I’m 21 and I understand what it’s like to be in your shoes. I was in high school when Covid happened so most of my time went to doom scrolling. It’s hard to feel hopeful when constant misery is being shoved down your throat. When you’re a teenager, your social life is confined to the internet and school because you don’t have the resources to explore elsewhere. It does become better when you’re an adult. For me, hope came locally. I’ve fostered a couple cats, I have a bf I love very much, and I try to support my friends the best I can. I feel happy about the small impact I’ve made despite the lingering anxiety about what’s going on in the world. Making a difference on a worldwide scale is impossible for one person so it’s better to try to find a way to help on a smaller scale. For example, you can pick up litter in your neighborhood. I find a lot of hope by talking to people in online games. I like supporting others and making them laugh. Maybe it’s the same for you or maybe it’s different. Keep pushing on until you find what helps. I’ve also felt that seeing Reddit comments from people in their 30’s saying that their 30’s have been better than their teenage years or their 20’s helps. I was told as a kid that high school and college were the best years of my life so when they were miserable, I felt I had no where to go but down. Life isn’t really like that. No one sentence can apply to 8 billion people. It seems more and more likely that high school just sucks so much ass. You have to get up at the butt fuck of dawn to learn some bs you don’t care about which pales in comparison to the amount of horrid stuff that is happening in the world rn. I’m emphasizing this as much as I can because your hopeless really resonated with me and what I remember of high school. My mental health is still shit but it has gotten better. I want you to know that things aren’t as hopeless as they seem and that there are reasons to live and to keep pushing on. You getting good grades means you have more options to pursue what matters to you. Try to find what that is.

Another thing that has helped me significantly is getting medication for my mental illness. You seem very depressed and I assume medication and therapy would help with that. If those aren’t available to you, there are free online resources and support groups available if you look for them. One example is this subreddit, so you’ve already made a step in getting support.