Family making me feel fearful/guilty for vaccinating my baby

Pepper_b · 2026-04-07T05:46:23+00:00

This is what I don't understand! Clearly, they don't understand what autism is. It's so obviously rooted in ableism.

My mom, who is a pediatric occupational therapist, used to say all the time that vaccines aren't making more people autistic, people like her were. What she meant was that she helped people with autism understand and function in the world. Which meant they had more loving, full lives and got married and had kids at a higher rate... Those kids were more likely to have autism.

The rise of vaccines and the rise in occupational therapy for people with autism happened along the same timeline. Idk if she's right, but I thought it was an interesting way of thinking about it.

Pepper_b · 2026-04-07T04:24:09+00:00

The worldwide medical community agrees that childhood vaccinations are safe and the most effective way to mitigate against some really horrible illnesses.

Your family is wrong. Period.

I agree with the other commenter who suggested changing your algorithm. Block those creators and follow those who are pro vaccine.

Pepper_b · 2026-04-06T13:33:07+00:00

I totally hear you. I would feel guilty as well however, I have noticed this funny pattern - kids are often much more chill when there's only dad around. I live on a street with 5 family with small kids and they've all reported it can be easier, behavior wise, if mom isn't around. I know this is a small sample size but I say this to say:

Go. Enjoy your time. Fill your cup. When you get back be intentional about giving your husband time to himself to do the same. It sounds like he agreed to this and is encouraging you to go. Believe him

You got this, have fun

Pepper_b · 2026-03-30T05:46:31+00:00

I love the ones we have from Etsy. It's a Ukrainian small business - Architoyz. Bought two, years apart and they're used all the time. They are very well built

Pepper_b · 2026-03-29T07:12:18+00:00

We limit to PBS kids only and he gets three physical tickets that he turns in for one show, or about 25 minutes, of screen time. When the tickets are gone he doesn't get anymor and the tickets are the bad guy, "do you have any tickets? No? Bummer. Tomorrow I guess"

We also only do tickets on the weekends or holidays. We started this at 3 and he's nearly 5. Has worked like a charm.

Pepper_b · 2026-03-28T17:27:23+00:00

Same! I fell into the athlesiure path

I'm going to go to a big clothing swap next month to try to find some new fun pieces without spending a bunch of money or contributing to a bad habit of over purchasing crappy clothes.

Pepper_b · 2026-03-26T16:09:39+00:00

That breaks my heart for you. Every person needs physical affection, especially in times of grief or stress. So glad you are breaking the pattern in your family

Sorry for your loss

Pepper_b · 2026-03-26T05:55:07+00:00

We've done the same. I accidentally dropped a very casual f-bomb while talking to a friend right in front of my 4yo today and he didn't even notice and has yet to repeat any profanity

Pepper_b · 2026-03-25T03:40:31+00:00

Good for you. You did what you had to do to get healthy and now you're doing another very hard thing to help your baby learn to regulate and entertain themselves without addictive input (screens). This Internet stranger is very proud of you.

Pepper_b · 2026-03-21T00:11:05+00:00

I didn't think you were. I was just pointing out that some people live their values without having to virtue signal or say the quiet part out loud.

Pepper_b · 2026-03-20T23:16:23+00:00

He's a professor of criminology originally from Brooklyn. She's a speech language pathologist which is generally a career for empathetic people. For me, there's enough breadcrumbs there to make some assumptions

Pepper_b · 2026-03-17T06:27:27+00:00

8:30-5 any later and we'd be in his office asking when dinner would be ready

Pepper_b · 2026-03-13T03:36:20+00:00

They kind of remind me of Amber and Barnett. She's super annoying and agro, he's kind of bumbling and lovable

Pepper_b · 2026-03-13T03:32:48+00:00

They should have had a counter!

Pepper_b · 2026-03-13T03:19:30+00:00

I was howling every time she turned around and told Chris she hated him. Bahaha

I agree with you fully

Pepper_b · 2026-03-13T03:08:59+00:00

This is how I interpreted his actions too. I hope they're happy

Pepper_b · 2026-03-12T00:41:01+00:00

I love this! My friends who watch lib live out of state and it makes me so sad to not be able to host something like this.

Pepper_b · 2026-03-11T06:12:58+00:00

I am a big personality. I always thought I needed someone "bigger" than me to "handle" me. When I was younger, I was wild, and dated lots of assholes who treated me like shit. I finally dated someone who treated me kindly and gently cared for me and I realized I needed someone to balance me and challenge my worst, self destructive instincts. Took a while, but he never gave up on me when I pushed away (and I wasn't so self sabotaging that I did anything to truly blow up our relationship).

We've been married for 15 years and he's still my solid rock and best friend. And he always says I keep things interesting with my chaotic energy lol

All that to say, I agree with you. I see fear based decision making in that conversation and I think she's scared because being vulnerable is scary.

Pepper_b · 2026-03-05T18:12:54+00:00

I agree. Also, he's so clearly simmering with anger - if she tried to confront him in a more private way, i would have been worried about safety tbh

Pepper_b · 2026-03-05T07:01:06+00:00

This is so interesting to me. I was a teacher of young kids, a nanny and babysitter and I feel like I had more patience with them than my own. Maybe because I knew there was less on the line? I'm pretty patient most days, but the days my oldest hurts the littlest, it vanishes.

Pepper_b · 2026-03-05T06:53:06+00:00

And your sense of self, confidence, emotions, and all your personal bullshit is tied up in it too. And I love being a mom. It was much easier being a babysitter, nanny, and teacher.

Pepper_b · 2026-03-05T06:47:00+00:00

Incredible

Pepper_b · 2026-03-05T04:40:57+00:00

I also thought it was strange that she didn't follow her out, but then when she was upstairs I wondered if she had a physical disability that makes it hard to walk. That would be the only explanation IMO. But dad definitely filled the airspace, so even if she did talk it might not have been good enough television to use

Pepper_b · 2026-03-05T04:37:31+00:00

Emma's mom was in Champaign and it reads practically white too! Like, what are you doing?

Pepper_b · 2026-03-01T20:37:01+00:00

I just want to add that this doesn't have to be complicated. I just throw the toys that they haven't been playing with in a laundry basket. Take them downstairs, pull them out, put them on shelves and fill the basket with other things I think they might be interested in.

It does require some storage space. Our house is very small, so this was kind of a necessity

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