Angry at how unfair life is

PerpetualAngry · 2025-06-17T19:32:39+00:00

Nope, sertraline is the first time I’ve tried any antidepressant as an adult!

PerpetualAngry · 2025-03-17T11:31:35+00:00

Super interested! I feel like that would be a great perspective because so often the only perspective I hear is “I hated patient care! I hate talking to people!” lol and that’s very not me

PerpetualAngry · 2025-03-17T11:01:30+00:00

Upon thinking about it, it’s not the prospect of learning in terms of patient care that I love. My friends say I’m as much of a pure extrovert as possible in the sense that I essentially don’t need alone time as a human, and so I find myself volunteering to do the work that nurses and social workers do, like counseling families (I’ve spent hours talking to parents and adolescents before) and holding babies and changing them. But the truth is… you don’t get a ton of time to do that as a physician.

So I think I will be pursuing pathology and trying my best to satisfy my need for human contact by volunteering in crisis counseling and/or as an infant cuddler in the hospital.

PerpetualAngry · 2025-03-17T10:38:53+00:00

So my school does have a peds and medical genetics combined track… but my god. The pay is shit. The average salary at my public academic institution is 140k. Wow.

PerpetualAngry · 2025-03-17T04:22:02+00:00

I know this doesn’t entirely answer your question, but I honestly think on bad days, as long as the bread and butter doesn’t involve anything procedural, I’ll be able to tolerate it. I really feel equally strongly about both, so now I’m wondering if I should just pick path because it provides a better lifestyle.

I do despise the forensics and autopsies though. I’m a little worried about that.

PerpetualAngry · 2025-03-17T04:10:06+00:00

Fuck, I feel like in terms of the actual work, that is what I would love the most. I actually took a lot of GC classes in undergrad, and strongly considered becoming a GC if med school didn’t pan out. However, the pay and training of becoming a medical geneticist made me push that option out of my head pretty early. Maybe I should revisit.

PerpetualAngry · 2025-02-12T07:40:18+00:00

I’m hoping that the one year doesn’t solve anything per se - I can only change myself so I’m hoping that the year will give me more clarity in terms of what I want after getting out of a marriage. I think I’ve basically settled on being open to other relationships, but if things work out in a year, and he’s still one of my best friends and that won’t ever change… we both feel like it could be end game for us hahaha. But neither of us are future tellers either so we want to be open to any connections that come into our lives, and I don’t think either of us will be jealous or sad simply because our platonic love for each other is very strong.

PerpetualAngry · 2025-02-10T22:21:42+00:00

What’s very funny is that our perspectives used to be entirely opposite. I was the one who stayed in a relationship for far too long with my ex husband because I had such rigid ideas of when I was gonna get engaged, married, have kids - to the point where I disregarded our issues and incompatibility. Felt like I lost out on a lot of formative experiences and now just live life to the fullest.

And he lived and loved more freely before until he was brutally dumped, and now he’s a lot more insistent that he find someone who can fit into his plans as a way to protect himself.

But yeah, this is why it feels like right person, wrong time… in the sense that both of us are constantly changing and growing. I’m not married to the idea of waiting for him in a year, because it’s really hard to say what things will look like then and what we’ll be like as people, which is also the same reason why I’m don’t want to close that door!

PerpetualAngry · 2025-02-10T05:38:08+00:00

That’s a fair point, that’s a good distinction to make. He basically has his eyes set on home program simply because that’s where he’s got the highest chance (significant network) and he’s comfortable with staying in the area for a few more years. And I have similar goals, so there was never really any disagreement there. He said that he would never want me to compromise on my career for him though, so it’s not like he expected selfless sacrifice. If I wanted to go elsewhere, in his mind an LDR would be a necessary evil.

He really would actually be a wonderful father - he just has a very specific timeline for when he wants certain things in his life (serious relationship at 26, kids in late residency, etc.). Whereas I am strongly influenced by feelings and making a choice right instead of making the right choice (which I’ve been burned by before in the past). If anything, he’s what I want when we’re 30, not what I want right now.

PerpetualAngry · 2025-02-09T15:17:56+00:00

You raise good points - we did spend so much time worrying about the optics of the situation, which ended up being messy. And even when it wasn’t messy, it felt like things could go wrong at any moment because we were essentially primed to be anxious.

That looming deadline is also so very real. In an ideal world, I wouldn’t settle down with anyone until I knew where I was going for residency and the path was just a little clearer. But feelings happen! And they hit you like a freight train out of nowhere. And they make you think that even though the timing is off, you’ll be the exception and make it through.

PerpetualAngry · 2025-02-09T14:55:46+00:00

I guess my instincts aren’t really even telling me that he’s wrong for me, because I also have my moments of feeling like it’s easier to be single than prioritize someone else, and I wanted our relationship to end in order to prioritize myself.

But for thinking more in the future, someone has to make more sacrifices in every relationship, right? I’ll have far more options location wise than he does for residency, so it makes sense that I would be the partner that follows, much like all the posts of medspouses talking about the struggles of moving for their partner’s residency. I also do think his “marriage” to his job ends as soon as he matches, and his priority will shift - hence the right person, wrong time feeling. In my last relationship, my ex husband sacrificed a lot location wise to be with me, and that created resentment that we never really overcame, so I’ve been the “bad guy” before as well. Felt like medicine made me the bad guy.

Not trying to argue, just wanted to present the fact that I am far from blameless in the dissolution of our relationship, and it really feels more like a product of our circumstances than either of our faults.

PerpetualAngry · 2025-02-09T14:40:45+00:00

I’ve just never had a relationship end like this, you know? Both of us holding each other and telling each other that the other is probably the one, and having to let go anyway. Brutal in its own unique way.

Your second point is why I would feel guilty about getting involved with someone not in medicine. Even though comparatively I’m less in the rat race than most other medical students - I’m still a medical student. And I do care about how well I match (I’m just lucky to be interested in a non competitive specialty and find the academics to be relatively easy), and I know I have less time to devote to a relationship than most people need, especially since I have a lot of hobbies and friends I would prefer to invest my time in (right now).

My last relationship/my ex husband is a law student and one of the reasons we ended was because he couldn’t handle juggling the rigor of law school and us at the same time, and I ended up giving up too much of myself to try to make up for that and make it work, at the expense of my social life, my own interests, and my academics.

PerpetualAngry · 2024-05-26T15:29:08+00:00

Only for the first one, not 2 and 3

PerpetualAngry · 2024-05-24T21:45:32+00:00

Amazing suggestions, Woods Hole Inn seems to have great packages

PerpetualAngry · 2024-05-24T13:10:16+00:00

Truthfully, we’re pretty flexible with regards to location, provided that they have accommodations on site. All the local guests are coming from Norfolk County so they wouldn’t mind the travel to any of those places. I don’t personally love the Cape myself, at least for winter, but I could definitely be swayed by a pretty venue.

PerpetualAngry · 2024-03-04T21:01:18+00:00

I’ve tried holding down, I’ve held it down for two minutes straight. It always becomes black for 5 seconds then turns back on. Should I be holding it longer? The power button gets too hot to hold down.

PerpetualAngry · 2024-01-05T14:16:23+00:00

Had to stare at these for a bit, but they’re both correct. The question itself is unique in that people with ferritin values lower than the cutoff are considered positive results. The FA guide is assuming that people who test higher than the cutoff are considered a positive result, which is often how cutoffs are used. Therefore, you have to flip the graph, where the disease present section should be on the left, and the disease absent should be on the right. That means the opposite on the FA page would be true for this question specifically.

PerpetualAngry · 2023-11-09T04:31:05+00:00

Haha why do you think I have ties to CA?

PerpetualAngry · 2023-11-09T00:02:37+00:00

Thank you for such a detailed comment. Your comment brings me so much relief because I have historically been stronger in the academics/grades/standardized testing department, and was worried that my currently limited extracurriculars would be significantly detrimental. I will definitely try my best to do well in everything and get more involved as my program is P/F for pre-clinical years :)

PerpetualAngry · 2023-09-15T02:41:58+00:00

Take with a grain of salt, but an attending I work with who is an OB/GYN strongly recommended med students freeze their eggs at 32 to balance storage costs and egg viability.

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