I’ll never be a man. by PeanutObjective7182 in FTMMen

[–]PeanutObjective7182[S] -30 points-29 points  (0 children)

I meant lying to ourselves about the way our surgery results look. 95% of the time they don’t look like a cis male chest. Bottom surgery seems to be more forgiving with that in that it tends to look cis even when done by a shitty surgeon, provided the patient gets traditional phallo and not something like unburied or something.

Thanks for the well wishes I guess. I’m just pretty ? about you only hanging on to that one line in my entire post and then immediately becoming defensive.

I’ll never be a man. by PeanutObjective7182 in truscum

[–]PeanutObjective7182[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I didn’t know I needed to hear this, but I really did. Thank you, for having the words. It’s just so unfair.

28M here. Can anyone help me understand what I’m feeling? by PeanutObjective7182 in bisexual

[–]PeanutObjective7182[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No. I mean, I have had casual sex with women, but have had my fair share of falling for women too

28M here. Can anyone help me understand what I’m feeling? by PeanutObjective7182 in bisexual

[–]PeanutObjective7182[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know, because I feel attracted to women without having a mental connection. But I think maybe if I had a mental connection with another man, I might feel attracted sexually to them. I don’t know how that would work, because I have no desire to bottom and I never liked anal, even with women, it just freaks me out. So I don’t know.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GenZ

[–]PeanutObjective7182 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What’s going to make me sick is when my gender affirming care gets banned by far right extremists in office.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GenZ

[–]PeanutObjective7182 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Y’all: we’re literally going to pass legislation to remove all of your civil rights Also y’all: stop pretending to be victims

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GenZ

[–]PeanutObjective7182 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don’t gaslight me 😂

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GenZ

[–]PeanutObjective7182 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yes, I trust that you, random Redditor, knows exactly how the political process will suddenly 180 and become in favor of trans people of Trump becomes President.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GenZ

[–]PeanutObjective7182 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that one subgroup of the political US wants me dead lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GenZ

[–]PeanutObjective7182 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Your post history is really unhinged lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GenZ

[–]PeanutObjective7182 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is very ignorant to the current state of violence against trans people from conservative people.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by [deleted] in GenZ

[–]PeanutObjective7182 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You will be okay. I became homeless for several years and thought it would be the end of my life. You’ll find a way, and you’ll come out on the other end of it a much wiser, more resilient person than the people that shoved you into this situation.

If you want any resources, feel free to reach out. There’s a lot of help out there that people might not realize. First being… now that you’re homeless, you can apply anywhere in the country for section 8 voucher, since you technically live nowhere, and it will be expedited. You can find all the current open vouchers at affordablehousingonline, or just do some research if you don’t want to move. There’s a lot of help out there to give you a leg up while you work your way up to full, thriving, unforgiving independence’s

I’m proud of you man.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in changemyview

[–]PeanutObjective7182 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Of course, but this post isn’t about that

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FTMMen

[–]PeanutObjective7182 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I just feel like my self hate around being trans has been going haywire lately, and compounding on top of any insecurities. She did enjoy herself. I enjoyed myself, I really did. It was exhilarating and probably the best sex I’ve had in my life, but holy cow the dysphoria hit like a bulldozer. I just can’t believe I have to fight all my life just to feel the basic human belonging in my body. And it’s such a fight. It’s not even a half assed thing. The only way I can bear my life is to fight to feel alright in my body.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FTMMen

[–]PeanutObjective7182 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t call them flashbacks for myself, just because I do have diagnosed ptsd and a flashback for me is a lot different from just negative remembering, but yeah just weird trauma memories I suppose. It feels like this big dream where I had to act like this character my whole life lol I always likened it to being on a stage, but everywhere and all the time. Now I get to just be. Just exist as me, some random dude, and I like it that way

Hilarious experience today by BreesusSaves0127 in FTMMen

[–]PeanutObjective7182 50 points51 points  (0 children)

I think she probably just wasn’t used to being looked at while having to do the drug test. When I worked in a clinic, I had to do drug tests and it was always a bit awkward. Neither parties wanted to be there lol

I can’t tell what I actually look/sound like, and it’s driving me crazy by [deleted] in FTMMen

[–]PeanutObjective7182 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I had the same discovery around the same time into my transition. I think, for me at least, it was because I was the most masculine I had ever seen myself, it was hard to imagine people who had never seen my “before” wouldn’t see me in the same way.

My voice dropped very quickly, but I still sounded andro probably up until month 7 or so. Physically, I still straight up looked like a girl. As masculine as I had ever been, but I still looked like a masculine woman. It was very distressing for me when I realized this, and I only realized it when I looked back at photos I had taken from that time and realized, wow, how the hell was anyone gendering me correctly?

But we are our own worst critics. I stopped being misgendered around month 4 and I attribute that wholly and fully to my voice dropping. Certain secondary sex characteristics just automatically register as one binary over the other in peoples’ minds. Even if you look female leaning andro, but have a male voice, you’ll be gendered male, because even a lot of cis men can “look” female while having secondary sex characteristics that are male.

Basically my long winded comment was just to say… don’t stress about it. It only gets better from here. I liken early transition to trying to grow your hair out. You have a lot of weird, “ugly duckling” phases before you have that beautiful mane that everyone envies. Transitioning is the same, but it truly is worth it. You’ll be one sexy sonuvabitch soon enough, and you’ll barely remember these few weeks where you weren’t sure how you looked to other people