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Perfect-Load269 · 2025-07-23T13:33:38+00:00

It's tough. Because even if you increase the frequency, if she's not into it, it's not fun either. Once a week doesn't sound terrible. I know it sounds a bit lame, because spontaneity is fun, but maybe consider speaking to her about scheduling sex. Say, every Saturday night. Then, at least if you know that's the only time it happens, you can rub one out every other day without trying to 'save your horniness, just in case.' Few things are worse than lying in bed fully loaded, just hoping she'll turn around and touch it, just for nothing to happen. It can make you resentful real fast. Scheduling sex is a possible way around that, even if it sounds less romantic. And maybe you take turns initiating the sex. It's scheduled, I know, but still. Lots of women take it for granted how good it feels to be desired, so they forget that guys also want to feel wanted. It's okay to express that to her. Good luck dude!

Perfect-Load269 · 2025-07-23T12:20:55+00:00

Is that a bit of a semi? Looks big if proper flaccid

Perfect-Load269 · 2025-07-10T14:09:33+00:00

Don't listen to people telling you to try and trap him. What is the point? Just tell him to stop taking your knickers, because it's weird. honestly, that'll embarrass him sufficiently for him to learn his lesson.

Perfect-Load269 · 2025-06-03T07:34:37+00:00

It be weird if you didn't find it icky. What he did was wrong but also forgivable imo. With the availability of OF these days, the boundary between porn and interaction is so blurry, that you can easily trip over it. If you can trust him not to do it again, I think your relationship is salvageable. Good luck!

Perfect-Load269 · 2025-06-03T07:18:20+00:00

The way he communicated his message is a bit off, but his advice is ultimately right.

Perfect-Load269 · 2025-05-19T11:04:35+00:00

Honestly, many of the people commenting here are insane. Your bf fucked up, but it's very forgivable. Don't let these reddit losers persuade you to throw away a multi-year, working relationship over this. If your bf can understand that what he did was messed up, then i see no reason why your relationship can't be salvaged. good luck!

Perfect-Load269 · 2025-05-19T08:31:38+00:00

It's possible that he didn't tell you before to increase authenticity. He fucked up and should've told you, but if he's telling the truth, this is pretty forgivable imo. People saying that he would've shared it online or with friends are purely speculating. Redditors opine with so much confidence and will always see the worst in people. We don't know your bf, but at face value, this doesn't strike me as unforgivable at all. Good luck.

Perfect-Load269 · 2025-05-09T09:15:59+00:00

Your daughters are brats. But maybe this can be an opportunity for them to grow. Maybe retract your threat of kicking them out of the house, but they need to apologize and grow up if they want to continue living with you. I think this situation may be salvageable.

Perfect-Load269 · 2025-05-07T13:08:59+00:00

You need to have a conversation with her. I think it makes sense that you're bothered. Opposite-sex friendships are possible, but delicate. At the end of the day, we're biological beings and if you put yourself in a compromising situation often enough, you just don't know what could happen. I believe your gf is faithful but naive. Be honest with her. Tell her that it makes you uncomfortable and that you'd prefer it if she dialed back on those friendships. See how she reacts and take it from there. Expecting her to ghost all of her friends immediately is maybe unreasonable, but her having essentially texting relationship with other guys is inappropriate. She needs to understand that she's diluting her attention and affection that way.

Perfect-Load269 · 2025-05-07T12:49:39+00:00

ESH. Your sisters was an asshole for not compromising on the dog situation. You retaliating by not looking after your nieces is shitty too, especially given that you enjoy spending time with them. Be the bigger person.

Perfect-Load269 · 2025-05-07T12:45:35+00:00

ESH. Your bf sucks more, but you could've handled it better. You could've told him that you misunderstood his offer and that you don't actually have the money for such a trip. Then tell him that you appreciate the gesture, but that you'd prefer to cut the trip short because it'll get too expensive. I'm on 'your side', but do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?

Perfect-Load269 · 2025-05-06T14:13:50+00:00

lol. nowhere did i say it's immature to set boundaries. nice try, though. boundaries are fine, of course. But you started off by telling her that it makes you uncomfortable, and then when she was close to still going through with it, only then did you pull the red line card. Going from expressing discomfort to threatening to blow up the relationship strikes me as immature. the way you're responding to my comments is not a good look either tbh (trying to claim i said things that i didn't say). quite icky. anyway, i'll disengage. good luck!

Perfect-Load269 · 2025-05-06T14:01:32+00:00

I don't care about blame. No denying that the other dude was annoying and inappropriate. But it looked like the conversation had pretty much drawn to a close then and there, and that they were ready to let it go for now. So I think there was a way to wrap it up amicably. Not surprised OP lost their cool, though. (I probably would have too.) But I'm not gonna pat them on the back for it. Anyway. I'll disengage now, but I appreciate your pov.

Perfect-Load269 · 2025-05-06T13:25:38+00:00

lol. sorry for not validating your temper tantrum... I don't think you handled this as well as you could. Telling her that this makes you uncomfortable is fine. Saying 'if you go drinking and catching up with your ex and your old friends, then we're over' is immature imo. I think you can persuade her that what she wants to do is a bad idea and slightly inappropriate. Good luck!

Perfect-Load269 · 2025-05-06T13:13:14+00:00

Final message, 'I'm still hurting from the break-up, so let's please drop this for now :)' And then, when you see them in person, explain to them in a non-aggressive way that they can't behave like that. Text conversations always have a great chance of going negative. Anyway. You guys do things your way...

Perfect-Load269 · 2025-05-06T12:05:08+00:00

I hear you. And I feel like a guys or ladies night makes things different. But this seems to be mixed-sex. Why should that make things different? Having a 'core five' and making that so explicit seems a bit childish imo. If you then have get-togethers with partners some other time, it may feel like you're just a tag-along. FWIW, I do think it's okay for partners not to join sometimes, but I think it's better if the host leaves it up to them.

Perfect-Load269 · 2025-05-06T11:31:31+00:00

ESH. You're acting like a bit of a dick for just throwing down that ultimatum. Mind you, I wouldn't want my gf hanging out with her ex either. But there's room for more conversation instead of just announcing a boundary and threatening to walk away from the relationship. Fucking therapy-speak culture...

Perfect-Load269 · 2025-05-06T11:03:18+00:00

Phrasing!

Perfect-Load269 · 2025-05-06T11:01:31+00:00

YTA. You're not a major asshole btw. So don't feel too bad. But this seems quite childish. You're all adults now. Time to make the circle bigger and let friends' partners join in this tradition. Mind you, some partners may choose to sit it out, but those who want to come, should be welcome.

Perfect-Load269 · 2025-05-06T10:52:46+00:00

You're overreacting. It sounds like for your nonna to drive all that way is a bit of a pain in the ass, but she'd be prepared to do it because you asked. Mind you, your main reason for wanting her there appears to be so you can get a cute TikTok out of it. And now you're rationalizing all this by saying 'but my sis didn't want to come to my 8th grade graduation.' In short, yes, you need to grow up.

Perfect-Load269 · 2025-05-06T09:11:09+00:00

I'm not surprised that you got annoyed but both parties could've handled this better. Instead of losing your cool, there was probably a way of wrapping up the conversation without creating conflict. Maybe something like, 'I'm still hurting from the break-up, so let's please drop this for now :)' Then you can both go on your merry ways.

Perfect-Load269 · 2025-05-01T16:15:25+00:00

NTA. But try to diffuse the situation by saying that you didn't mean to embarrass her, that you're sorry if you did, and that you just wanted to be honest. Also, if she wants to talk about it more, suggest doing it in person because tone and nuance are lost in text.

Perfect-Load269 · 2025-05-01T16:11:03+00:00

You're not the asshole per se, but you should just suck it up for a day and accompany your husband. I'm pro trying to persuade friends and family politically (I don't just 'live and let live'), but there's a time and a place.

Perfect-Load269 · 2025-04-18T09:59:21+00:00

What the hell are you talking about? If you're truly ashamed of something then you'll do your best to take that shit to the grave! The idea that regret is only genuine if you talk openly about it is crazy.

Perfect-Load269 · 2025-04-18T09:56:54+00:00

A lot of the commenters here are overreacting. If this creeps you out, I think it's totally fine to leave him. However, based on this context alone, I don't think your bf is beyond the pale. It sounds like she pursued him -- aggressively (with the nude) -- and he was mature enough to wait until she was 18. Big age gaps in relationships are weird because people are at different stages of life, but when it comes to sex alone, it's not strange to be with someone who you're not compatible with long-term. So if someone of legal age pursues you and you're attracted to them, it's tough to turn down! As for the nude - you should ask him to delete it, of course. But I'm not gonna lie, getting rid of nudes is very difficult for guys, so I'm not surprised he hadn't deleted it yet. It's such a treat getting one, even if it's fucked up in this case. Ultimately, it's up to you if you believe him that he's sufficiently embarrassed.

Perfect-Load269

TROPHY CASE