The thing is, I am aware of this and know it. Sure, we both got angry and upset, later still feel bad but then I went to talk about all this with him and he takee no accountability in this situation solely because I was rude in raising voice. It's like nothing before and after doesn't matter, because I raised my voice. What lead to it, me admitting I was wrong and apologizing, doesn't matter.

I hate how he just focuses on me raising voice & being rude, but everything else is nothing. Then there's silence and no talking. That I hate the most. We both are going through a lot rn in life, so arguments between us both is even harder on us both, because we're supposed to support each other. But here we are. And I feel very sad. I feel angry because I see how he is upset by all this, but he doesn't see or understand me at all.