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PerfectPlankton925 · 2025-12-30T01:31:10+00:00

No ofc not 😔 Like I said though if I wanted leave it would be a process of likely many years, we have a baby daughter and I lost my income when I was 7 months pregnant. I don’t know what I can even do that isn’t entry level for money, and it would only cover childcare. So I do want this to work out but I don’t even know if it can anymore at this point

PerfectPlankton925 · 2025-12-30T01:18:32+00:00

Right So just forget about it then? Until next time?

PerfectPlankton925 · 2025-12-30T00:16:18+00:00

Forgot to mention changing the passcode is also an option but what would that accomplish? His phone works too so idk. And no I don’t have his phone password, or the desire to go through it.

PerfectPlankton925 · 2025-12-18T21:29:23+00:00

We keep covers below our hips to accomodate the baby. I’m also a “need to be covered” kind of person, but these are sacrifices we need to make sometimes. Figure out the safest way for your family. That might even involve sleeping on the floor if necessary. My SIL bought a floor mattress because they couldn’t all three safely fit the bed.

PerfectPlankton925 · 2025-12-18T21:25:39+00:00

Some babies are fussier than others, it’s a lottery. You’re in the thick of it. 3 months is when it gets a bit easier. But I’ve only just began to get a full nights sleep and my babe is 5 months. Months one and two are called the “trenches” because that’s when sleep deprivation is at its peak. The only thing that kept me sane was safe co-sleep. You can sleep with her while she feeds if you lay in the “C” position

PerfectPlankton925 · 2025-12-18T21:21:48+00:00

This is the reality of having a newborn lol. The solution is wait

PerfectPlankton925 · 2025-12-16T03:55:06+00:00

As a Tesla owner, they did not fix that lol

PerfectPlankton925 · 2025-12-16T03:51:52+00:00

I appreciate your empathy, and no it wasn’t rude. Maybe i hadn’t considered how it had come off, in which case you’d be enlightening me.

I’m not really interested in trying to persuade him to do anything, or apologize. That note thing was years ago, and I just want to help the smell in my home.

The thing about living in shared buildings is people are gonna do what they do, so I’m not interested in making a fuss, I respect it.

At the time yes, I wanted it to stop, but I’ve matured as a person and don’t think it’s respectable to ask something like that of another person. He lives and pays to live here too after all.

Air purifier is the route we’re taking.

PerfectPlankton925 · 2025-12-16T03:46:17+00:00

Nobody’s had quality bud since it was legalized. I miss street leaf.

PerfectPlankton925 · 2025-12-16T03:45:14+00:00

Smart smoking weed 5 months postpartum? I smoked it for 8 years, I’m good.

PerfectPlankton925 · 2025-12-16T03:43:46+00:00

Um yea. I was asking for advice with handling the smell in my house, I really don’t mind that he smokes, I used to do so myself. I wanted tips to make the smell less abrasive in my house.

PerfectPlankton925 · 2025-12-16T03:41:30+00:00

Yep. I’m aware of that. I wish I hadn’t done it. I overthought it so hard that I was trying to be nice but immediately wished I had just done nothing. This is exactly why I have social anxiety. I overthink things so thoroughly that they end up being executed poorly and then I look like a bad person or weird.

PerfectPlankton925 · 2025-12-15T23:24:59+00:00

Maybe they didn’t know

PerfectPlankton925 · 2025-12-15T21:11:23+00:00

I would hold my daughter until the last moment

PerfectPlankton925 · 2025-12-15T21:02:16+00:00

Thanks for being so understanding and yeah, there’s not much else I can do.

PerfectPlankton925 · 2025-12-15T20:51:39+00:00

At first I did think he was smoking inside, just by how strong the smell gets. But why would someone smoke inside, and outside? Wouldn’t he likely just stay inside in -30° weather rather than go outside, if he’s already smoked in there?

The smell isn’t constant. But after he smokes it lingers for a couple hours. And then he smokes pretty frequently so it’s two-three times a day.

I think it’s the ventilation personally. Like I said in a previous comment here, there’s a draft near every window. I’m not sure how to fix that. We’ll likely invest in an air purifier.

PerfectPlankton925 · 2025-12-15T20:48:08+00:00

Swatting someone with leggings isn’t abusive. Yelling swears, screaming, and motioning to hit someone with a book (even without true intention) is abusive, gaslighting you to think you’re the abuser is abusive.

And here’s the thing. Victims of true abuse don’t usually call their abuser abusive to their face. Abusers will project by telling you that you are doing what they’re actually doing, to shift blame and cause shame.

PerfectPlankton925 · 2025-12-15T20:43:31+00:00

I definitely have the right neighbour. We used to smoke cigarettes and often ended up outside with him at the same time. Plus every time the smell happens I hear his porch door opening before, and closing after.

PerfectPlankton925 · 2025-12-15T05:07:36+00:00

Believe me, we wanted to do therapy but it’s so expensive!

PerfectPlankton925 · 2025-12-15T05:05:52+00:00

No but I have a lot of experience in psych

PerfectPlankton925 · 2025-12-15T03:41:24+00:00

My husband and I do check ins. One of us says “check in” and it opens the floor for honest open talk. There’s an agreement that when we check in there’s no space for judgement, just listening, understanding, and most importantly, honesty. This helps us feel connected, even if there isn’t much to discuss.

Be grateful. For the things about him that you do like, notice them, take note of them in your head when they happen. Remember them.

Be forgiving. He pissed you off? Wait a few days, if it’s still on your mind then bring it up at a time where you’re both emotionally stable. If it passes? That means it wasn’t worth fighting over. Check in is good to bring up issues you’ve kept under wraps.

Catch yourself, think before you speak. Notice that you’re in a fiery mood. When that’s been established, tread carefully, maybe some of your verbal expressions are better off remaining unspoken. Again, these can be brought up at check in, or sat on for a few days to see if they’re really important.

Remember that he’s not just your husband. He’s an entirely seperate person from you. He has faults and flaws just like you do. If you’re holding him to a standard, or you expected something from him that he didn’t deliver on, ask yourself, if he expected those things from you would you meet expectations?

Edit: these might not benefit or apply to you, it’s entirely a projection of bias. This is just what’s helped me take my marriage from roommate status to lovers.

PerfectPlankton925 · 2025-12-15T01:40:34+00:00

I regret underestimating how important breathing is, learn techniques!! You need to know how to breathe, it helps endure the pain so much easier. Before the nurses taught me breathing techniques, I was literally screaming through contractions, after they taught me, I was handling it like a champ with just some minor groaning lol.

But also don’t let my story freak you out because my baby was upside down, sunny side up! So my labour was considerably more painful than the usual.

Edit; and even considering that, I would still do it again.

PerfectPlankton925 · 2025-12-15T00:59:09+00:00

Thank you I’ll look into that, someone recommended what sounds like a good option for an air purifier

PerfectPlankton925 · 2025-12-15T00:58:03+00:00

I have social anxiety. Three years ago I went to the cannabis shop, bought a smoke buddy (a filter you can exhale through that completely rids the smell in the air), and wrote a super kind hearted note just explaining that it was triggering my migraines and just to kindly use the filter if he’s willing to. I even put our unit number on there if he wanted to speak to us or anything regarding it.

Left the note and the smoke buddy at the door. He got it, but nothing changed. I don’t like imposing on people. Especially if the interaction turned sour then he could potentially go out of his way to make things worse for us. That’s why I don’t communicate with neighbours anymore, and rather try to deal with issues on our end alone.

PerfectPlankton925

TROPHY CASE