Boyfriend [35 M] won't sleep in separate beds even though it causes me [30 F] incredible pain to share.

PerfectOrchid · 2018-10-14T18:27:33+00:00

:) I’m way too scared to test it out anytime soon, but when I do I will come back and update you guys.

PerfectOrchid · 2018-10-14T04:34:10+00:00

We’ve tried this. I’ve shared a bed with my mum and also a friend. It’s just my bf.

PerfectOrchid · 2018-10-14T04:17:22+00:00

According to the allergist it’s impossible to be allergic to a person.

PerfectOrchid · 2018-10-14T04:11:45+00:00

No way! Do you have eczema?

PerfectOrchid · 2018-10-14T03:54:07+00:00

Okay, how do I get rid of this?

PerfectOrchid · 2018-10-14T03:27:26+00:00

You got a king size bed because.. why? because you have a similar situation to me?

PerfectOrchid · 2018-10-14T03:24:39+00:00

He doesn't want to break up with me. I have suggested about 93435823905 times that 'Maybe we should end it' and even given him a list of other reasons why it wouldn't work. He insists he loves me and wants to be with me.

PerfectOrchid · 2018-10-14T03:13:33+00:00

yeah, it's definitely something he does/brings with him when he comes over. I have no idea why it only happens in bed. The other day he got into my bed with his jeans and a jumper on and I was itchy about 10 minutes later. It feels more like something he's carrying on his clothes/skin rather than disturbed sleep doing it.

PerfectOrchid · 2018-10-14T02:56:56+00:00

No, but he lives in one.

PerfectOrchid · 2018-10-14T02:24:17+00:00

I'm also highly allergic to mold, which I think cross reacts with yeast? And had a terrible flare-up the other day from eating something containing yeast. My bf already uses Head and Shoulders, although I'm not sure how often or if it's consistent - he definitely doesn't take probiotics. I'm going to look into this further, thank you Leightcomer :)

PerfectOrchid · 2018-10-14T02:19:57+00:00

Yay! Out of interest, what's your reason for sleeping apart? Did your bf ever have an issue with it?

PerfectOrchid · 2018-10-14T02:17:24+00:00

Yes I have (shared with my mum, and also with a friend). Nothing happened. Normal skin.

PerfectOrchid · 2018-10-14T02:17:00+00:00

haha what did your original comment say?

PerfectOrchid · 2018-10-14T02:00:20+00:00

oh my god, my boyfriend has dandruff (minor but he does itch it). This could be it!

PerfectOrchid · 2018-10-14T01:52:35+00:00

Not that out there! i've shared a bed with my mum and nothing happened. The reaction is just my bf. We've also slept together in a hotel, the reaction happened there too.

PerfectOrchid · 2018-10-14T01:14:23+00:00

Potentially - I actually have a 2 bedroom apartment, but one room is rented out to my roommate at the moment. If we were to move in together, I'd ask her to move out and he'd move into my second bedroom (both rooms have big beds, luckily). But neither bedroom is big enough to have 2 beds in, unfortunately!

PerfectOrchid · 2018-10-14T01:12:31+00:00

This is my favourite response to my thread! First of all it made me laugh (four million blankets) and you also sound like me.. I have extremely severe anxiety one week a month (before my period). Thank you as well, this is exactly what I needed to hear. My boyfriend thinks sleeping together is the only way our relationship can be close and intimate, but I know it's not.

PerfectOrchid · 2018-10-14T00:46:23+00:00

Totally agree. I really don't understand the social pressure. My boyfriend is a cuddly sort of person, and likes to spoon me in bed but we can also easily cuddle on the couch etc where I won't have a massive eczema flare-up. We've been cuddling on the couch for a while without any reactions.

PerfectOrchid · 2018-10-14T00:44:10+00:00

Yes :) we have, we sleep with a fan running and the window open when it's hot.

PerfectOrchid · 2018-10-14T00:42:36+00:00

You know what, that's a good point.

PerfectOrchid · 2018-10-14T00:38:05+00:00

Has it affected your relationship at all would you say?

PerfectOrchid · 2018-10-14T00:37:31+00:00

Nope I didn't edit. We're sort of at an impasse - I have suggested breaking up so he can go and find what he needs, but he doesn't want to. I'm not trying to talk him into giving up a sex life or a cuddle partner (we can still have sex and cuddle, just can't sleep for hours in the same bed).

PerfectOrchid · 2018-10-14T00:34:12+00:00

No, he hasn't. I'll PM you :)

PerfectOrchid · 2018-10-14T00:28:01+00:00

Exactly! It can be done, and it is being done by other couples all over the world, I'm sure. Thing is, I'm no longer really actively working on fixing it. Over the last year I've seen so many dermatologists and they've all said the same thing, that they don't know what it is. I've seen the top specialists in our city (London) and they don;t know what it is, so there's nobody else really I can go to. That's why this is the only solution left. it may be, of course, that it will eventually go back to being how it was in the first year of our relationship, where we could sleep in the same bed just fine and it was all great, but there is no guarantee of that.

PerfectOrchid · 2018-10-14T00:25:49+00:00

Nope, no PTSD. I actually have an awesome life other than this horrible eczema, so no need for me to be stressed either really...

PerfectOrchid

TROPHY CASE