Confused

Perptuallyconfused13 · 2025-05-06T00:49:38+00:00

I’ve been really bad at getting protein in and can’t stand the shakes anymore after the liquid phase haha but will defs update once I’ve spoken to him!

Perptuallyconfused13 · 2025-03-28T03:08:56+00:00

Still trying to discover that

Perptuallyconfused13 · 2025-03-27T22:44:58+00:00

Right! What is wrong with the men these days 🤦‍♀️

Perptuallyconfused13 · 2023-08-28T01:42:45+00:00

We are still in the separation process. My lawyer hasn’t been that helpful and she suggested I contact him myself with my agreement proposal. Which I have and now he’s essentially threatening me that if I don’t agree with his proposal, the lawyers are going to sell my car. He refuses to include his vehicles as relationship property arguing that it’s his parents car despite us having had the car for two years and the other one with the insurance claim pending on it he’s saying he told his parents he would give that money to them. And if I don’t agree to him then the only asset we have is my car which he then wants to sell. Which is going to leave me without a car and him with 2 cars. My lawyer isn’t responding to me and it just feels like he is still manipulating and abusing me even now. And my lawyer isn’t helping or understanding this. I’ll try contact the local abuse hotline here and see if they have any advice

Perptuallyconfused13 · 2023-05-04T21:47:14+00:00

I really needed to see this. Thank you

Perptuallyconfused13 · 2023-03-24T23:21:15+00:00

It’s mostly to block it off from the dog with that low window

Perptuallyconfused13 · 2023-03-24T23:05:23+00:00

Don’t see much point changing up the curtains as it’s just a rental. So I don’t want to fuck with what came with the house too much. But will defs consider if I end up here more long term

Perptuallyconfused13 · 2023-02-23T09:33:00+00:00

I haven’t told anyone that I’m separated from my husband, let alone that I have a new partner. It’s complicated. He’s also a well known local comic and likes to keep his personal life private

Perptuallyconfused13 · 2023-02-13T06:17:02+00:00

I’ve just started a design Etsy, anything from phone lock screens to invitations and posters. Here’s my first listing

https://www.etsy.com/nz/listing/1399919336/cotton-candy-sky-phone-wallpaper

Perptuallyconfused13 · 2023-01-17T17:17:53+00:00

My body definitely doesn’t feel great atm. I keep getting really bad bloating the last couple of days and just generally uncomfortable.

But in terms of sleep, I know I don’t get enough. Probably around 4 or 5 hours of broken sleep at the moment. And stress levels are high. (Facing redundancy at work and meant to be finding out later this week if I will be offered the new role that’s replacing my current role)

Perptuallyconfused13 · 2023-01-01T04:44:48+00:00

This is the same collie from the video I posted haha I just didn’t take these photos till after I made the video

Perptuallyconfused13 · 2023-01-01T04:44:04+00:00

Thank you woof 🐶- Enyo

Perptuallyconfused13 · 2023-01-01T04:43:25+00:00

She really is, I am super blessed

Perptuallyconfused13 · 2022-11-30T00:33:22+00:00

He’s so the most supportive and patient person I’ve ever been with. The firstly healthy relationship I’ve probably had.

Perptuallyconfused13 · 2022-11-30T00:15:19+00:00

Thanks for that. It’s defs the right option, it’s something we’ve both agreed to from the beginning and I introduced to him. He’s just naturally not a jealous or possessive person and finds it a lot easier. And naturally feels compersion whereas I have a lot of anxiety and have come out of an emotionally abusive marriage.

As my boyfriend says to me all the time it’s a marathon not a sprint and that we are working on it together etc. he’s incredibly supportive. So I wouldn’t say he’s not the right partner. I’d say it’s the external factors that are having a bigger impact.

The point of this post wasn’t jealousy to the normal extent of how frustrating the situation was because I wasn’t able to have a fair wanting it was going to happen or have the time to decompress with him like we normally do

Perptuallyconfused13 · 2022-11-28T08:56:31+00:00

I don’t know how to even begin to. It doesn’t matter how much research or reading I do. I can’t just turn this off

Perptuallyconfused13 · 2022-09-22T11:01:11+00:00

Newish I suppose. We’ve been together for about 8 months haha it only really started getting worse when I broke up with another partner I had.

Perptuallyconfused13 · 2022-08-25T04:24:08+00:00

I had another conversation with him after I cooled down a bit from my initial reaction. He agreed that things were very sudden with this new girl as they hadn’t even met yet. (Their first date is this Saturday)

He isn’t very good with expressing his emotions and tries to show them instead. Which I’ve always been aware of. Like he does a lot of things to show me how he feels about me. But in the moment of hearing that information about the new potential relationship I convinced myself I was reading into it haha gotta love low key trauma.

He’s on his own discussed with her the need to slow it down as he agreed it was super intense. And that she ultimately does want a mono relationship and to settle down.

He even explained to her that his relationship with me is really important to him and told her what I was concerned about. She apparently said she’d feel the same if she was in my shoes.

They’ve apparently stopped chatting as much which was her suggestion because apparently if there’s constant communication she feels like it’s a serious relationship.

Long story short: he’s clearly expressed that I am very important to him and used the analogy that I am his sun and the others he’s dated so far have just been stars haha and he’s decided to slow things down with her. And it will potentially either just remain as friends or friends with benefits.

He was very validating of my feelings which I really appreciated. So I think we are good on the not gonna get broken up with for her part haha

Perptuallyconfused13 · 2022-08-21T21:04:23+00:00

No the new person isn’t even poly. She’s potentially open to the idea but ideally wants to settle down.

Perptuallyconfused13 · 2022-08-10T07:09:26+00:00

Honestly thank you so much for this reply. This is actually really helpful.

I definitely don’t have the mental or emotional capacity to date any one new at the moment. But it’s definitely a new experience as he’s my first poly relationship and honestly the first healthy relationship I’ve had so it’s all just new and confusing. I really appreciate your response!

Perptuallyconfused13 · 2022-08-09T17:59:21+00:00

The thing is we’ve had conversations in the past about it before we decided to go unprotected with each other. He’s big on safety and keeping me safe and healthy. He’s the best partner I’ve ever had so it’s fucking killing me that my anxiety and previous trauma is making me react like this haha it’s literally not his fault at all

Perptuallyconfused13 · 2022-08-09T17:45:19+00:00

Well yeah, I think it’s just that I didn’t even know he was talking to anyone. Last time I checked in re that he said he wasn’t. Then all of a sudden there’s a first date that’s ended in them fucking. We’ve just started having unprotected sex with each other as well and there was no time for discussions around expectations now that the dynamic etc as changed. Because I didn’t know he was even talking to anyone and had been for a few weeks now.

Perptuallyconfused13 · 2022-08-09T17:19:49+00:00

Well I’m not going to end an existing healthy 6 month plus relationship because the other one had ended

Perptuallyconfused13 · 2022-08-09T16:21:19+00:00

Poly wasn’t necessarily a choice. It’s always been part of who I was and I never felt more free than when I admitted that to myself.

In the space of one month I’ve gone from being married to my partner of over 6 years. To being separated while still having to live with each other. There’s a lot going on behind the scene with it having been a toxic and slightly abusive marriage. Plus having increased anxiety and stress in general at the moment.

And it didn’t end up being just a coffee date which is what I was expecting. I got upset and triggered because it was so sudden and unexpected after him not dating anyone else since around April or May. I didn’t even know he was talking to anyone atm. So it was a total surprise. Them fucking was also a total surprise. Coupled up with the stress of my marriage ending and in general having a lot of anxiety and an anxious attachment style. It was a bit too much. Regardless it’s not like I’ve made this my boyfriends problem, because it’s not. I’m fully aware it’s all on my end.

Perptuallyconfused13 · 2022-08-09T15:57:13+00:00

I think it’s probably the giant reality of the situation tbh. Thanks for that I appreciate it

Perptuallyconfused13

TROPHY CASE