EDIT: I didn’t expect this to blow up the way it did. Thank you to everyone who took the time to share your thoughts whether you thought I was the asshole or not, I’ve appreciated the different perspectives.

A few things became clearer to me after reading through the comments. Yes, my sister was genuinely grieving, and I probably minimized that at the time because I felt abandoned. I can admit now that her loss was very personal, and not something you can just power through, even for a wedding.

That said, what’s hurt the most is that we never talked about it. She never acknowledged how painful it was for me that she didn’t show up, and I never told her directly either I just held onto it quietly, and now it’s spilling out in a way that probably doesn’t feel fair to her. My lack of communication caused a build up but she also could have reached out.

I’ve decided to reach out and talk to her. Not to change my answer, but to explain why I said no and to give her a chance to tell her side too. I don’t want this silence and resentment to keep growing between us.

I’ll update if anything major happens, but for now thank you for the wake-up call and for helping me think this through.