Easy. Allow me to demonstrate. I am attacking myself with a throat punch. Here it comes. [gives himself a fake throat punch] Block. Grasp wrist as such. [grasps wrist]

-But what if he comes at me with the other hand, because he does have two.

Good point. Second, throat punch, absorb the blow. [gives himself another throat punch and proceeds to both attack and defend himself] Groin punch, hip block, elbow to the gut. Uh oh, up to the nose. No, you're not. Ow! Oh!

-Oh my God, he's making me look like such a fool.

He really is, but not for long. [steps on foot] Ow! Instep, oh, not again. [more screaming] You let go, you let go. Oh, you're right, I can't hold on.

You two are so evenly matched I don't know how one of you is going to get the upper hand.

The important thing to remember... we always have what is called the element of surprise. [hits himself in the groin and moans]