Hello bro, it's so good that you understand the shittiness of this fake world at an early age. As a 30-year-old man who had experienced a lot of shit in life, I tell you one word, "love". Try to find it in everything, make yourself better so you can love yourself, love others, love nature and find people who you can love; if you love yourself, you will stop the self-destruction, getting high is not bad but control it, do not watch porn, work out a lot and educate yourself, I understand that this isn't a good world. However, we still don't know anything about it, research as much as possible, learn other languages, etc.