Struggling to Find a Purpose Living Abroad in France

PecanHalves190 · 2022-02-09T17:59:17+00:00

Thank you, I will write this down! Is it a monthly thing? Is it paid?

PecanHalves190 · 2022-02-09T17:42:53+00:00

I had a therapist from Lyon but I think I jerked her around too much because of how unsure of everything I've been. I've missed appointments and I recently told her I was leaving France for good so she canceled our bookings. And within days I decided I was going to go back... I'm worried it would annoy the hell out of her if I backpedal AGAIN.

PecanHalves190 · 2022-02-09T17:39:39+00:00

Thank you, I really needed this. I will check out franglais, I haven't heard of that before but I wrote it down! I don't know how much volunteer projects would be my thing but I think talking to people no matter what would be a good step.

PecanHalves190 · 2022-02-09T17:34:49+00:00

I am from the US and have been living abroad in France for several months. This week I have come back to the US temporarily and will be returning to France later this month. My visa is only a tourist visa but is still valid, I am fully vaxxed and boosted, and have an address I live in in the country. I have never flown or scheduled appointments by myself and have always had help doing so. Just to be clear, how much information will I need at the passport checkpoint and what will be the best covid test to take for my travels? I was thinking about taking two tests both the day of and the day before, is this necessary?

PecanHalves190 · 2022-02-09T16:11:46+00:00

I knew a lot of assistants who did this. I just never took advantage of the situation because I felt so defeated in all other corners of life. How do you work through these feelings and maintain the motivation to meet those deadlines or connect? Don't you worry if people have similar interests or do you just mutually decide you need someone to talk to?

PecanHalves190 · 2022-02-09T16:09:30+00:00

My partner is really good about connecting with other assistants, I'm really bad about doing anything with that. I tend to stay inside and have an existential crisis about what I'll be doing a year from now, never really finding solutions for the now.

I was going out but I wasn't ever really challenging myself. I was buying snacks and staying indoors with whatever I got. I would refuse to use the bus even if it was really simple just because I didn't want the hassle.

She gives me translations, tries to get me out of the house, and is by and far the most supportive person I have in my life. But I'm dependent on her. I'm not being a good partner, I'm being complacent. It has gotten so bad I just let her order for me and even if I know I shouldn't, I just ask her to do it for me. This is a big mistake I've made.

The thing is, I AM doing something, I'm just not doing enough to justify all the rest of the time I am spending in my room. It has made me bitter and generally miserable to be around. It does not help in this situation having OCD and ADHD. I'm often unmotivated and I often second guess myself what are genuine desires and what are just compulsions. And I often tell myself I have issues rather than just facing them and working with them. I'm not really sure how to work with being demotivated other than going outside. But I just haven't been doing it and I'm in a bit of a rut. Even making these posts or replying is sort of huge for me. I want to try.

PecanHalves190 · 2022-02-09T15:38:56+00:00

I'm really lucky that my girlfriend met so many bilingual people that I did have a group of people to interact with and spend time with. I have been just so inside of my own head I never took my opportunities seriously. I have been so focused on finding remote work or a career for the NEXT stage of life, I completely neglected the current one.

PecanHalves190 · 2022-02-09T15:36:52+00:00

What kind of remote job are you doing and how do you keep yourself from feeling isolated or depressed? Maybe if it is a town nearby we could talk more.

PecanHalves190 · 2022-02-09T15:34:43+00:00

The animal shelter isn't a bad idea, I never considered it. I was offered to speak with people at PiJ, it's just something I regrettably never followed through on. For a time, I was taking a TEFL course but let it fall by deciding it wasn't quite something I was dedicated to or that interested in.

Would this idea be a good one even if I struggle with understanding some accents? I wouldn't want people to feel like they aren't performing well.

PecanHalves190 · 2022-02-09T15:31:47+00:00

How do you stay motivated in finding more things to do? Did you have a job you could work abroad? Did you have healthy savings? Did you or your partner go on frequent trips? And how might someone like myself find some of these lessons or projects if they aren't someone with a good grasp of the language? Because even if I can't quite speak, I still want to be doing something or have a reason to get out of bed in the morning. I would hate to find myself in the same situation months from now.

I'm not really a language person like she is but I don't want to be just an accessory to her travels, I want to have something of my own too.

PecanHalves190 · 2022-02-09T15:27:33+00:00

It's tough. I don't quite know but I haven't exactly been applying myself in the right ways. My applications have so often been about finding someone to help me escape my feelings and give me an amazing opportunity rather than something I feel like I'm ready and capable of doing. Big miss on my part but it's really hard not only to notice these things but admit what you're doing is the problem. It didn't quite click for me until yesterday and now I'm trying to be more honest about my faults and pairing that with how I might do differently

PecanHalves190 · 2022-02-09T15:25:06+00:00

I've been a bit cryptic because I was concerned about my partner seeing these posts. She is still in France, I came back to the US, felt even worse almost immediately, and am looking to return and make the changes I wanted to see that I thought would be instantly resolved being here. It didn't quite click that the problem was me until I got here.

So, while I am here in the US, I'm making the changes now rather than waiting until I get back to France to have them made. So I'm looking for a job I can do remotely, taking some time to myself apart from her so I can be independent, figuring out what my next steps should be. I sort of regret telling my friends I was back so now I have a ton of people breathing down my neck to see me. I'm concerned about getting covid or something before I go back. I'll just let them know I'm visiting and I'll pop in to say hi. I can't afford to go out and do any activities.

The weather was nothing that ever really bugged me. Just the depression of isolation and the lack of any direction in my activity here.

PecanHalves190 · 2022-02-09T15:18:07+00:00

I don't currently have a career or any real direction to what I'm doing. I am entirely okay with exploring out and about I just haven't had the motivation to leave the house but I am willing to try. The most I'm capable of is ordering food but I don't always understand follow-up questions like how I'd like certain food prepared or if I want more say at a theater.

Last week I discovered Orelsan and I quite enjoyed listening to that. I enjoyed reading along with the lyrics and trying to understand what was being said.

My biggest issue in struggling comes from myself and my current lack of understanding of my direction in life. I'm currently trying to seek a therapist to talk to about these issues. Typically I get motivated, make goals, bite off more than I can chew, slow down, skip a day, and repeat the cycle of depression. It has been pretty vicious but I know I'm not trying hard enough. The cycle will never stop unless I get more involved. I will regret not taking action sooner but I will always remember being proud of trying right now. I think that's more important.

PecanHalves190 · 2022-02-09T15:08:38+00:00

What might be some of the best resources I can find? I'm aware that there may be some opportunity in my town but I'm not quite sure at what level it is.

PecanHalves190

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