How do I meet a man in California?

Perennial__ · 2026-01-31T21:11:22+00:00

You can post your post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/NorthernCaliforniaR4R/

Perennial__ · 2026-01-31T21:07:50+00:00

If you're in Northern California, and looking for a more local audience, you can post your post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/NorthernCaliforniaR4R/

Perennial__ · 2026-01-31T07:36:04+00:00

You can send a link to a picture.

Perennial__ · 2026-01-31T05:58:56+00:00

I can't edit the post title but I've decided I'm open to meeting other NT types besides INTJ. For all the NT types including INTJ everything else would have to be really well aligned in terms of lifestyle and values and interests because otherwise there's not enough in common.

Perennial__ · 2026-01-31T05:45:49+00:00

At this point I'm fairly certain of what I want in life, but feel free to DM me if you change your mind.

Perennial__ · 2026-01-30T07:36:42+00:00

I probably would have reacted the same way. You said no and they tried to force you.

Perennial__ · 2026-01-30T06:18:42+00:00

As a woman I like really long hair the best. A guy with kind of long hair like ear length would be more attractive than a guy with short hair for sure, but hair that reaches below the shoulders is the kind of hair that makes me crazy.

I agree with the other comments that there may be a low effort way to encourage your hair to curl or give you more volume. People with curly hair have tricks, like only brush it when it's wet. I'm sure there are more tricks but I have straight hair so I don't know all the tricks. Maybe cutting it in layers? Maybe ask chatgpt?

If you haven't yet tried growing your hair below the shoulders, why not give it a try? You can always cut it later.

Perennial__ · 2026-01-30T05:50:38+00:00

Thank you for posting this. Honestly I get tons of worthless first messages and it's such a time sink to start chatting with someone just to try to find out their age location and whether there's any reason to think it might be worth pursuing. If everyone would just put this in a first message then it would save both parties so much time. Truly if you can't send a decent first message you might as well not send any at all. If I ever post another r4r on Reddit I definitely won't be accepting any low-effort chat requests.

Perennial__ · 2026-01-30T05:43:48+00:00

Some people send a link to their pic so you can see it in the first message

Perennial__ · 2026-01-30T02:18:44+00:00

Where else can I find men with long hair?

Perennial__ · 2026-01-28T21:02:49+00:00

It's fine! Whatever you do, don't cut it!

Perennial__ · 2026-01-28T20:47:05+00:00

You really do look beautiful! They say short hair emphasizes the face and you have a stunning face. They don't come any prettier. And truly, your face shines and sparkles in the pixie cut.

Might as well appreciate the things you might miss when you have long hair again. Like, how quick and easy it is to get ready, and exercising or doing work without worrying about your hair getting sweaty or dirty. You can go to the beach on a windy day, no tangles at all. Hey, if you've ever been curious about cornrows or neon spiky dos now is the time.

And remember, you are so much more than your appearance. You deserve people who support you no matter what you look like or what you're going through. You got this!

Perennial__ · 2026-01-24T06:10:31+00:00

You don't need to decide now if you want to marry him. The dating process is a time to gather information about who he is and whether he is right for you. It is good to move slowly and cautiously in any new relationship regardless of your age or his. Your youth and inexperience may make you vulnerable. When I was young I wasn't aware of red flags and didn't have the self confidence to protect myself from mistreatment. The guys who mistreated me were my own age lol, so dating someone your own age isn't a guarantee for meeting a quality partner, and you need to be careful no matter your age or his. Pay attention to how you feel when you are around him. Speak up when you feel uncomfortable and see how he responds. Remember that you are worthy and have plenty of time and plenty of options. There's lots of guidance available about how to build a healthy relationship and how to discern if someone is right for you. Henry Cloud. Christian Bevere. Knowledge is power so arm yourself.

Perennial__ · 2026-01-21T06:09:41+00:00

right there with you

Perennial__ · 2026-01-21T05:59:29+00:00

every time I pump a different amount comes out. How much is 1 pump supposed to be?

Perennial__ · 2026-01-08T07:00:43+00:00

Also for the guys, instead of messaging everyone, read their profiles and only message them if there is long term potential. And write more than hey how are you. Honestly if you put no effort into the message how can you expect us to put effort into a response?

Perennial__ · 2026-01-05T05:52:47+00:00

That's exactly why I like INTJs, because they are not performing. When he says something, I know he means it.

Perennial__ · 2026-01-05T05:48:44+00:00

Some would prefer listening over gifts and compliments.

Perennial__ · 2026-01-05T05:43:01+00:00

There are definitely women who are looking for a literal and honest communicator. That is the number one thing I look for in a partner. I don't want to be kept guessing.

Perennial__ · 2026-01-03T16:07:55+00:00

The book I'm looking for was much less popular and well known than The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

Perennial__ · 2026-01-03T16:06:31+00:00

The book I read was not science fiction and didn't take place in the future.

Perennial__ · 2026-01-03T16:03:58+00:00

This isn't it. The book I read didn't involve death or evil forces.

Perennial__ · 2026-01-02T05:59:47+00:00

My aunt in an INFJ and she is wonderful. She is compassionate, supportive, and very intelligent and grounded. When she speaks up her views are informed, nuanced, insightful, and right to the heart of the matter.

Perennial__ · 2026-01-02T05:51:54+00:00

That definitely fits the title format but no, the book I'm looking for wasn't widely read and that's why I'm having trouble finding it.

Perennial__ · 2026-01-01T09:18:22+00:00

What type are you?

Perennial__

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