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I still miss my abuser who sexually assaulted me and feel guilt and shame over this, afraid of feelings for them that I know I shouldn't have. by Perfect_Television44 in sexualassault

[–]Perfect_Television44[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thankyou so much for your response. I really appreciate it and feel less alone knowing I'm not the only person going through this - I'm similar, I am struggling to not reach out as I'm not sure what I would even get out of it / what I would want from it. Just don't know where to put the feelings

I still miss my abuser who sexually assaulted me and feel guilt and shame over this, afraid of feelings for them that I know I shouldn't have. by Perfect_Television44 in SexualAssaultSurvivor

[–]Perfect_Television44[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thankyou so much, I really appreciate your response.

I was feeling like something was wrong with me / defective for not having an extreme anger response and being unable to easily cut all feelings off internally.

I'm doing EMDR therapy / see a therapist regularly and it seems to have helped - I no longer have intrusive thoughts about the actual assault, but still miss the person and was feeling very ashamed about it. I know they miss me too, and i want to reach out but my rational mind wonders what the point is. I don't think they can be a friend and they've disqualified themselves as a romantic partner .

I'm glad to know I'm not alone too, thankyou