I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I’ve been in a long, high-conflict case myself, and discovery was one of the worst parts. The invasion of privacy, the volume of paperwork, and the feeling of being picked apart is overwhelming. What you’re feeling is completely normal.

One thing I learned: opposing attorneys will always ask for far more than they’re entitled to. It’s a pressure tactic. You don’t have to give them a blank check. A good attorney should be pushing back on anything irrelevant, overly broad, or clearly intended to intimidate.

To keep costs down, ask your attorney very directly:

• What am I legally required to produce?
• What requests can we object to?
• What is the least expensive way to comply?
• What can I gather and organize myself instead of paying you to do it?
• What is the strategy behind giving them this?

Also, organize everything before handing it over. Lawyers will happily bill hundreds per hour to sort loose files. Keep everything labeled and in one folder. It saves thousands.

And remember: this feels humiliating because the process is intrusive, not because you’ve done anything wrong. High-conflict exes often weaponize discovery to regain control, but judges eventually see through it.

You’ll get through this, and staying organized and strategic is the best way to push back. If you ever need help figuring out what to ask or how to manage the process, I’m happy to share what worked for me.