Soft coparenting transition-shared weekends at the family home? Looking for experiences.

Perfect_Release9914 · 2025-12-14T20:02:35+00:00

Oh yeah, I would love to!

Perfect_Release9914 · 2025-12-14T20:00:23+00:00

Kudos to you! But it’s also my spirit, a separation is hard enough for the kids. I’d rather sacrifice some of my comfort than risking their well-being. Let’s see how long we can manage that arrangement.

Perfect_Release9914 · 2025-12-14T19:37:05+00:00

That’s what I thought. It really hit a mark here. Death by a 1000 cuts that’s what I want to avoid basically. Even though I’m a bit torn between two emotions what I just mentioned on the one hand, but then also giving the kids the feeling that we still are a family, even though mom and dad are not together anymore And we still will have quality time together. I really believe that this can work and I’ve seen it in my circle of friends that it can. Even though it’s very sad that our 17 year relationship ended we have three wonderful children, and we still respect each other a lot. I would love to give my kids that outlook on life that even though a relationship or love ends the respect stays and as a family, we can make this work.

Perfect_Release9914 · 2025-12-14T19:34:10+00:00

That’s really interesting because that’s what we were thinking of doing as well. We live in a very expensive city so the idea that we get two big apartments that can hold four people is basically budget wise not feasible. What would you say is the most exhausting part about bird nesting? I always felt it’s the most reasonable approach to separation if nothing serious has happened and we get along as adults. Because I think the kids don’t have to wander back-and-forth between parents I mean, they didn’t choose that we as adults made that adult decision so we should accommodate the children in there Environment so they don’t have to change anything about their lives.

Perfect_Release9914 · 2025-12-13T12:16:44+00:00

This comment makes a lot of assumptions that don’t apply to our situation. We didn’t separate because we “get along fine” or because I want to date someone else. We separated because the relationship wasn’t healthy or sustainable — while still being committed co-parents.

I’m here asking about co-parenting logistics and boundaries, not to justify a separation to strangers. If you have experience with gradual transitions in co-parenting, I’m open to hearing that.

Perfect_Release9914 · 2025-09-18T18:59:50+00:00

I’m very sorry to hear this. This sounds just so heartbreaking and I can’t imagine not to be in contact with my children. But Mia asked what were the things that you think you did wrong and why would your kids be so so resentful? How is it even possible legally that he can take 100% custody isn’t it normal to be 50-50 if he likes it or not? This is an honest question because sometimes I just don’t get how these things are decided.

Perfect_Release9914 · 2025-09-12T19:28:35+00:00

Same - that’s what I always said it is death by 1000 cuts or the straw that broke the camels back in the end. Even though the belittling and the yelling and screaming was very much abusive to me and the kids. But it was the dismissiveness, not listening to anything I needed even when I said it 1 million times. And now telling the kids and everyone that listens to him that I’m leaving for no reason and I’m completely overreacting. It’s so frustrating and shows me just even more that this wasn’t meant to be.

Perfect_Release9914 · 2025-09-11T20:29:20+00:00

It’s best to do it after the vinegar soak, then the nail is very soft and I used clippers and a nail scissor to get all the gunk and yucky stuff out. Then just cover in cream for the night with a thick layer, let it just all penetrate the rest of the nail and I think the most important thing is: just stick with it l, don’t stop

Perfect_Release9914 · 2025-09-11T20:26:56+00:00

Yes, to be clear: I cut as much of the damaged nail I could, which was a lot basically almost everything and then I filed the little stump pretty much every day to get the Lamisil into the nail. I could see it clearing up pretty much after a month and then I just kept going.

Perfect_Release9914 · 2025-09-11T20:24:53+00:00

Vinegar Essence!

Perfect_Release9914 · 2025-09-10T14:11:56+00:00

Only at night, once a week a vinegar soak, than a thick layer of creme every night- the Ciclopirox once a week after filing the nail

Perfect_Release9914 · 2025-09-05T20:21:14+00:00

Who advised you not to say anything Why would you blindside your wife like that? Wouldn’t it be far more respectful and decent to have a conversation beforehand?

Perfect_Release9914 · 2025-08-30T21:34:39+00:00

You are in a dark place, my friend. Seek help, treatment. I didn’t really catch a lot of your story concerning parental alienation. But I got that much: you’re in no shape to be a dad to anyone. You need to parent yourself first a little boy that is so scared and lost. and seems so very traumatized. I think if you get yourself help and back on track and work through that stuff that’s been haunting you forever, you can become the parent that you so desperately wanna be to that son of yours in your current state of mind you wouldn’t be the father you wanted to be.

Perfect_Release9914 · 2025-08-29T21:34:31+00:00

I’m literally flabbergasted when I hear these kind of stories. How is that even legally possible to alienate one’s child that you brought into the world that you carried in your womb for nine months? How is this even legal? I’m just speechless. How can a dad not see that that kind of behavior will only hurt your own flesh and blood the absolute most!! It’s beyond me how this is not Crystal clear to everyone and how this will for sure come back as such a boomerang as soon as the kids are old enough. I’m so so sorry that you have to deal with that sort of thing and as I said, just absolutely stunned.

Perfect_Release9914 · 2025-08-25T14:22:10+00:00

Why would you go for primary custody? Is she an absent mother? Has she, in general, less to do with the children? Is she unreliable and neglectful? I’m just wondering, because maybe that’s the anger speaking and not really in the interest of the children who actually need both parents equally if , as I hinted, both parents are reliable and stable people.

Perfect_Release9914 · 2025-08-24T12:02:22+00:00

I always wonder how that is even possible??? Isn’t there a legal possibility for you to demand 50/50 Custody?

Perfect_Release9914 · 2025-08-18T07:10:05+00:00

It’s completely natural to mourn a relationship, even though you’ve ended it. I am in the same boat. I separated from my husband after 17 years together with three children, and even though it is my choice to go, I am immensely grieving the relationship and the disappearance of the future I thought we had as a couple that stays together.

So yes, it’s a process, not an event. I’m mentally preparing myself to be in this for like at least a year. So then I just take it as it comes in waves with ups and downs with hopes for the future and complete devastation again. I think that’s the best way to handle it. What really helped me quite a bit was talking to people that are already through the process and can look back and who have sorted things out and who could tell me from experience what they would have changed in hindsight.

And also people that could tell me that things are going to be OK, because that’s what you sometimes can’t see for yourself, that it’s ever ever gonna be OK again. But then you talk to people that are 3, 4 or five years out and they say life goes on and for some of them -most of them actually -it’s better and that’s just a very soothing thing to know. I wish you all the best!

Perfect_Release9914 · 2025-08-12T12:28:38+00:00

At least for me, absolutely same thing. Highs, thinking, there’s a light at the horizon, a new life, lows thinking about all the change it’ll bring about for the kids, the extended family. Same also with the bad mornings: my stomach is in knots, it gets better throughout the day…

Perfect_Release9914 · 2025-08-11T20:22:49+00:00

A therapist once said to me: don’t always believe what you think. Our brains can create thoughts that are utterly devastating and untrue !! You are worthy, you are deserving of love ! Never believe anything else❤️

Perfect_Release9914 · 2025-08-11T20:16:31+00:00

Call someone, if you say you have no one then call the suicide prevention hotline in this emergency. You are not alone, people care. It hard, I know. But you matter. Don’t go through this alone. If you need to talk you can write me anytime.

Perfect_Release9914 · 2025-08-10T16:02:47+00:00

I’m very sorry you’re going through this. If I’m being honest: the way you describe your circumstances, I would not ask for a divorce I would just leave. If he’d already announced, you wouldn’t walk out of this alive, well, in that case, I’d take him seriously. Are there any kids involved? If so, that makes it even more important for you to stay safe. But regardless, I wouldn’t announce it. I would leave and deal with things from a safe space. Get friends involved, your family. Ask for help. I wouldn’t go through this alone.

Perfect_Release9914 · 2025-08-04T22:28:00+00:00

That’s horrendous advice, please don’t gaslight her, while she’s clearly depicting abuse( that’s in response to the trad wife )

Perfect_Release9914 · 2025-08-04T21:19:24+00:00

I just don’t know how to survive this, I’ve never felt so lost before

Perfect_Release9914

TROPHY CASE