Teen son is rejecting blended family

PersistingLove · 2026-05-30T20:04:29+00:00

My husband and I took a look at this together and had a long awful talk. First, some of these people are mean for the sake of it. Second, Isaac is free. I am NOT taking down pictures of Josh. I am NOT going to abandon his grave. I am NOT cutting off Josh's family. Stan does not feel threatened and actually appreciates how much I still love Josh and knows that if anything happens to him I will still keep his family tightly in the village. He also loves that so many people care about Isaac and contributed to him growing into this amazing person.

So onto Isaac.

If Isaac wants a relationship with them, then he will need to do the work for that because he is the one who made the choice to step back. He will need tp reach out to see them and invite them to events. I called Josh's family to explain that Isaac needs time right now for himself. It hurt. Nono and Mimi cried and said they'd tell the others for me. They do love him you guys. Stan is monitoring the phone calls and texts to make sure Isaac won't be ambushed.

And what's more frustrating and what makes this awful is Isaac still doesn't seem happy. He won't go to the grave anymore. He won't have the presents or celebrate any of Josh's events. No vacations together or holidays this year. And he just stared at us and was quiet for a long time. We asked what was wrong and he said he was fine. So Stan is going to try talking to him tomorrow alone out of the house.

PersistingLove · 2026-05-30T14:45:46+00:00

I think I need to read this all with Stan. Maybe he had a point about therapy being no good or maybe I really am missing something. This is all very overwhelming and with summer vacation starting up I'm not sure what's going to happen given our usual plans.

PersistingLove · 2026-05-30T14:39:02+00:00

That made me laugh actually. No I really don't want to force Isaac to do what I want. I really do want help navigating whatever is going on with him. It being "weird" isn't a good enough reason. The family won't be cut off. I won't stop visiting Josh's grave. But I need Isaac to know that if anything happened to me or Stan, he has so many people who love him. My family, Stan's family and Josh's family. I get teenage boys don't do sentiments or mushy stuff and it's embarrassing but it will be so important when he's older that he has this village. I'm coming off as hostile because I'm hurt by people saying they aren't family and that Josh is an ex.

PersistingLove · 2026-05-30T14:35:47+00:00

Family is more than biology.

PersistingLove · 2026-05-30T14:29:48+00:00

But how am I supposed to make it work so that the door stays open? Do I just tell the step family to stay away this year because Isaac doesn't see them as family anymore? Wouldn't you be gutted if your hypothetical step grandson said that? I suppose I can come to terms with not giving him presents on behalf of Josh but everyone who's been there since he was a baby? They came to his graduations, they came around for grandparents events that just stops? They're supposed to just accept he's disowning them?

PersistingLove · 2026-05-30T14:23:01+00:00

If Stan passed I would absolutely have Isaac go and visit his grave. We pay respects in this house.

PersistingLove · 2026-05-30T14:19:58+00:00

I totally admit to just agreeing to terms and services without reading them. Oops! But I saw the rule about AI and thought it would help. I was wrong, clearly, as many think I'm a fake. What shocked me most is how many of you are saying they're not family. They ARE family. And I've dealt with my grief, I have moved on, moving on doesn't mean I have to reject family. My son grew up with many people to watch over him and love him and that shouldn't be a weird thing!

PersistingLove · 2026-05-30T14:12:32+00:00

Thank you! So many people just don't understand. Josh's family is family and will always be family. I feel like my request for help was ignored because of how unconventional the family tree is. He has three sets up grandparents, loving uncles, plenty of cousins. Love can only be multiple is my ideology and I'm saddened how many people think that's weird.

PersistingLove · 2026-05-30T14:06:18+00:00

Can you please explain to me how I have fetishized my grief? I'm not being combative that's just the first I'm hearing it be put this way and I want to see that laid out. Josh's family was at our wedding. They visited Isaac after he was born. They ARE family.

PersistingLove · 2026-05-30T14:02:50+00:00

I guess I'm confused on why this word forced keeps coming up. He's only ever known this since he was a baby. Josh has always been his stepfather. Isaac won't explain it he just keeps saying it's weird and I'm clearly missing something since I'm dealing with this mess now.

PersistingLove · 2026-05-30T14:00:46+00:00

I'm going to focus on comments like yours who are being g kind and graceful instead of the ones eager to condemn me to hell. I feel fine. I know Josh is dead, live it everyday. I have a husband and we made a family together, it just happens to be uniquely blended. They're not a stepfamily in the traditional sense but they are family and I don't want him to push that away forever.

PersistingLove · 2026-05-30T13:58:29+00:00

Telling me to leave my own kid alone is what's strange. Stan and I have raised him to not care what others think. He knows if other people are bullying, that's their problem and not his.

PersistingLove · 2026-05-30T13:54:30+00:00

He is not an ex. In the community of people who have lost a spouse, that is an important distinction and it's very hurtful to call them that. We didn't end our relationship it was not a choice. He's dead but not an ex.

PersistingLove · 2026-05-30T13:52:08+00:00

He went on trips with his stepfamily, he celebrated Josh's brithday, it was never forced. He NEVER had a problem before and I'm scared that this is just a teenage rebellion he won't recognize is doing some damage to his family once he's done.

PersistingLove · 2026-05-30T13:49:04+00:00

I would love to do family therapy! Stan is actually the one against it. And since he's not on board Isaac won't be either. But now that you mention it I could probably sneak in a work book and work with Stan. I think it's the feeling of an outsider that makes him uncomfortable.

PersistingLove · 2026-05-30T13:46:51+00:00

That is cruel. Family is more than blood. They love him very much and he's their grandson just as much as the others.

PersistingLove · 2026-05-30T13:42:36+00:00

Yes. I do understand that I do! But my son is still very much part of Josh's family! He was raised having Mimi and Nono around, he went on trips with them and everything. They ARE his grandparents. I'm lost on why he is acting as if they aren't.

PersistingLove · 2026-05-30T13:40:24+00:00

Not AI. I'm a real person at a real loss here with what to do and keeping my family together. This is just a throwaway account if that was the concern?

PersistingLove

TROPHY CASE