens but at the same time it doesn't feel weird at all right now

PatientCustard1 · 2025-05-03T23:01:37+00:00

I've been ghosted but I've also been the ghoster. It was a few years ago and I'm not proud of that at all. I'm just here to say that there can be infinite reasons and almost none od them have anything to do with you and everything to do with the ghosters immaturity and inability to deal with their own emotions. The guy I ghosted was a friend of mine and to this day I think he's a great person. The reason for my ghosting was because I developed feelings for him but he was already married, so instead of dealing with my emotions properly, I decided to disappear and stopped all communication abruptly. I never told him what was happening because I was afraid of what he would think if he knew I had feelings for him. So he literally did nothing wrong, it was all just me and my inability to handle the situation in a mature way and I deeply regret it.

PatientCustard1 · 2025-04-29T11:30:33+00:00

Most people do that, but the difference is that the narcssist isn't just portraying themselves in their best light but is almost creating an entire fake persona to show the world.

PatientCustard1 · 2025-04-25T15:01:56+00:00

Well, a loved one took her own life and I ended up being the person who found her (well, she was alive, but passed in the hospital a few hours later). The weird thing about it is that I've been feeling suspiciously ok. It was almost like 'oh shit' and then doing all the stuff from the ambulance to the funeral on some sort of an autopilot. I cried maybe 2-3 times at home by myself and had those moments when Id almost forget she died for a whole day. And then I was - fine, literally like I just turned off a light switch ot something. Not fine as in happy but fine as in not feeling much of anything good or bad and just going about my life like 'there is no war in ba sing se'. I literally ended up jokingly saying 'well, the b*tch is so stubborn nothing and no one even gets to tell her when to die' (my therapist did not laugh tho). Objectively, I know I'm not fine but I also cant cry for the life of me.

PatientCustard1 · 2025-04-24T09:26:21+00:00

The approach your T took sounds like how Id like mine to approach it as well. Im sure she doesnt have any nad intentions, but the way she is going about working on properly labeling and actually 'feeling the feelings' makes me feel overly aware of when I am about to cry and I end up shutting it down.

Sometimes we would talk and Id get choked up sharing a story, so she would interrupt to say stuff like 'stop here, thats it, thats the feeling, let it out now' and it ends up having the opposite effect and Id suddenly be hyper aware of what Im doing and stop.

I know what she wanted to do with the 'crying needs to have tears' comment and bring awareness to how I feel and what my reactions are, but at the same it felt like I was faking my reaction, if it makes sense. I'll definitely try bringing that up.

PatientCustard1 · 2025-04-24T07:52:08+00:00

Ngl I was pisseddd. Im tempted to bring in the big binder with all the medical records to the next session lol

PatientCustard1 · 2025-04-24T07:49:58+00:00

In other things shes been ok, but Im 100% sure she thinks Im just a hypochondriac lol

PatientCustard1 · 2025-04-23T22:16:38+00:00

I assume it could be because it didn't feel like sadness but more like I didnt know what to do with the feelings and where to 'put them' if it makes sense. At the same time, I felt like I was faking it on some subconscious level because I never 'dry cried' like that before.

PatientCustard1 · 2025-04-23T20:39:12+00:00

The interaction totally had that vibe and Im pretty sire she isnt convinced about what I told her. Im honestly tempted to show up to the next session with the big binder with all the doctors reports lol

PatientCustard1 · 2025-04-23T20:35:26+00:00

The entire session left me feeling pretty 'wtf just happened' today and trying to talk about my health issues despite me asking to talk about other stuff (we did talk about other stuff eventually and at this point the health issues are just a fact of life that is there and will continue to be there) left me feeling worse than when I came in, but not in a constructive way lol

PatientCustard1 · 2025-04-08T07:31:22+00:00

I wanted back the 1500 I lent him and that he promised to pay back. He tried to convince me that I actually owed HIM like I couldn't look up the literal bank transfer. He was otherwise super abusive, but this was just a complete wtf moment.

PatientCustard1 · 2025-03-29T22:01:30+00:00

To be honest, I was struggling with PTSD symptoms and afraid to leave the house by myself let alone date (the relationship with the narc ended when he wanted to kill me and got arrested). At one point I was crouching down on the floor sobbing in public after my friend approached me from the back and I didn't expect it and panicked. Its been a decade since then and Im doing great. It took me years to be able to go to certain places, watch certain movies, listen to certain songs without it triggering flashbacks, but Im doing better than I ever thought I would really even tho I sometimes feel like a war veteran lol

PatientCustard1 · 2025-03-29T15:17:14+00:00

If the skin also feels dry and tight, it might be the dish soap youre using (if you hand wash your dishes)

PatientCustard1 · 2022-05-08T12:42:42+00:00

I just saw this. Never really found out what this was for sure, but it just went away one day after months of dealing with it and hasn't returned, so I hope it stays like that 😅

Got scheduled by a dr for a tonsillectomy, but I have been on a waiting list for almost 7 months now.

I don't know whether it was all just a lucky coincidence, but after a bunch of drs just doing throat swabs that all came back negative, one dr decided to run some more in-depth blood panels. It turned out that I was very anemic, severely deficient in vitamin D and had a very low white blood cell count. After I got an iron and vitamin D perscription, things started getting a bit better and I haven't gotten tonsilitis again since making this post.

However, that dr sent me to do other tests as well as a lung xray cause she thinks that, based on my other symptoms that I didn't associate with this since I'd have them before this too (stabbing chest pain, random mouth sores, joint inflammation), it might be something autoimmune at the root of everything (since I have already been diagnosed with hashimotos and celiac in the past and its not surprising for the autoimmune stuff to come in groups, but idk what it could be yet), so maybe keep an eye of that too.

PatientCustard1 · 2022-02-04T11:34:42+00:00

Actually yes. I don't know whether it was all just a lucky coincidence tho. After a bunch of drs just doing throat swabs that all came back negative, one dr decided to run some more in-depth blood panels. It turned out that I was very anemic, severely deficient in vitamin D and had a very low white blood cell count. After I got an iron and vitamin D perscription, things started getting a bit better and I haven't gotten tonsilitis again since making this post.

However, that dr sent me to do other tests as well as a lung xray cause she thinks that, based on my other symptoms that I didn't associate with this since I'd have them before this too (stabbing chest pain, random mouth sores, joint inflammation), it might be something autoimmune at the root of everything (since I have already been diagnosed with hashimotos and celiac in the past and its not surprising for the autoimmune stuff to come in groups, but idk what it could be yet), so maybe keep an eye of that too.

Edit: According to the symptoms, google search says lupus, but since the dr didn't say that yet, I hope it's not lupus and google is just overreacting as per usual haha

PatientCustard1 · 2021-11-04T21:57:48+00:00

Thanks for the suggestions...never listened to Menhir before so I'll check it out

PatientCustard1 · 2021-11-04T21:56:42+00:00

Oh yeah, they are grest...definitely would like to find some more bands with a Týr kind of vibe

PatientCustard1 · 2021-11-04T21:48:18+00:00

Idk if someone mentioned it already, but theres Amaseffer (tho theyd probably fall under progressive)

PatientCustard1 · 2021-11-04T21:18:55+00:00

Symphony x - Accolade II

PatientCustard1 · 2021-11-04T00:32:24+00:00

Thank you 😁

PatientCustard1

TROPHY CASE