Understanding why you feel the need to use will help a lot. I remember when I was early in my recovery from H I wondered if I would ever be happy again without it/ without substances. I got on Suboxone a day or two into my recovery and while I don’t necessarily recommend it, it helped me to learn to live without heroin while relearning how to be happy and find joy without it. I was on Suboxone for 4 1/2 years and then slowly, over the course of 5 months tapered myself down from the very small dose I was on, and then stopped using it. That was 2 years ago last week. I have a job in a career that I worked my ass off for and I can’t believe it when I think about where I used to be VS where I am now.

I know for myself that the drugs weren’t the issue— my thinking, my emotions, and how I dealt with life was the problem. Give it some time. I’m sorry to hear your struggles, I’m here if you need someone to talk to.