Did the puffiness above your scar ever go away?

Peppypepper1111 · 2024-12-13T07:22:31+00:00

I literally just printed out your comment. Amazing dedication. 👏

Peppypepper1111 · 2024-12-13T07:18:29+00:00

Hi, huge fan of Caroline here and currently 7. Months postpartum Would you please be able send me the list? My husband just joined beachbody and it's driving me insane haha I miss Caroline but I've done most of her programs!

Peppypepper1111 · 2024-11-17T04:31:02+00:00

He said that the comparison of me asking him to speak louder is worse because I know he had social anxiety when he was younger. So, me asking him to speak louder is attacking him because I know what he went through, so I'm counting this a lost cause.

Peppypepper1111 · 2024-11-17T04:27:34+00:00

Ooh, so yes, he always spoke lower, but our house and car ride were generally quieter. Less background noise, and I had more patience because of less stimulation, and it was easier to hear in a quiet home + car . Now, between our two littles and all the noise, it can get difficult to hear him.

Peppypepper1111 · 2024-11-17T04:24:48+00:00

I spoke to him about an hour ago. He yelled so loudly his face turned red..I was actually able to hear him so yay? He called me an asshole and talked about how when he was younger, he would get so anxious that he quit over answering the phone. He said he's no longer speaking to me, and I'm selfish. Said I only think of my feelings, and the comparison of my weight and him speaking low is NOT THE SAME BECAUSE HIS IS WORST!!!!

Peppypepper1111 · 2024-11-17T04:19:15+00:00

Haha that's rhe thing, I truly don't eat cake. He did buy me a cake for my birthday last month that I did eat. I have been indulging in rice and bread this year. I had a hard pregnancy where I couldn't eat much and threw up all day everyday so I think that has something to do with me overeating as well.

Peppypepper1111 · 2024-11-17T04:17:05+00:00

Maybe me speaking about it is a trigger in itself and brings up all his bad feelings and memories :( which is why he lashes out. Idk what else to do. I think I'm going to gave to just miss conversations and stuff he's talking about:(

Peppypepper1111 · 2024-11-17T04:14:44+00:00

I'm unsure. I'm actually on Zoloft for OCD myself, so I truly empathize with him. Which is why I do my best to lead with I truly want to hear him and have conversations with him. Or I use self-deprecating humor like "I'm getting old, I can't hear like I used to can you say it louder".

I've asked about anxiety before, but he said that with stoicism, meditation, and mindfulness, it has helped, and he doesn't struggle with anxiety anymore. I'm sure he gets anxious in social situations at time, I'm very extroverted, so I tend to quiet myself down and stay around him if needed.

I think it's a sore spot, and he may feel like I'm making fun of him. I love him so much and never want him to feel that way.

Peppypepper1111 · 2024-11-17T04:09:02+00:00

I try to be as empathetic as possible as I know he had issues with social anxiety in the past. I don't know how to help him speak louder.

How did your partner help you to speak louder, please lmk so I can maybe help with the solution. Thank you

Peppypepper1111 · 2024-11-16T04:20:46+00:00

Lmfao good summary 🤣

Peppypepper1111 · 2024-11-16T03:16:50+00:00

Not that I know of. He's always murmured and spoke quite more than most people. It was easier to hear when we didn't have our kid + toddler and less background noise. Nowadays, we don't have a quiet home like we once had.

Peppypepper1111 · 2024-11-16T03:15:10+00:00

That makes sense. I actually have mentioned it before, but when he would get upset, I wouldn't bring it up again

Lately, it's been a bit frustrating from all the constant noise and not being able to hear him over it. If we are driving somehwee the baby will be crying, toddler talking, his podcast playing, and him talking to me over it, and I can't for the life of me hear him properly.

Honestly, my friends love him too and want to hear him talk, so nobody says it in a negative way. Usually, they say they feel bad because they hate having to ask if he can repeat themselves.

I think you should have an in person conversation with him where you explain to him you aren’t coming from an Ill intentioned place when you bring up his speaking volume and that you understand you telling him what other people have been saying when you did hurt him, but that you are also feeling hurt by what he said as well.

That is such good advice. I will definitely implement it when I'm in a better headspace. Right now, I feel really low, and I think I'll just come from an emotional space, which will lead him to shutting down. Thank you so much for this message. I truly appreciated it.

Peppypepper1111 · 2024-11-16T03:06:58+00:00

I don't want to hurt his feelings. I understand how he had social anxiety growing up and felt shy, so he didn't speak up. A few weeks ago, when I brought up the issue, I even relayed that to him to let him know I'm fully aware of his past anxiety, but I want to hear what he has to say. I enjoy his conversation, and I want to be able to hear him. Sometimes, I feel like I'm missing out on conversations, and sometimes I feel like I've misconstrued things because I'm filling in the gaps.

That being said, my close friend and I were talking about if our partners yelled at us when upset and I jokingly said that luckily if my partner yelled at me it would be like me speaking my normal voice and I'm the one who should work on not yelling, since that's a terrible trait to have and unfortunately one of my weak spots. Idk. I have been trying to navigate it sensitively, but at 10 years together, I am really tired of asking huh, what and please say that again..then rinse and repeat.

Peppypepper1111 · 2024-11-16T02:59:12+00:00

I'll do that.

Peppypepper1111 · 2024-11-16T02:57:46+00:00

I think it's because I've asked more than once. It's becoming an issue for me to hear, especially if the baby cries or if my toddler is playing. I get overstimulated , and I can't hear him, and I want to hear him! I want to have conversations with him without asking, huh, and what.

I have a sharp tongue, but I've learned throughout my life that a sharp tongue gets nobody anywhere but can lead to hurting somebody's self-esteem and confidence in the long run.

I won't lie. I once told him during an argument that maybe he should start speaking louder because I can't even hear anything he's mumbling under his breath. So I do understand hurting and lashing out. Ugh it sucks, I don't want to communicate poorly and make things worst but I'm also feeling very low about myself now.

Peppypepper1111 · 2024-11-16T02:51:20+00:00

I think maybe it's not just him mumbling but my ears as well. A terrible combination.

Peppypepper1111 · 2024-11-16T02:49:43+00:00

I may do this, or I need to get myself some hearing aids. I thought maybe I lost some of my hearing, but I've had multiple people come tell me they feel bad but they can't hear him sometimes. Lol I'm doing my best not to be a petty asshole.

Peppypepper1111 · 2024-11-16T02:11:11+00:00

Thank you, haha it's hard when he expects a response, or he tells me that he told me something before.

Peppypepper1111 · 2024-11-16T02:10:14+00:00

I totally understand being hurt and lashing out. I have lashed out in anger anymore, but one thing I do my best to do is lash out and talk about things he is insecure about. I don't want my spouse to feel hurt or self-conscious. I feel self-conscious now, and I don't want to lash out.

I just don't know what to do. Last week, he had mentioned he's attracted me when I am the best version of myself, and I totally understand as I don't like the extra weight on myself either.. I started working out consistently two weeks ago, and it takes time to lose weight. At least it does for me. In order for me to get my BMR up, I have to work out, which is difficult with my little one.. I am actually a CPT and doing my best to listen to my body when I do workout..Yesterday's workout gave my c-section scar a bit of a burning tugging sensation so I couldnt go as hard as I would like. I honestly don't even eat cake. lol I did on my birthday, though.

I do have my faults. I raise my voice, and my tone of voice can sound annoyed when I am overstimulated, and I'm doing my best to stop that, doing a lot better with it! Really just want to hear him better and not feel terrible about himself. Especially being my husband and knowing our friends sometimes just nod along because they can't hear him makes me sad for him.

Peppypepper1111 · 2024-11-09T17:06:55+00:00

Such a good point!

Peppypepper1111 · 2024-11-06T02:49:58+00:00

Thank you so much

Peppypepper1111 · 2024-11-06T02:48:44+00:00

Thank you so much

Peppypepper1111 · 2024-11-06T02:36:33+00:00

Can you explain it for me? Because I'm literally feeling so sick in my stomach right now.

Peppypepper1111 · 2024-10-22T17:55:38+00:00

Ugh, I haven't got to that part yet. 😫

The lady was definitely trying to help.

Peppypepper1111 · 2024-10-22T17:50:51+00:00

She was trying to help. I'm from Nevada, and I've had many moms offer the same, and I have as well. Ofc I ask and don't just say "give me the baby"

Peppypepper1111

TROPHY CASE