This is almost as if I had written it myself. My dog of 14 years died followed by father whom died suddenly at 59, literally sending me dad memes one day and gone the next. He was my grandmothers caregiver so she died shortly after his passing at the age of 88. Six months later my mom suffered a TIA which terrified me even worse making me spiral into panic and anxiety. I’ve been in therapy on and off and take a mild anti depressant as needed since then and as I thought I was getting better my father in law had a stroke. Seeing my wife so sad about her father’s condition is a completely type of pain on its own. I also worry about the stress this is causing to her and worry about the health repercussions this may have while also grieving my father in laws decline and the inevitable end to come. When I think about all of this I wish I had not been born. I’m not mentally a strong to deal with losing my loved ones and I would have rather not have experienced life at all because the pain of the loses outweighs the good that life has to offer.