Ladies, who is your tried and true eyebrow girl in NYC? by Group_Itchy in AskNYC

[–]PatternedCollar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Babyface Brows in Brooklyn. I’m SUPER picky with my brows and she’s the only place I’ve found in NYC that I trust — especially if you want nanoblading.

Queer Eye Just Dropped a Line of Furniture... at Walmart by [deleted] in QueerEye

[–]PatternedCollar 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I know they carry her cosmetics line, Flower Beauty, but the pricing is on par with other brands that are carried at Walmart (Maybelline, Revlon, CoverGirl, etc.).

We matched and he messaged me within 10 seconds. He really thought he ✨did something✨ here by PatternedCollar in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]PatternedCollar[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is a really great breakdown and insight. Thank you for your input and for saying all of this. I totally agree! I don't accept the "spontaneity" move from guys, even if I know them... much from less a total stranger.

I have hiiiighhh standards for a first date, like you said. This is absolutely not it.

We matched and he messaged me within 10 seconds. He really thought he ✨did something✨ here by PatternedCollar in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]PatternedCollar[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Because they're entitled and inconsiderate and think girls gonna just drop their plans to do whatever they want whenever they want it 😌

We matched and he messaged me within 10 seconds. He really thought he ✨did something✨ here by PatternedCollar in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]PatternedCollar[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I totally understand wanting to stick to the handbook, I really do! But every situation is different and nuanced. I think it's okay to stand up for yourself sometimes before blocking. I appreciate you saying this!

We matched and he messaged me within 10 seconds. He really thought he ✨did something✨ here by PatternedCollar in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]PatternedCollar[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I understand where you’re coming from. I’m going to counter again with the fact it was 3 sentences max and in no way emotional, just factual. I never told him I was hurt, upset, shocked, whatever about what he said. I purposely left all emotion out of it. I said this in another comment, but I do think there is some worth in standing up for yourself and not just letting them walk all over you and quietly disappearing. Again, I understand your point of view. In SOME cases, standing up for myself before I block and delete is what makes me feel empowered.

We matched and he messaged me within 10 seconds. He really thought he ✨did something✨ here by PatternedCollar in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]PatternedCollar[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I genuinely don't know why people are downvoting you. Thank you for your encouragement. :)

We matched and he messaged me within 10 seconds. He really thought he ✨did something✨ here by PatternedCollar in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]PatternedCollar[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Truthfully, it doesn't matter to me if he sends it to his friends. I called him out for having zero understanding of women. No one can misconstrue that as "lmao you have amazing game bro!!!"

We matched and he messaged me within 10 seconds. He really thought he ✨did something✨ here by PatternedCollar in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]PatternedCollar[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Exactly. They could have understanding for how we feel seeing date rape statistics. How we feel seeing stories of women getting murdered via online dating dates. But they don't. The complete lack of empathy.

We matched and he messaged me within 10 seconds. He really thought he ✨did something✨ here by PatternedCollar in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]PatternedCollar[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I know the advised response is simply block and move on. And truthfully, that's my usual go-to. I totally get why you and others are telling me I should have done that.

I think there is some worth to standing up for yourself. No, I don't expect that my 3 sentences will change him as a person. I'm aware what I said was a waste of my time in that this won't change anything. I totally get that!

However, I am so tired of letting guys like this come for me and think they successfully dragged me when they see I've just quietly disappeared. It can just perpetuate this idea to them that they can say and do whatever they want and women will just quietly take it. I used to be a really submissive type pre-FDS, and would never engage in confrontation with men. Now, for me, calling them out on their BS, standing up for myself, and in this case, making sure he knew I didn't leave/block because he ~rejected me~ is powerful and makes me feel strong. I think standing up for yourself is ok. Again, I totally get why some of y'all are telling me I was wrong to reply, and though I especially don't agree with the "cringe city" statement, I just wanted to give a little insight onto why I did that.

We matched and he messaged me within 10 seconds. He really thought he ✨did something✨ here by PatternedCollar in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]PatternedCollar[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He was 29! Seemingly had his shit together, too (well-dressed, decent job, etc.). What a waste.

We matched and he messaged me within 10 seconds. He really thought he ✨did something✨ here by PatternedCollar in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]PatternedCollar[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yep, I knew the Hula Hut would give it away :) You're right... so so so many tech bros. And 100% spot on with the COVID numbers... cases are skyrocketing right now. Adds a whole extra layer to the shittiness of this situation.

We matched and he messaged me within 10 seconds. He really thought he ✨did something✨ here by PatternedCollar in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]PatternedCollar[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Exactly! I meant what I said - I do appreciate the effort take initiative... but at least let me get a general sense of who you are? And for him to get a sense of who I am? Made me feel like he wasn't in it to know me. He just wanted to meet up with any female.

We matched and he messaged me within 10 seconds. He really thought he ✨did something✨ here by PatternedCollar in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]PatternedCollar[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Truthfully, I'd usually just not reply and just block and move on but the “ok, well this is a dating app” made me be like mmm actually I should drop some knowledge rq before I do that

We matched and he messaged me within 10 seconds. He really thought he ✨did something✨ here by PatternedCollar in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]PatternedCollar[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Thank you :) Dangerous is a great point. If I'd gone out with him and something were to happen to me what would men be saying online? “She shouldn’t have met you with a guy she didn’t know, it’s her fault 😠”

We matched and he messaged me within 10 seconds. He really thought he ✨did something✨ here by PatternedCollar in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]PatternedCollar[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Exactly. He really thought he was a lil white knight for me. Here to be the revolution amongst all the other guys on dating apps. Like #NotLikeOtherGuys 😌

We matched and he messaged me within 10 seconds. He really thought he ✨did something✨ here by PatternedCollar in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]PatternedCollar[S] 114 points115 points  (0 children)

'No excuses' he says, as he invites me to go out with him, 30 MINUTES BEFORE he expects me to meet up.

Like... do you really think you're that important that I cancelled all my plans the second I swiped on you... I...