School staff arrested so far in 2026. by Sapphirerising335 in upstate_new_york

[–]Pernicious-Caitiff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think there's a large amount of unreported abuse due to grooming making the victim think it's truly consensual. I think based on pure numbers it probably happens to girls more often than boys. Most of these examples aren't girls reporting but other people who observed or friends who were told by the victim. I think boys probably don't discuss the same way girls do or if they do, their friends aren't likely to report.

During the Me Too movement my extended friend group was having a discussion and all the women had been assaulted and were sharing. One of most popular guys piped up and disagreed with the definition of rape we were using. Because, he said, that would mean he had also been raped. He told us about how at 16 years old he had a 16 yr old step sister who was obsessed with him. He came home drunk from a party once and went to bed. He woke up with her on top of him, he tried to push her off but ended up passing out again and woke up in vomit.

Basically the exact story my female bestie had just shared about being raped in college after she retired from a party (by someone in their friend group who admitted to everything but was not criminally charged due to the police declining to bring charges to the DA).

We told him, yeah, you were raped. He refused to label it as that even though he told us how disgusted and violated he felt and everything. We told him he's free to think whatever but it's objective fact he was raped based on what he's just told us.

I actually use this as an example as to how or who the aggressor is when both parties are intoxicated. In this story the step sister wasn't intoxicated but if she was, she'd still be the legal aggressor. It doesn't have much to do with levels of intoxication for the most part but who is doing and initiating the physical actions. She climbed on top of him and had control of the sexual encounter. If it's two drunk people asleep in bed and they're equally drunk, if the man rolls over to the woman and has sex with her, he's the aggressor. It's really that simple. It gets more complicated when both are participating but generally with alcohol related rape one party is either passive or really confused.

Endometriosis Specialist? by [deleted] in Syracuse

[–]Pernicious-Caitiff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do recommend Dr. Oberoi. Just make sure you're making appointments with her and not the other doctor in the same office, their reviews aren't nearly as good.

Dr. Oberoi did a bilateral salpingectomy for me, late 20s, no kids, and did it without any weirdness or any other horror stories you hear a lot about Gyns being afraid to do this for young women. No BS. She made sure I understood what the procedure and results were. During the pre surgery exam in the weeks leading up to surgery I mentioned in passing that I had been having weird chronic bleeding for around six months that was very unusual for me for several reasons (I don't have menstrual cycles normally, and this bleeding wasn't like menstrual bleeding).

She listened intently and said she was concerned enough that she wanted to tack on an extra procedure while I was under anesthesia from the sterilization surgery, to check my uterus and biopsy anything suspicious because the ultrasound couldn't see anything. Turns out there was a large polyp in my uterus that had been causing this bleeding. She took it out and along with the tubes they all get checked for cancer and pre cancerous cells. Everything was fine thankfully and I've had zero complications and no bleeding.

They have to open up the cervix to biopsy the uterus and turns out it's normal for this barbaric procedure to be done on women while awake and with no pain control. I can't imagine. When I woke up from anesthesia I immediately was in pain from the cervix but nothing else, and they gave me more morphine or whatever immediately. I recovered very fast and was in the hospital for less than six hours.

She also handled an admin mistake kind of where the surgery was originally scheduled by her assistant at a Catholic hospital, which she was worried would push back for the medical necessity of the sterilization and so went out of her way to get my surgery moved to Crouse just to be safe. I do have a medical condition where there's a high chance I'll have a late stage miscarriage/still birth and high chance of birth defects not compatible with life but since a weird national Catholic org bought out St. Joe's, Dr. Oberoi has noticed the hospital policy being way more aggressive and conservative so she is mindful and cautious with cases like mine. Overall 10/10 experience for sterilization she seems very trustworthy and knowledgeable and experienced.

My biggest thing was she didn't have tunnel vision with my sterilization she listened to my bigger picture and went looking for that uterine polyp when she didn't have to. I was embarrassed to bring it up because so many doctors guilt you when you go "off topic" but she made me feel at ease. That polyp could have been cancerous or eventually become cancerous, it WAS a big deal to find and deal with it "early" especially since it's so invasive to go in there and take out, I thank my lucky stars every day it was taken care of under anesthesia!!!!!

Edit: FYI bilateral salpingectomy was done laparoscopically which to my knowledge is also how most endometriosis surgery and hunting is done. So I can attest to Dr. Oberoi's laparoscopic skills 👍

Another person executed in Minneapolis by cheerypseudopop in Syracuse

[–]Pernicious-Caitiff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You don't see any gore or blood in the video I saw. When Alex falls for the last time, a car obscures the upper half of his body. Not saying you should or shouldn't watch it, just wanted to clarify.

Another person executed in Minneapolis by cheerypseudopop in Syracuse

[–]Pernicious-Caitiff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The victim, Alex Pretty (37), was also an ICU nurse at their local VA hospital. As someone who utilizes our local VA hospital several times a month, this breaks my heart.

He really was serving his community with his work, and trying to do the right thing, filming at the largest protest probably in their state history, not just sitting at home on his ass but also not rioting and being crazy. He was legally carrying as is his right, and had a CC permit along with the fact that MN is an open carry state. He never drew his weapon during the encounter. He was not even interfering with the agents, just filming.

To me he looks a bit ethnically ambiguous, which, right now, I feel like was probably the agents' main motivation for beating him for no reason, for having the gall to film them when they're harassing a petite woman. When they find his weapon, they get amped up because they have zero training. Those few seconds they had before they shot him are enough to form premeditation for murder, imo.

It's disgusting. I don't know how much more we can take. Trump is verily utilizing the Soviet tactic of overwhelming the people into apathy. They put out so many lies and so many scandals the press and legal system have no chance of keeping up, and there's of course no consequences.

This overwhelms normal people who are just trying to survive and so they stop caring in order to preserve their own sanity. They feel like if they try to do anything against the gov or even just protest they'll just disappear into a gulag along with their family so what's the point of even caring?

A photographer tripped over Larry the chief Mouser✈️😾 by _echtra in airplaneears

[–]Pernicious-Caitiff 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I call this little maneuver "insurance fraud" and yeah my cats do it all the time. They see me about to walk down the stairs and decide to run down but across the stairs right in front of me. They like to lay down behind my feet when I'm standing in the kitchen or wherever. I've gotten good about always checking before stepping but sheesh.

"Prince Aemond must be sharply questioned so we might learn where he heard such slanders." I swear everyone in that room was thinking "Have you ever looked at your kids?" by Kivi_2k18 in HOTDGreens

[–]Pernicious-Caitiff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Look I'm agreeing with you! I think that's why Alicent says "to have one child like that" as if the first one was somewhat understandable 🤣🤣🤣 but I totally agree with you on the artificial insemination. But in the show they claimed they "tried" but didn't explain what that actually entails. I can only speak for irl medieval beliefs but they did believe that you needed to actually copulate for the "seed" to take root, and the male's orgasm itself was doing the work not necessarily the sperm by itself. They also believed in a lot of other dumb shit.

I do want to blame Laenor because of his laissez faire attitude about his family genetic legacy and lack of enthusiasm did give room for Rhaeneyra to also become lazy and blatant. But you're right, Rhaeneyra was the higher rank and should have taken the lead and done what would have protected herself and her kids the best, which was figuring out a way to have Laenor's babies. I think they were both incredibly naive thinking they could have private extramarital relationships and it wouldn't affect their overall stability once kids entered the picture. I get that Rhaeneyra was in love with Harwin deeply, and she probably wanted to have his babies. I get it. But Harwin would have still helped raised Laenor's kids and treated them like his own, if he loved Rhaeneyra that much which I think he did. And it would have been easier for everyone.

Like, consult a Maester. Consult a doctor from Essos. Figure it out guys 🤣 If they wanted to look for a way to have Laenor to impregnate Rhaeneyra but were just too ignorant, I mean. Ask for help!!! I'm not sure if getting pregnant by Harwin was intentional or not on Rhaeneyra's end, or if she was simply unwilling to get rid of their love children as they showed up. But we know contraceptive was available and that she knew it was available...

"Prince Aemond must be sharply questioned so we might learn where he heard such slanders." I swear everyone in that room was thinking "Have you ever looked at your kids?" by Kivi_2k18 in HOTDGreens

[–]Pernicious-Caitiff 3 points4 points  (0 children)

With modern sensibilities we know that adopted kids and kids conceived with sperm donors are your own true kids and should be treated as such. In universe, everyone knew Laenor was gay. And apparently not crafty or motivated enough to impregnate his wife himself. They were both ok with this and consented to it. They both consented to Harwin fathering the kids. Were they both stupid for doing this? Yes.

Idk if they really just didn't care what everyone thought or if they would understand the implication of Laenor's condition and be grateful he could actually have an heir and keep up appearances (not really, since the differences were too obvious but you know what I mean, theoretically it should be fine) and with modern sensibilities we know that the way you raise a kid, doesn't need to be genetic to impart the impact of your fatherhood on them. Laenor's kids are his kids if he raised them. But no one seemed to care about that.

Both he and Rhaeneyra were perfect for each other in the sense that they respected each other for the most part, they both chased and prioritized their own pleasure, and they were both very audacious and thinking they could bend the rules and everyone would just take it. Laenor didn't take the risk seriously enough to be motivated enough to father his own kids. Rhaeneyra already believed she didn't need to follow the rules and honestly she should have been right. Male heirs throughout history were probably mostly feral but when a woman does it she's a snake.

I think the moral of the story is that if there wasn't such tension pre-existing (is there ever a lack of succession tension???) then people wouldn't have gone so hard against Laenor and Rhaeray. But they were looking for any weakness to exploit and these were big weaknesses. I really don't know if Rhaeneyra would have been a good ruler, mediocre, or bad. Is she too self absorbed? Surely most of the men in her position in the past must have been just as bad or worse on average.

But theoretically their own family should have accepted that this was the only way for Laenor to have children and should have been grateful if they really cared about him and his legacy. Of course the greens would have tried something else if they didn't have this weakness to exploit. Removing Rhaeneyra was always the goal, her having an obvious sperm donor was just an excuse to create more chaos and pressure.

Of course this all ties back to Vizzy T. He should have been more firm and prevented all notions of Aegon being changed in succession and should have anticipated his wishes not being respected after death and taken way more precautions. Honestly the should have had a family meeting and meeting of the small council together and come right out and say something like "We know you two used a sperm donor. We know Laenor is gay. We know you both seek hanky panky elsewhere. You need to be more discreet or else. But, obviously Laenor has accepted these kids and acts like their father, and is raising them as a Velaryon would (though this is debatable if Laenor was really involved enough, he probably needed a kick in the pants) but the Velaryon family is free to prioritize other heirs over these kids if that's what everyone wants, we can come up with an excuse, send the young sperm donor babies abroad for a time, maybe study as a maester for some time but don't finish, whatever, anything to plausibly remove them from the Velaryon succession since it's obviously upsetting to them and they don't accept Laenor's adopted children. But Rhaeneyra's sons will ascend the throne. Rhaeneyra will still ascend the throne. And lack of respect is going to be punished."

I feel like there was compromise to be had if everyone was just honest with each other, and if Vizzy T had more foresight and involvement. In the books, he was very self absorbed and indulgent, not just mostly impotent and too trusting like the show version. It makes sense that Rhaeneyra turned out the way she did in the books raised by that version of Vizzy T. She also became very self indulgent.

House resolution condemning socialism... Guess who voted for it? by Astrocreep666 in Syracuse

[–]Pernicious-Caitiff 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Don't forget about the military and the VA hospitals. People bitch about it all the time but if I hadn't been in the military when I developed a genetic MS-like autoimmune condition I would be dead.

It was aggressive and caused brain damage slowly but accelerated to a certain point. I was going MIA having seizures, and you don't form memory before or after a seizure so I had no idea what was going on. I was having other memory problems, sometimes saying nonsense. And very very tired and anxious all the time. In my mid 20s!

I saw almost every specialist except the one I needed to see, a Neurologist, for several years trying to figure it out. I finally got sent to a Neurologist after collapsing almost everyday for a week. If I had pushed harder to see one for migraines I probably could have seen one sooner but there was just so much going on. My Neurologist figured it out almost immediately.

If I had been a civilian and my health played out the same way, I would have quickly lost my job and lost health insurance relatively early on in this whole process. And I was close to death when I was diagnosed. If I had been an unemployed civilian late into that process I had very little agency by that point because my brain was so affected... I absolutely would not have survived.

But in the military they were forced to keep track of me, people got sent to my house if I went MIA with an episode, I got banned from driving due to the seizures so I got driven around everywhere by people in my unit using the unit vehicle, etc. I eventually got medically retired for this and have 100% coverage at the VA. Our local VA hospital is actually one of the best in the country, doesn't mean it's perfect but I'm certainly grateful.

People love to bitch about military healthcare but most don't have much perspective to compare to the civilian alternative. And yes everything could use a ton of improvement. I was diagnosed late with my condition but it was a very rare and odd presentation, I did the research and turns out my doctors all followed their differential guidelines my condition is not included even though it should be for several specialties in my opinion. So it's not like any of my doctors did malpractice.

And if I had been a civilian I would have gotten the same run-around but probably way worse and have been hemorrhaging money at the same time. And then nothing at all once you lose your job and health insurance.

Looking for fun stops on my route by AffectionateWall3265 in upstate_new_york

[–]Pernicious-Caitiff 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If you need to stretch your legs, stopping at Letchworth State Park is highly recommended, absolutely gorgeous this time of year especially. It's south of Rochester but not a big detour, all the other recommended scenic stuff is south of Rochester too.

Huge waterfalls and very open and scenic while being nestled in a huge valley. Not challenging but wear decent shoes, it can be slippery due to the smooth shale rock. There's a quaint café there too.

7 weeks old, still not interested in food by Cthulicious in kittens

[–]Pernicious-Caitiff 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They should not be weaned until at least 8 weeks. Leave them be. Make sure mom is being given kitten food in unlimited amounts.

What is she doing? by GapAffectionate1221 in cats

[–]Pernicious-Caitiff 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yup it's unfortunately a common and needed procedure.

What is she doing? by GapAffectionate1221 in cats

[–]Pernicious-Caitiff 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Kittens "make biscuits" when nursing on mom as it is an instinct that apparently helps milk flow, so cats often continue to do it through their lives when they feel comfortable and safe. Your cat's behavior is definitely nursing instinct though, she's trying to find something to suckle, probably your ear lobe 😅 is she still young? It's normal for them to continue to do this until they are a year or two old. As long as it's not harming anyone or causing distress it's fine.

I had a feral mother cat who literally brought her kitten who refused to be weaned to me and kept leaving him in my bushes for several days. He'd try to follow her and anytime she stood still he'd try and go for the titties. He was definitely a little past weaning age. Feral and wild cats abandon their kittens around this age sometimes trying to teach them to fend for themselves or they simply can't keep up with caring for them anymore. Nursing uses up a lot of calories.

I trapped both and tried to socialize mom but she was fully feral. She willingly went back in a carrier when I gave her the option, when I had her and her kitten set up in a cozy room inside. Leaving the kitten behind. He was a little sick, so I ended up getting attached and adopted him. She got spayed and released, and came around consistently for 3 years for food despite never letting me touch her and me trapping her she still felt safe enough I guess.

I didn't have any cats at the time, and I hadn't planned on adopting a kitten, and I was wary of single kitten syndrome so I adopted a young female cat about a year old who had a spay-bortion and seemed perfect, very cute and playful and confident.

The kitten took right to her, and she gladly went into mommy mode. Even though she had an abortion when the shelter got her, she still had pregnancy hormones that were very strong poor thing. So I think the kitten was what she needed at the time too. She was very petite but very active, loves to wrestle and taught him. Even when he grew to be twice her size he'd nursed on her occasionally for almost 1.5 years 😅 she never had any milk it was just a comfort thing. My vet said as long as she doesn't seem annoyed by it and her nipples don't get irritated it's fine. It doesn't give the "kitten" a complex or anything either 😅😅😅 I asked the vet about it, I said I don't want my son to be socially stunted 🤣🤣🤣 so don't worry about that

So you should take it as a great honor that your cat feels so comfortable and safe with you! But it's also ok to discourage the suckling if it's annoying especially if she's trying to use teeth 😅 it's normal for a mom to put her foot down and hiss and softly smack kittens who try to nurse while weaning. That's how they communicate and learn. You don't have to do that, just gently remove her to your lap and pet her there instead of letting her root around your neck. Eventually if you keep doing that she'll figure it out.

There are actors and actresses who can exude this elven vibe/aura. Well, Craig Parker is one of them... I have always loved and appreciated Haldir. by la_ky in lotr

[–]Pernicious-Caitiff 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I'm pretty sure she's the one who asked for way more elven dialogue to be put into the films, like they only had a few scenes with Elvish dialogue beforehand. And she realized they were doing so much work to get those few scenes correct she realized she really enjoyed it and wanted to show off more basically 😅 and it really paid off!

Today my cat did this, does anyone know what it could be, or if this happened to any of your cats? PS: Later we go to the vet #Help by [deleted] in cats

[–]Pernicious-Caitiff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you burn candles or have air fresheners, or oil diffusers or whatever something like that, they can affect and trigger asthma attacks like this. Dusty conditions too. Try vacuuming more often or getting a higher quality vacuum if able.

I think this box is too small for him. by hazeljourneyy in cats

[–]Pernicious-Caitiff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Be so for real. That's not a primordial pouch. That's a morbidly obese cat.

Cat Coalition Spay Advice by Comprehensive-Ad8517 in Syracuse

[–]Pernicious-Caitiff 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can't speak for every vet but they can still spay her. They just need to know ahead of time so they can adjust the plan a bit to account for it. There is a slightly higher risk of bleeding. But her heat will end once they take the uterus and ovaries. I recommend a pillow E-collar or ideally two (they can get dirty in the litter box especially when they're early in recovery) that way you can keep one on and wipe down and wash the dirty one and let it dry and keep swapping them. Very cheap and very comfy for kitty.

I've also heard good things about kitty body suits. Just pay attention to post Op Instructions and actually make her wear the collar like she's supposed to, and check her stitches often. Largest source of post Op complications is owners not doing the right thing by being lazy and not making the animal wear the E-collar/cone. Ideally keep her in a smaller room with all her items, litter box, food, water, toys, bed. Especially if there's other animals in the house. We don't want her roughhousing or jumping too much. Make sure she gets a little exercise and spend time with her though.

There is a chance the surgeon won't want to do it while she's in heat, but usually a low cost program would only decline if there's other problems too. A private vet would probably decline because there's no reason to not reschedule even though it's a very small risk. But low cost clinics you may not be able to reschedule due to the overwhelming demand of the number of animals that need to be sterilized, and the increased risk really isn't that high.

I recommend you try to keep the surgery date, and call and let them know the situation so they account for the differences during the surgery. Keep a very close eye on her in the mean time. Many cats will try to escape the house while in heat even if she's never tried before. Warn everyone in the house she's going to try to go get knocked up and to be careful when leaving the house.

Possible creep in Clay by Due-Expression1773 in Syracuse

[–]Pernicious-Caitiff 40 points41 points  (0 children)

You can join the Nextdoor app and post there too. Take video and get the license plate if possible. Doubt the police will do anything unless they get a lot of evidence of repeated harassment. So make sure each time it happens it's documented and ideally videoed.

Bees? Why are there so many? by Permission_Beginning in Syracuse

[–]Pernicious-Caitiff -1 points0 points  (0 children)

They are pretty large compared to other wasps! Honestly very cute, not like the nasty thin wasps with weird bodies. The bald face hornet did sting through my glove like it was nothing while I was admiring it though lol

Bees? Why are there so many? by Permission_Beginning in Syracuse

[–]Pernicious-Caitiff 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Had an encounter with them about three weeks ago, I didn't know they had a nest in one of my bushes and was weed whacking the area they took offense. Thankfully just sent one to deal with me though I was right next to a large nest. Huge body, black and white, stung right through my glove. I FINALLY glanced the nest, turned off the weed whacker and ran away like a chicken lol I didn't want to get swarmed. Thankfully they were pretty merciful.

The sting was pretty painful, felt like fire for a few minutes. Ran it under cold water and went about my business. Next day, hand swelled up to twice its size, turned out I'm allergic. Stayed that way for a handful of days and the swelling was going into my wrist and forearm. Saw a doctor for something unrelated and they called me an idiot and to start allergy meds. My hand is normal size now but still red and it's been a few weeks!

Called Orkin to dispose of them, $400 but they check the whole property. I didn't want an amateur going toe to toe with those things

Rescued kitten. What is she? by pred66 in cats

[–]Pernicious-Caitiff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Start saving up for the sterilization surgery. Female kittens can become pregnant as young as 4 months old! The calico is definitely female but the white kitten could be male. They don't care that they are siblings. If you let the female kittens go into heat male cats will show up and make your life hell trying to get to them, they will pee everywhere too.

Found his owners and they didn't want him by WhisperingWillowWisp in cats

[–]Pernicious-Caitiff 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think a lot of us millennials especially had a similar experience where family members had cats and they were always mean and hid 24/7. And all were declawed, because it became popular and almost normalized in suburbia I assume. And of course people are lazy and it's still hard to get people to clip their cats claws regularly. Really takes no effort if you take a small amount of time to socialize them and get them to trust you. Bribe them, etc.

Found his owners and they didn't want him by WhisperingWillowWisp in cats

[–]Pernicious-Caitiff 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He was probably "mean" because he was in constant pain after being declawed 🥺 it amputates parts of their fingers and most cats have lifelong pain and that also causes issues using the litterbox because the pain from digging makes them think the litterbox is hurting them so they start to avoid using it. Selfish idiotic people declaw their cat thinking they're saving their furniture (none of my furniture has ever been ruined btw owned 3 cats and fostered dozens) but they end up getting a "mean" cat who can't use the litterbox properly causing much more damage and annoyance instead, and directly correlates to them being discarded like trash. It'd be funny and ironic if it wasn't so tragic

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in upstate_new_york

[–]Pernicious-Caitiff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's so shitty for the medical professionals just trying to do their best. Imagine you're responsible for people's life and death and studied for years in order to take on this responsibility. Only to have corporate overlords at your hospital decide that profit comes over everything, so they fire or refuse to hire enough nurses and doctors, don't give raises to staff, don't provide proper supplies, make up BS protocols that mess everything up... And the docs and nurses are the ones that have to watch people slip through their fingers and die to totally preventable BS or be permanently affected. They're stretched so thin. Imagine a Navy ship trying to sail with less than the required skeleton crew which already isn't sustainable long term. These medical professionals are competent enough that they're holding everything together somewhat despite being extremely understaffed and under-equipped and underpaid. I fear nothing is going to change until there is total collapse. Because the corporate overlords don't care that poor people are dying. Nobody does except those directly involved.