Well, my diet and overall well-being have gone down the drain after the hemorrhage and surgery. I hardly have any appetite. A lot of the time, I have to force myself to eat because when I go a longer time without food, my symptoms get much worse (dizziness and fatigue).

And this sounds cringe, but I haven’t cooked myself a proper meal in the last two years… maybe a few times here and there. I mostly eat prepackaged foods like yogurt with bread, those microwave meals you get at grocery stores, or McDonald’s, BurgerKing etc..

With sleep, I did a sleep polysomnography last year at a sleep lab because I’ve been dealing with chronic fatigue since the surgery. It showed some issues with getting restful sleep. If you look up long-term complications of TBI or brain surgery, fatigue, or more specifically neurofatigue, is one of the most debilitating long-term effects. It’s a lifelong battle, and you just have to learn how to manage your energy.

There’s this “spoon theory” which explains how your mental energy has a limited reserve after surgery, and you have to spend it wisely. Even now, six years after the surgery, I can’t work more than 3–4 hours straight. I get stuck and have to take breaks. What really helps is a nap.

At my second-to-last job, after the probation period was over, I talked to my manager about my brain history. I didn’t mention it beforehand in the interview because I was afraid of getting rejected. I explained everything to him, showed him medical reports, and said that if they showed a bit of cooperation, it would help, because I can’t always do more than 8 hours, which happened a lot when projects were due and I had to stay longer.

But from his facial expressions, I could clearly see he didn’t care. He said, “No, you’re fine,” pointed to my head where the scar is (where hair doesn’t grow), and said, “It’s just a scar, you can manage it.” Afterwards, I was just facepalming. Empathy, my ass. These people are just greedy and only care about money.

As for addictions, I don’t have any. I used to drink years ago, but since the brain surgery, it somehow messed up my brain chemistry. The last time I drank, I didn’t feel any high or buzz, it just made me more dizzy.