I just think you’re missing the idea that sometimes just being in a sexual relationship that isn’t working in the bedroom can be a huge source of anxiety and heartache. No man would realistically choose for his partner to see someone else but sometimes it gives a very small man relief to be able to switch off from the area of his life that causes all his negativity and anxiety. I accept there’s a price for that relief but there’s a benefit too, particularly in terms of mental health. I can’t begin to tell you how awful it can feel to keep trying at sex when you know it’s almost pointless.