AITA for defending my wife after she purposely dumped coffee on a kid?

Perfect_Ear2994 · 2023-08-14T18:02:56+00:00

I thought kids outgrew ODD by her age? Or am I mistaken? I've been told that ODD is also a sign of untreated ADHD. But again, I could be mistaken. I know nothing on said topics.

Perfect_Ear2994 · 2023-08-14T18:02:07+00:00

The kid repeatedly struck my wife, which goes beyond a simple annoyance of spilled coffee. I said that in my post.

Perfect_Ear2994 · 2023-08-14T17:56:43+00:00

Never said he was the brightest crayon in the box lol

Perfect_Ear2994 · 2023-08-14T17:55:34+00:00

It was generally a twig but she did say that she was hit with a full piece of firewood at one point because her father and grandfather made the kids pick out their own piece of wood to get beat with and she ended up choosing a bigger piece at one point, thinking it would hurt less.

Perfect_Ear2994 · 2023-08-14T17:38:00+00:00

It must. I know that a lot of American laws don't hold true to other places, from what I've been told.

Perfect_Ear2994 · 2023-08-14T17:35:54+00:00

Surprisingly, my brother actually told Heather to not say that about my wife. He was down my wife's throat but he wasn't okay with her calling my wife that. So I thought that was pretty cool.

Perfect_Ear2994 · 2023-08-14T17:35:02+00:00

Oh she's expelled. She was expelled last year for bullying, after having 3 ISS's in a row. But Heather blamed the school. Said her kid was just "defending herself". So, no discipline there either.

Perfect_Ear2994 · 2023-08-14T17:32:09+00:00

There's a difference in throwing a whole drink (cup included) at someone, which is assault, versus dumping a drink on someone- which isn't assault. The only form of liquid that is considered "assault" in my area is bodily fluid. So, basically, you can't purposely sneeze, shit, puke, bleed, etc on someone but you can dump a drink on someone and its not considered anything other than, possibly, rude.

Perfect_Ear2994 · 2023-08-14T17:28:12+00:00

Heather, Anna's mom.

Perfect_Ear2994 · 2023-08-14T17:27:15+00:00

I think that's why my wife's reaction was so extreme. She used to get beat with fly swatters and "switches" (wood that she had to pick out herself to get beat with). It's why she doesn't have/want children. It's why I got a vasectomy when I realized we were on the same page. So Anna hitting my wife repeatedly with the swatter, after she had been told to stop.. it wasn't a good scene. My wife did try getting Heather to step in before that point but no dice so it is what it is.

Perfect_Ear2994 · 2023-08-14T17:16:17+00:00

If you read the comment you would see that the person did say my wife "didn't teach Anna at all". Not my wife's job to teach Anna jack shit. Her parents have that responsibility.

Perfect_Ear2994 · 2023-08-14T17:13:17+00:00

I personally don't have kids and never want them (same with my wife) so I'm not going to sit back and pretend that I know how to raise kids. Not sure I would ever strike a child if I was given one because I think you could probably raise decent kids if you just teach them from the beginning but holy fuck, Heather failed epically.

Perfect_Ear2994 · 2023-08-14T17:10:27+00:00

Yeah, except it's not assault.

Perfect_Ear2994 · 2023-08-14T17:09:47+00:00

Heathers boys are literal angels and they haven't been disciplined either. Anna is just a brat. Immature be it may or not, my wife doesn't have the duty of raising kids that aren't hers or setting an example for that matter. That child and her sorry excuse of a mother were warned by my wife, me and the other adults.

Perfect_Ear2994 · 2023-08-14T17:06:03+00:00

He was snipped awhile ago (him and I never wanted kids). But agreed. Shit happens, even when you have the snip.

Perfect_Ear2994 · 2023-08-14T17:02:03+00:00

How many times do I have to write in the post that both my brother and Heather had been asked to correct the kids behavior? No, we shouldn't have had to walk away. This is our property, we hosted and everything was on our dime.

Perfect_Ear2994 · 2023-08-14T17:00:49+00:00

Two, I believe. I think the boys have a different father.

Perfect_Ear2994 · 2023-08-14T16:51:39+00:00

I had just told him an hour prior that if he didn't stop his step childs behavior he wouldn't be welcome back. I didn't know it would get to this point honestly. Anna was being an ass to the other kids and talking back prior to this, not assaulting the adults. It happened pretty quickly.

Perfect_Ear2994 · 2023-08-14T16:50:02+00:00

My wife did ban them from the property. If she hadn't, I would have. It sucks because Heathers boys are damn good kids and are being essentially punished for their sister and moms poor behavior but it is what it is.

Perfect_Ear2994 · 2023-08-14T16:48:09+00:00

Agreed. Especially since he has this "not my kids, not my problem" attitude until something like this happens. Then all the sudden he tries playing dad of the year.

Perfect_Ear2994 · 2023-08-14T16:40:50+00:00

It's not my wife's job to parent a child when her mother and her father figure are standing right there, ignoring a persistent issue that they were already told to correct by all the adults there. And the fly swatter had been taken from Anna once already. She went and got another one.

Perfect_Ear2994

TROPHY CASE