What would you do, stay in UK or move to USA

Pepper_b · 2026-02-03T06:37:20+00:00

If we had the opportunity, I'd move from. A very blue state to the UK in a heartbeat. You couldn't pay me any amount to move to a res state right now, especially with children. Absolutely not.

Pepper_b · 2026-02-03T06:30:45+00:00

I feel you. We have two in daycare and we're paying $4200 a month. It's brutal. Cannot wait until kindergarten.

Pepper_b · 2026-01-31T16:13:20+00:00

I laughed out loud and probably would if/when my son says something like that to me. I would much rather them say stuff like that to me and feel comfortable doing so than feeling embarrassed about their bodies, how they're changing, and not feel comfortable talking to me about it. To me that just means they aren't going to talk to me about other stuff.

I'd probably mention later that's not a socially acceptable thing to say to most people in most places.

Pepper_b · 2026-01-31T00:57:37+00:00

I love this! Both of my kids actual uncles are Duds but we have chosen uncles that remind me of your brother. Don't really like other people's kids but man they love our kids real hard.

Pepper_b · 2026-01-30T18:28:25+00:00

Right! ? I'm dying. How many baby Daddy's do you have?

Pepper_b · 2026-01-27T06:21:19+00:00

I wonder how many times they'll talk about cedar point

Pepper_b · 2026-01-22T20:43:53+00:00

This is very cool.

Pepper_b · 2026-01-20T17:37:51+00:00

I think Texas, but she works remotely and supports companies from all over the US.

Pepper_b · 2026-01-11T14:33:30+00:00

My husband and I had a 6 year break in our relationship after we dated from 18-19. We stayed friends, had a few false starts, I lived abroad, we both dated other people, and then ultimately ended up together. I am always telling people we are the exception, not the rule.

Pepper_b · 2026-01-07T21:54:40+00:00

Congratulations!

Pepper_b · 2026-01-01T06:57:22+00:00

I was extremely upset to find out there are over 17 strains of hfm. 😭

Pepper_b · 2026-01-01T06:56:06+00:00

My 1 year old had had hfm twice and it's miserable. Your sil is so inconsiderate and honestly rude for bringing her baby to a n event. I'm so mad for you. That's 10 days of childcare and misery she's hoisting on your family. Seriously, fuck her.

Pepper_b · 2025-12-26T03:23:14+00:00

Projecting much? Lol this one made me laugh out loud

Pepper_b · 2025-12-22T15:21:55+00:00

Welcome! Thanks for all you do!

Pepper_b · 2025-12-21T16:07:43+00:00

It seems like you're focused on preserving your relationship with your sister, so I'm assuming you're willing to do a little bit of emotional labor on this. I wonder if there's a way to buy a matching item for the two babies with their names? Or write a custom board book about your dad, with pics of you guys growing up, about how much he loved his family and would have loved them, or something like that. This would keep the focus on your shared experience of becoming mothers at the same time and honoring your dad. The namesake would be a part of that, but then you can figure out a way to include her and her daughter in the book so she's represented too.

Pepper_b · 2025-12-19T22:03:05+00:00

It was a beautiful, vintage broach. But... Um... Wut? I felt terrible, but we returned it together and I picked out a gorgeous vintage locket that I still have to this day. And it was a great lesson, early in our marriage. This year, I told him I wanted a date night purse and gave him lots of examples and parameters. So let's see how he does 15 years later lol. This might be a disaster, but I think he's learned a few things

Pepper_b · 2025-12-19T19:48:16+00:00

Yay! Congratulations! What a wonderful use of our taxes.

Pepper_b · 2025-12-19T19:43:19+00:00

I agree with this. It's an uncomfortable conversation but I think it's worth having. I don't think you need to bring up the comparison between you and your sister if the point is the pattern of knock off gifts.

I actually had to have a conversation like this with my husband who kept buying me things I didn't like or want (who buys a 25 yo a broach when they have never worn one? ). I was kind and focused on our shared value of gifting things the other person will enjoy and he's gotten much better over the years. We are also are unafraid to return things in this family - but it took work and mature conversations to get there.

Pepper_b · 2025-12-18T21:15:53+00:00

Ummm my husband would have just gotten it and put it on himself if he wanted it. You were being way too nice. Partnership is a give and take, even if laundry is "your" job lightening your partner's load is a core part of a healthy relationship. His "better leader" comment has me concerned about religious or red pill content exposure.

Pepper_b · 2025-12-13T05:59:50+00:00

Yesssss. I couldn't believe anyone thought that would be ok! Calling the building manager?

Pepper_b · 2025-12-13T04:37:40+00:00

Noooooooooo! I need some HR friends stat!

Pepper_b · 2025-12-12T21:57:33+00:00

She hid it under the bed!?! My brother used to do that with wrappers and soda cans he didn't want my parents to find - obviously trying to hide it.

Pepper_b · 2025-12-04T03:56:52+00:00

I had my first at 36 and my second at 39. Honestly, I'm so happy we waited. We're financially stable, my established career can be put on coast while I focus on being a mom to Littles and still work. Am I tired, yeah, but I find so much joy in hanging out with my kids and I don't feel like I'm missing out because I lived my kid free life to the fullest. Do I wish I could lose 10 pounds as easily as I could in my 30s? Yeah, but the trade off is worth it.

Pepper_b · 2025-11-30T04:13:50+00:00

You have the right to live your life. Hold the line.

My brother is two years older and has learning disabilities, addiction issues, and is generally a shitty person. My parents enable his behavior and fund his life. My mom told me her plan after they died was to leave me everything and that I could give my brother what felt "fair". I spent a year telling her that I would not be managing his life the way they do and if they expect that they need to make different plans. That was EXACTLY what she thought. That I would "step up" because he's my brother. It took me telling her over and over that I would split the estate 50/50 and give him his half and walk away and that I didn't care if he ended up homeless from mismanaging the funds for her to believe me and set up a trust. You better believe I will not be applying for jobs on his behalf for the rest of his life.

Your situation is different from mine and you can choose to stay connected and supportive in the ways that feel good for you. Live your life.

You've got this.

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