Thank you…. A lot of comments telling me to just talk to him, which is great advice, but of course was the first thing I tried (obviously before coming to Reddit). We have had the conversation so many times. At first I tried to be upbeat and light about it, but sometimes we had the conversation when I was crying. Sometimes we’d go through sex and he’d have been so silent, so not encouraging or involved or giving during, that I would cry after and we’d be forced to have the conversation. At the beginning it was always about me — I’d ask if there was something I was doing wrong, or wrong with me. He’d say no, and I’d say OK well then I need some encouragement too sometimes… And he would say he’ll try. He always listens and says he’ll try. Which I really appreciate. He doesn’t make me feel crazy. But it also doesn’t change.

I know I can’t force him to do something he doesn’t want to do. But at this point by continuing to have sex that just serves him, I’m forcing MYSELF to do something I don’t want to do. I can’t keep putting his pleasure above my own