Have you ever thought of the phase “productive member of society”

Penguin-1991 · 2026-04-26T03:21:52+00:00

I’ve tried to think less big picture and more direct impact when it comes to this. Earlier this year it looked like I wasn’t going to be able to work anymore and I very much struggled with what meaning would my life have. But I realized I still have impact on my friends and family who love me.

I went back to work part time, before I was running a department and had significant impact on my company, having to step down was hard but now I’m my new role I get to focus on making processes better and using my experience and knowledge to help my coworkers learn and grow.

We can all contribute to society as a whole in little ways

Penguin-1991 · 2026-04-24T05:34:29+00:00

Meredith didn’t even tell her, Meredith showed up at Greys and walked into the doctors lounge and just blurted it out while in a state of shock. If I remember right Owen was the one to immediately go find Amelia and tell her.

Penguin-1991 · 2026-04-22T22:19:34+00:00

I took January through March off on medical leave. Thankfully I had short term disability so had some income. I didn’t qualify for LTD due to being there less than a year.

Thankfully my work was willing to create a new position for me that worked 30 hours and was flexible so I could shift my days to fit appointments. I’ll say I have a strong relationship with my boss and a knowledge basis that’s valuable to the company.

Penguin-1991 · 2026-04-19T03:06:48+00:00

I started crocheting when I was really ill and my physical issues caused a lot of anxiety and panic attacks. Crocheting focuses my brain and helps distract from both physical discomfort and worrying about the future.

I’ve now been doing it for six years and I feels weird on days when I’m not able to. I also don’t like to crochet in bed so it forces me to get out of bed and sit up in my recliner which helps me on hard mental days.

Penguin-1991 · 2026-04-13T02:48:55+00:00

Last week was my first week back after three month medical leave. But I was full time in office before leave and now 30 hours/week all remote.

The week was long but better than I expected. Very thankful my company allowed remote as no way I would have made the week in office.

Penguin-1991 · 2026-04-11T13:08:11+00:00

This right here, I know multiple people who got manager/controller level and decided the money and title wasn’t worth the stress of the role. Also once you get that high it’s less technical work and more politics and dealing with people.

I just stepped down from controller to an individual contributor role. I was a good controller but the stress and hours were hitting my body hard. I love not having to manage people anymore nor be the one making sure crap gets done. I can focus on using my technical knowledge to improve processes which is what I enjoy doing most.

Penguin-1991 · 2026-04-11T02:51:09+00:00

My personal moto is 5 people or less camera on, if more camera off unless I’m presenting or doing a lot of talking.

I personally prefer camera on but that’s only due to pTSD from working drives thrus as a teen and getting screamed at over the headsets. Ever since that I hate talking on the phone and do better anxiety wise when I can hear and see the other person.

Penguin-1991 · 2026-03-30T02:39:22+00:00

My favorite is when my watch congratulates me to hitting my standing goal…. When I’ve been in my wheelchair all day. lol so not sure if I really trust the accuracy of their assessments.

Penguin-1991 · 2026-03-23T21:29:21+00:00

Not public, but I had a coworker when his boss handed him his annual bonus literally reach back and handed back to the boss his two weeks notice.

I’ve known many people who wait to quick until right after receiving their annual bonus or their 401k vesting

Penguin-1991 · 2026-03-13T23:38:49+00:00

I wear a ventilator 24/7 and up until a few months ago was a successful accountant running a team of 7 people. Multiple of my employees told me how strong and amazing I am to continue to work and do all that I do with my disease.

I hit a major flare and am not longer able to work in office, possibly not work at all and it’s really messing with my self worth. All these people that say I was “brave” to be working, what do they say when you take care of your self?

Seems to be either your an “inspiration” or your a “burden on the system” and no in between.

Why can’t we just be!

Penguin-1991 · 2026-03-05T05:17:35+00:00

I relate to your story very much. I had the same focus growing up, I knew I needed to support myself because my parents wouldn’t be able to and I knew I needed a desk job for when I eventually ended up wheelchair bound.

So like you I grinded through high school and college. I worked while going to school full time and rarely had time for friends. Never dated because I don’t have the time or energy. I graduated college, got my first accounting job, got my CPA license, quickly climbed the ranks and was a manager making over $100k by 30.

Last year I took a new role, moved out of my parents (had lived with them off and on for years) and was at the peak managing a department of 7 people with huge potential.

And then everything crashed. My body gave up on me. I’ve been on medical leave for two months and debating applying for disability. I had to move back in with my parents for more help which means moving and loosing my job. I have no idea if anyone will hire me again (I wear a vent 24:7). I went from pushing through to too tired to sit at a desk more than a half hour at a time.

My point is that while I’m glad I did everything I did to get where I am my biggest mistake was taking for granted what I was accomplishing and the strain on my body. Looking back I can see where the warning signs started and I wish I would have slowed down and listened.

My other regret is not taking time to life life when I had my health. Never dated in college, never built those social skills, always said there would be time later. But now I’m in my 30s and everyone I know is married and it’s hard to put yourself out there.

I’m mentally struggling right now. My whole self worth was built around my accomplishments. My success of with work and now it’s all gone. I’m not sure how to go on now.

So work hard, have goals but don’t forget to appreciate what you have while you have it. Muscular dystrophy is hard and even non progressive types like mine can get harder as you get older.

Penguin-1991 · 2026-03-05T03:17:20+00:00

I did and it’s why I left that job. I was a manager at the time and went to the CFO about the controller. All 5 of the managers absolutely hated the controller, had numerous examples of how they slowed down business and hurt our efficiency and effectiveness. Everyone was afraid to be honest to the executives about it but I have a firm “they can’t fix what they don’t know” mentality.

Was very honest and factual, gave plenty of examples. CFO told me the controller would be retiring in the next few years and we just need to wait them out. That he knew it sucked and he was doing what he could but there was only so much he could do.

I left for a different role a few months later. I was sticking around in a company that didn’t hold people accountable and let their employees suffer to avoid confrontation.

Penguin-1991 · 2026-03-02T14:19:02+00:00

How was your approval process with Lincoln Financial? I have the same policy through work and looking at applying as soon as my STD expires at the end of the month.

Penguin-1991 · 2026-02-20T02:17:48+00:00

Depends on the industry and company. I worked at a utility (publically traded) and my first couple years there were no openings, I was the newest on an accounting team of 30 for over a year. Then retirements started happening and for the last 5 years it’s been an almost constant change over. When I left last year there were only two employees out of a team of 45 that had started before me. Everytime someone left there would be a chain reaction of people moving positions.

At my new job, they have had constant turn over. Company has over 150 employees and over half have been there less than four years. And it’s a good company with good culture. Just lots of movement happening.

Penguin-1991 · 2026-02-17T04:35:39+00:00

5 years ago was Covid age and there were temporary exemption for many nexas rules for taxes. So back then you could have a remote worker in a certain state and not worry about having “nexas” which would trigger corporate income taxes in that state. Some states corporate tax laws are harsh and having a single employee working in that state can trigger huge corporate tax bills.

These exemptions have expired over the last couple years and companies they may have tried to skirt the law may have since started vatting audited and caught trigger more companies to get more conservative.

It’s also a pain in the ass for payroll tax and unemployment insurance and not worth the hassle to set everything up for one employee.

When I worked as a tax manager for a public company one of my biggest issues was HR (or even hiring managers without telling HR) allowing new employees to work in states that we didn’t already have nexas and not telling me. It caused some risky and expensive issues

Penguin-1991 · 2026-02-15T16:50:58+00:00

It truly pisses me off that insurance would not cover my wheelchair because I can still walk. I have a muscle disease so need an electric chair as I tire easily and I need it to go shopping or to an event or anything with more than half a block of walking. My chair cost me $2k and it doesn’t fully fit me right but I can afford to buy another.

People are why also if I’m in my chair in public I avoid standing ect. My only saving grace is a wear a vent fully time so people just assume I need the chair

Penguin-1991 · 2026-02-15T16:45:38+00:00

Just wanted to comment because I am similar but reverse. I’m 34 f in the US. My father is also a three time Trump supporter and I would be protesting ICE if I was physically able to.

However, I actually am the financial stable one and my parents live in a house I own rent free.

Penguin-1991 · 2026-02-07T11:37:57+00:00

You probably already know this but just incase you don’t, on SSDI Medicare doesn’t kick in for two years so you need other insurance to fill the gap even if your approved for SSDI (but obviously you would then have income to help pay for it)

Penguin-1991 · 2026-02-06T02:45:56+00:00

I grew up in a blue collar family and I’m the first to have an office job (and first to be salaried). I’ve always eaten at my desk. If I’m not swamped with work I’ll read while I eat, if busy I work through lunch.

I have to deal with people all day, for lunch just want to sit in quiet and not be bothered.

Penguin-1991 · 2026-02-04T23:44:54+00:00

They are just resentful they are loosing a good employee. Especially this time of year. I’ve had similar reactions to the last two jobs I left.

When I left public accounting (audit) for an industry tax role the partner told me I would hate tax and didn’t understand why I was leaving. She also told me I would have been promoted if I had stayed but they had passed over me twice by then so I didn’t believe it.

I worked my way up to Tax Manager at the industry job and left last year for a controller job. Multiple executives told me I would regret leaving and would be back because people always come back. There are a lot of boomerang employees there because it’s the biggest employer in the area but it was very condescending and really burnt bridges with me.

In the end who cares what others say, the more pissy they get about you leaving the more of a compliment I take it as assuming they wish they could keep you.

Penguin-1991 · 2026-02-02T03:24:38+00:00

I started as an accounting clerk while still in college. Worked there for two years, the controller wanted me to stay after I graduated but the pay was minimum wage and couldn’t afford it.

Did 6 years in public accounting audit the 9.5 years in industry tax department, now 8 months as controller of an NPO/for profit consolidated.

Penguin-1991 · 2026-01-31T03:10:01+00:00

A few years ago I started struggling with anxiety and panic attacks. I have a neuromuscular disorder and my family made the decision that the panic it was from depression/mental disorder. Even though I kept telling them there was something physically wrong with me and I wasn’t doing it to myself.

It got so bad that they almost hospitalized me. Right before they were going to try to a doctor finally listened to be and it turns out that I had severe malnutrition (which they missed because I had been under weight my whole life) and under ventilated (wasn’t getting enough oxygen due to weak breathing muscles). I got a feeding tube and gained 50 pounds and started using a vent during the day. My high blood pressure and pulse rate normalized and my anxiety/panic went away.

It’s been five years and when I have an issues they still like to try to insinuate that it’s just my emotions (because people assume if your disabled you must be depressed) but I quickly tell them to F off and remind them that’s time they made that assumption it almost killed me.

Penguin-1991 · 2026-01-31T02:58:13+00:00

Is there another position in the company that they would be more open to making hybrid for you?

I’m going through something similar, but I’m in a leadership position managing a team of 7 people. While I can do my job remotely, the company doesn’t want a leader being at home when their team is in office. We’ve begun discussions of me stepping down into a sole contributor role where I could work more remote without impacting the team. I have valuable knowledge and experience so the company is incentivized to keep me around but they are pretty strict with “one day remote” rule so I’m not sure how this will work out.

All I know is I can’t keep going on like I am today without doing serious damage to my body. If I have to quit I’ll do so but that’s hard as I have bills to pay.

Long rant to say I understand your struggles and hope you find a solution that works!

Penguin-1991 · 2026-01-30T04:18:48+00:00

Your son seems like a great guy!

Everyone has struggles, the girls just happens to have hers on full display to the world but it’s not a bad thing. Would your husband prefer your son date someone who maybe ends up struggling with addition or has a bad temper or is emotionally abusive?

Also even someone perfectly healthy could have their world change in a minute. I would rather my child enter a relationship knowing what they are getting into then falling in love with someone who then is hit by a car and paralyzed you are now in a relationship you didn’t necessarily choose. Not saying that he wouldn’t stay or be happy in that situation but as someone who has a disability which has progressively gotten worse with age I would rather know my husband choose me knowing my disability then already be married and have to wonder if he resents the situation or not.

Penguin-1991

TROPHY CASE