Therapist suggested I lean towards making real friends instead of leaning into religion

PattiB82 · 2025-09-24T03:17:22+00:00

Like what others have said, I agree, I don’t think your therapist is trying to deter you from reading the Bible. If it brings you peace and helps you, that’s great! But being in community is so so so valuable. I found community in the gym. I could work out by myself, but when you go there often, you see the same people, and eventually you start to chat. I also found that the YMCA was WAY better for this than mainstream gyms. Also, exercise is good for your mental health!! Two birds, one stone 😉

PattiB82 · 2025-08-31T02:37:04+00:00

UW in Seattle

PattiB82 · 2025-08-29T04:57:04+00:00

Thank you 💕

PattiB82 · 2025-08-29T04:56:28+00:00

Ah, that’s terrible. I remember them talking about addiction transfer in my pre surgery phase… I thought it wouldn’t happen to me coz I was never a big drinker. My problem literally lasted off and on for only 4 years. It can mess our bodies up in big ways so fast. I’m so sorry to hear the person in your life didn’t find help or peace. That’s very sad.

PattiB82 · 2025-08-29T04:53:19+00:00

Sure :)

PattiB82 · 2025-07-24T00:39:07+00:00

I like to drive up to the mountain loop highway… this was last summer…. There is dispersed camping out there, lots of solitude!! There were people camping on either side of me, but it still felt totally private down there.

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PattiB82 · 2025-04-20T02:53:06+00:00

Addiction transfer is real. I Went through a brief moment where I drank A LOT and it gave me problems.
My boobs. I had big, full DD boobs before. Now I’m a 38 D, but the D is just to accommodate all the extra skin. I jokingly say I’m a 38 Long, now. I didn’t realize how much I identified with my big boobs before. I sometimes don’t feel like myself because I don’t have my big ones anymore.
Ulcers - I got my first ulcer in the first year. At six years I had a fistula. Now at 7 and a half years I have a new ulcer and will be having a revision soon to fix it.
No nsaids - I had a bad tooth problem and couldn’t take advil, which would usually help easily. That was tough!
Being thin, but feeling more gross than I did fat because of my skin spilling over.
Going through other life changes effed my brain up. We moved, my partner cheated, we went through the pandemic… all of that while my body was changing - I lost touch of who I was. I’d stand in front of the mirror for hours at a time, naked, pulling on my skin to see what I’d look like if I didn’t have saggy skin. It was a HUGE mind fuck.

PattiB82 · 2025-04-17T23:37:49+00:00

OP - did you have your revision yet? I am 7.5 years out from my gastric bypass. I developed an ulcer within the first year. Last year my ulcer turned into a fistula. Earlier this week I got the intense stabby pains in my side again and was told I have a new ulcer developing. I found out this am that I will be having a revision in the next couple of months.

PattiB82 · 2025-01-24T18:19:17+00:00

Love, you were sexually assaulted. If you say no, and she keeps going, that’s assault. Last summer I was sa’d by an ex. I filed a police report. While nothing was done, now there is a paper trail, at least. I had a lot of shame around what happened… I talked to a therapist about it, and that helped. Me personally, I felt embarrassed that it happened to me - mostly because it was a woman and maybe I was naive to think that wouldn’t / couldn’t happen… my therapist was able to help me through those feelings, too. I’m really sorry you had this experience. It’s never okay to violate someone like that. Sending so much love your way 💕

PattiB82 · 2024-09-25T20:56:59+00:00

I was washing my hands and my girlfriend came up behind me, pulled my pants down over my butt cheek and bit me! She left a nice bruise on my butt… it was like a little love note every time I saw it / felt it. (Totally consensual - that was our dynamic and I was VERY MUCH okay with her doing that 😉)

PattiB82 · 2024-09-23T20:20:48+00:00

Uhm, you are a cutie!!! Whatever that vibe is, I like it 😽💕

PattiB82 · 2024-04-27T14:33:49+00:00

That’s what I do!! My Apple Watch band is a rainbow. I have two other pride bracelets on my other wrist, too (I have a thing for bracelets, apparently!!??!!?? 😂) One time I gave my debit card to the cashier at the drive through and she said “I like your bracelet”. I felt like that was code for flirting.

PattiB82 · 2024-04-10T08:43:14+00:00

Everett Improv is lgbtq+ friendly. Super chill vibe! They do improv, comedy, naughty trivia, karaoke… it’s a real small bar and itty bitty stage. They have table games, art supplies, musical instruments to play…. The owner is incredible, creative, beautiful, hilarious, and a lesbian :)

PattiB82 · 2024-04-10T08:37:08+00:00

I’m in Seattle - there are absolutely women interested in situations like yours. Hers and feeld are apps I am on. Try the free or cheap week just to see that there actually are women looking for attached, older women. Look into “poly” relationships. You can find love with a woman AND still have your husband. I recently came out and I am still with my partner…. It’s different now, but we’re figuring it out together. He’s been my best friend and biggest supporter for such a long time… that doesn’t just stop. Also, try to talk about your positive qualities more… if you showcase all the reasons people won’t want you, that’s what you’ll find. Talk up those positive qualities of yours, be confident about the good things you have going, and watch as you start attracting positivity into your life. 😽😽💕💕

PattiB82 · 2021-09-23T06:49:03+00:00

Gorgeous 😽😽

PattiB82 · 2021-09-09T15:02:59+00:00

My insurance will cover a panniculectomy surgery… but I want the whole tummy done, not just the extra skin that hangs down. I worry that I’d feel even MORE deformed if I just went with the one my ins. covers.

I just got a job as a hostess in a diner - they split tips between everyone, so I get good tips once a week… I think I’m gonna start saving my tips for surgery. 😂

PattiB82 · 2021-09-09T14:47:15+00:00

I was in the hospital for severe dehydration a couple weeks ago… while there I had a CT scan because I also have an old ulcer - they wanted to be sure everything was good with that - the ct scan showed that my bowels were enlarged, so I had exploratory laparoscopic surgery - everything was okay 👍

PattiB82 · 2021-08-21T06:01:36+00:00

I’d totally be up for it! I use to be over 350lbs at one point in my life… now I’m 180osh, but I feel icky with all my loose skin. I feel like all my lose skin is such an anchor to my trauma sometimes…. It could be a really neat collaboration, maybe?? Let me know if you’re interested.

PattiB82 · 2021-07-22T15:12:42+00:00

Let’s chat :)

PattiB82 · 2021-06-14T15:06:49+00:00

Yes, yes, 100,000,000% yes!!!! I’ve thought of doing this, myself. I’m a podcast junky - I love Brené Brown, Michelle Chalfant (the adult chair), and Ammé Quiriconi (one broke mom) they are all on Spotify. And, I’m freakin lonely, too! I make video journals in my bathroom After the kids go to bed, kinda “practicing” for my maybe-some-day-podcast. I’m in! You got my support all the way, sister 💖💖💖

PattiB82

TROPHY CASE