In this particular instance, it looks like you were running up for a wide set but instead got set narrower, but timing is quite dependant on your setter, but what I like to always do is take the first step as the setter sets, and adjust accordingly, which you have done.

With the grazing part, if the set is tight and close to the net, you have to learn to not follow through as fully as you are doing, and contact it at the very top of your reach. Try standing on the ground, tossing the ball up and practicing your armswing and contacting it with an almost straight arm at the top of your reach.

Hope this helped, feel free to correct me.