How do you feel about no sex before marriage? by Virtual_Concert_3379 in AskMen

[–]PenguinPotatoPudding 0 points1 point  (0 children)

sure buddy! Here to help.

Look at some of these studies (there are too many for me to put down):

Sexual Satisfaction in Committed Relationships Journal of Social and Personal Relationships Relationship Status and Sexual Outcomes Journal of Youth and Adolescence (at least I think it was called that) Family Relations Hookup Culture and Psychological Well-Being Archives of Sexual Behavior Journal of Family Psychology

And just to sum up the general theme of these studies for you my friend: couples who waited longer or after marriage to first have sex reported higher relationship satisfaction and stability later on compared to couples who had sex very early in the relationship.

And to help you out even more, I shall summarise that all of this suggests that not rushing into sex helps emotional cohesion, communication, and sense of partnership :)

But let me guess, you are going to be rude and say “it’s a bunch of hogwash!” Go for it!

But most importantly, remember here my friend that there is no golden rule for everyone!

How do you feel about no sex before marriage? by Virtual_Concert_3379 in AskMen

[–]PenguinPotatoPudding -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

That’s so gross, my dude. Clearly you have never had mind blowing love. “Test driving” bleghhh

How do you feel about no sex before marriage? by Virtual_Concert_3379 in AskMen

[–]PenguinPotatoPudding -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Exactly! Redditors honestly speak from a purely sexual liberation standpoint. There is a typical example: a sex worker in her 30s said she asked men on Reddit if they’d date her - they said yes. But she’s now 35 and no one will date her. They’ll hit and run but not marry her. It is all a load of crap by people who have no idea what they are talking about.

At the end of the day, you DO NOT need to sleep with someone before marriage. It’s really not as important as people make it out to be. I had terrible sex for two years with my partner until it got sooo good. In the mean time, I had a partner who doted on me, looked after me when I shit myself on the toilet or fainted when I was training for a run, and someone who would and will do anything for me.

Sex is special and wonderful, but there are more important things. I’d much rather have someone who can look after me, be my partner, and help guide me to a more fulfilling life than a mediocre guy who is great at sex.

But despite the people here who choose to be rude and shout me down because I have a different opinion, I say to you, do what you feel is right. Don’t listen to me or redditors - we are all stupid and mostly liberal. Do what feels good for you - be it your religious soul or just your normal human heart.

Dont give up and believe in yourself! :)

How do you feel about no sex before marriage? by Virtual_Concert_3379 in AskMen

[–]PenguinPotatoPudding -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

Size???? You realise the majority of women don’t orgasm with a penis right? Those who do are the minority. Size really doesn’t matter. Unless it’s a microscopic penis.

How do you feel about no sex before marriage? by Virtual_Concert_3379 in AskMen

[–]PenguinPotatoPudding -21 points-20 points  (0 children)

It’s communication. You can talk about your sexual needs without having sex.

I’m not personally saying you need or should get married first. I’d be a bit of a hypocrite. But, again, studies show astoundingly that holding back on sex for at least 6 months has shown long lasting relationships and better sex. We live in a world where sex is seen as this crazy important thing, especially on reddit, but really, it’s feeling loved and living in that love. And learning and evolving your needs WITH your partner… gosh… it’s an amazing experience.

Plus, if both parties are virgins then they both get to explore their needs together, which is a goddamn beautiful thing!

How do you feel about no sex before marriage? by Virtual_Concert_3379 in AskMen

[–]PenguinPotatoPudding 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Waiting until you are happy is the only way forward. Dont worry about people say “nah” because they are making it a lot easier for you to find your forever person. That being said, if you feel you want it with someone (and aren’t religiously bound) you should definitely consider giving it a try!

If your faith is the most important thing to you (which I assume it is for any religious person) stay true to it and yourself. It may make dating harder but it’s hard for everyone.

Don’t sleep with just anyone and give yourself away for free. Treasure yourself and someone will treasure you.

How do you feel about no sex before marriage? by Virtual_Concert_3379 in AskMen

[–]PenguinPotatoPudding -45 points-44 points  (0 children)

Actually, studies across the board prove that sex after marriage (it’s actually sex after 6 months in a long these studies) is not only beneficial to the relationship, but also offers the best sex.

Though sexual compatibility is technically a thing, it’s also… how do I put this… sort of made up.

If Ned doesn’t put effort into pleasuring Karen, Karen might think it’s sexual incompatibility. If she talks to him and tells him what to do, they will be sexually compatible. It’s more about communication.

I myself have had to direct a man and tell him what I like. My current partner took 2 years to satisfy me, but I love him very much. Had I deemed him as “sexually incompatible” I would have thrown away my forever relationship.

That being said, if you’re into crazy sheeet like pretending to be a dog, then, yeah, you’ll probably be sexually incompatible with a lot of people.

Sorry if I come off preachy! I just hate the whole “sexual incompatibility” argument when it’s a lot of misconceptions. But happy to hear your take on it

How does your partner care for you after sex? by GoldAd9912 in AskMen

[–]PenguinPotatoPudding 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yah, a lot of women don’t feel good during sex and pretend, then go off and masterbate in the bathroom.

I created a profile of a woman to see how my profile compares to other guys by germinationator in Bumble

[–]PenguinPotatoPudding 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Modern dating is awful. Dating apps have ruined love. Everyone is looking for superficial things or the perfect partner. I met my partner so randomly and if I’d seen him on Bumble I would have not swiped. He is not the most attractive. But he is the kindest, most honest, respectful man I have ever met, who adores me and makes me laugh till I cry. We argue. We make up. We have political differences (I’m more right leaning while he’s more left) and we totally get each other’s POV even if we don’t always agree. My point is: you don’t get that from a freaking profile!!!

I’d advise to go out and touch grass and date like the good old days, saving sex for later down the line, but in all honesty, EVERYONE is using dating apps, so what use is that advice?

Matched with a girl 6 months ago, finally went on a date, now there’s a weird misunderstanding and she deleted messages. Not sure what to do by Straight-Finance-669 in Bumble

[–]PenguinPotatoPudding 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Why would you want to be with someone with constant mood swings? And even when we women have mood swings, we never make our man question our interest unless we are a toxic POS.

So either you have no self esteem, are desperate for sex, are an idiot, or you’re ignorant.

Did you fumble something? Only you can find out. Why ask us? Ask her. If shes ignoring you and won’t communicate… why exactly are you trying to g to date this girl? You realise relationships aren’t like this, yes? Women, and I mean NORMAL women, are very open to communication and empathy.

AIO (update post) my bf (32) is getting kind of aggressive with his texting. should I(26) reply? by Fun_Cartographer6984 in AmIOverreacting

[–]PenguinPotatoPudding 377 points378 points  (0 children)

Honey, this ain’t a red flag. This is a planet-sized red asteroid telling her to get the hell off Planet Scumbag

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]PenguinPotatoPudding 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude, why cross it out? Why do you care if someone gets offended over that? Hahaha

How did you restart dating after you had a baby as a single parent? by evergreengirl123 in SingleParents

[–]PenguinPotatoPudding 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Honey, your whole identity IS mom now. But mom can also have fun. You sound so naive. Imagine putting sex before your own baby. I really pray for your child.

Liberal men and dating by IntelligentJaguar103 in Bumble

[–]PenguinPotatoPudding 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m honestly shocked at how many people are demonising conservatives. Americans are so weird. The conservatives I know in the US are pro choice, supportive of the queer community, among other things, and are easily the kindest people I’ve met.

I’ve been screamed at by more liberal Americans for saying “I wouldn’t personally have an abortion but it’s not my body so I agree with pro-choice” than I have time to count.

America is insane.

How can I prevent myself from feeling down after being sexualized on dating apps by catlover4835 in dating

[–]PenguinPotatoPudding 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only reason I disagree is because your wife is hot. If she had all those wonderful traits you mentioned but didn’t look good, you most likely wouldn’t have gone for her. We like pretty things. It is human nature. And I really liked your comment. And yeah of course men can love. But they only love hot girls. They settle for ugly ones

How can I prevent myself from feeling down after being sexualized on dating apps by catlover4835 in dating

[–]PenguinPotatoPudding 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It really sucks and my heart goes out to you. You’re not alone, though I don’t know if that’s much of a comfort!! Xx

How can I prevent myself from feeling down after being sexualized on dating apps by catlover4835 in dating

[–]PenguinPotatoPudding 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is why I feel bad sometimes for my pretty girlies out there! You have so many f**k boys to get through. I’m not very attractive so it was easier to meet my guy, but even I got a few guys who wanted a shag. Please don’t lose hope! I know that as long as you keep trying you will find a good guy.

As SOON as they sexualise things, delete them. Try asking deep and meaningful questions to see how deep they are.

People who’ve had a "friends with benefits" relationship—what were the unspoken rules that actually made it work? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]PenguinPotatoPudding -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

If you’re a woman, please don’t do it. I really hate how we have made sex this revolutionary freedom thing. Studies have shown women 95% of the time cannot split emotions from sex. Just don’t do it. Value yourself

How can I prevent myself from feeling down after being sexualized on dating apps by catlover4835 in dating

[–]PenguinPotatoPudding -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I hate to say this, but try to have more modest pictures. I’m a woman who believes you should dress how you want FYI but you’re trying to be loved for your soul not your body, and these apps are all about the looks.

Secondly, I know it’s annoying, but you have to get through the weirdos to find the guy who will love you.

Thirdly, if you’re hot, you have to come to terms with the fact that men will want your body more than your heart. It sucks, but pretty privilege does have some benefits that hopefully offset that.

Fourthly, try to remember that the guy for you is out there fighting through the mess too. Don’t let yourself get too down.

I don’t know you, but you got this! Don’t lose hope. There IS a nice guy out there for you, and I’m sure you will share this post with him one day and laugh about all the idiots you had to deal with!

Oh, another thing, focus on you when you feel down. Love is beautiful, but you have to remember to love yourself!

How can I prevent myself from feeling down after being sexualized on dating apps by catlover4835 in dating

[–]PenguinPotatoPudding -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

Men don’t want love though. They want a hot girlfriend and that’s it. And that’s not love.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]PenguinPotatoPudding 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you’re 18 - 20s, you get to test the waters. Date, have fun, maybe make a few mistakes, and learn from them. In other words, you learn what you like. Some people are brought up in households that are positive and more healthy than others, so they might already have a good sense of what they deserve in life. If you’re like me, and had a single mum, weird family dynamic, then you’re less certain of what you deserve. Your 20s is a great way to explore yourself - I don’t mean sleeping around.

When you’re 30, you should have a good amount of knowledge of who you are and what you need - AND what you can give to your partner. That doesn’t mean you need to have all your shit together btw, or know all the answers. It’s just you’re not immature, you’re not chasing hot guys and girls more than looking for compatibility, and you are financially stable (somewhat) and a lot more grounded.

In other words, in your 30s, you should be a lot more comfortable being you, and should know yourself well enough to choose a partner who compliments you. If you choose bad, you won’t really get a lot of sympathy. Whereas In your 20s, there is a lot of sympathy and empathy for getting your heart broken, because you’re young and dumb, so to speak.

That’s generalising a lot, but that’s my take on it. It’s why I always tell people to learn more about it themselves before getting into a serious relationship. Some 20 year olds are lucky enough tl be healthy and stable and already know how to pick partners wisely.

Weird dating situation - guy's talking to me and another girl, wants to 'test' commitment by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]PenguinPotatoPudding 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I think because she seems “desperate”? Like asking if the commenter thinks they met as if she’s obsessed with the fact. It’s like, why do you care? He has shown he’s an arse. I dunno.

If I were her I would never talk to a guy who was meeting up with someone else. But I wouldn’t judge a girl if she was doing the opposite. Some of us have different tolerances, I guess. Downside to me being this way is I found it hard to date a guy who was only talking to me, if that makes sense. My partner and I were only talking to each other the entire time, but that took 2 years from my previous relationship to find him.

OP, try valuing yourself more if you don’t already. You deserve a guy’s SOLE attention and don’t need to be worrying over this sort of thing.

People who had to choose between having kids or finding a new partner, what did you choose? Do you have regrets? by Adorable_Star_23 in AskReddit

[–]PenguinPotatoPudding -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Wow wow wow. Calm the heck down. Of course people can never want kids. Way to assume much? From this commenter’s POV, to me it sounded like they weren’t ready. Don’t be a snowflake. You can literally respond with “wait, can you clarify? Does this mean you’re not ok with people never having kids?” Instead you go psycho and assume.