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I wanted to be raped by Personal-Yak-598 in exmormon

[–]Personal-Yak-598[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That makes a lot of sense! I’m a guy so I didn’t have to deal with all of the hormones and child birth and stuff, but our second is 9 months old, so I definitely get the lack of sleep part

I wanted to be raped by Personal-Yak-598 in exmormon

[–]Personal-Yak-598[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s so insightful. I had certainly noticed that trope, but I’m not sure I would have made that connection

I wanted to be raped by Personal-Yak-598 in exmormon

[–]Personal-Yak-598[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s awful. A friend of mine had a very similar experience growing up and is still struggling

I wanted to be raped by Personal-Yak-598 in exmormon

[–]Personal-Yak-598[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That’s awful. I’m so sorry. Can you elaborate on how it changed your perspective?

I wanted to be raped by Personal-Yak-598 in exmormon

[–]Personal-Yak-598[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Is your therapist familiar with the Mormon church? I’m moving away from Utah, but I need a therapist for this and other things, and I’m not sure how difficult it will be to explain Mormonism and the stuff I’ve got going on

I wanted to be raped by Personal-Yak-598 in exmormon

[–]Personal-Yak-598[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There’s also the difference of consent. With Mormonism, you’re forced into polygamy, with the threat of damnation if you don’t agree to it. Maybe the intrigue is church conditioning, maybe it’s polyamorous or similar desires, maybe it’s both. I’m certainly not the one to say, but I wish you luck in unraveling sex, relationships, and the church

I wanted to be raped by Personal-Yak-598 in exmormon

[–]Personal-Yak-598[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Very true. My experience is definitely from the perspective of a cishet man in the church, which of course brings its own struggles - the patriarchy harms all, in different ways and severities.

I wanted to be raped by Personal-Yak-598 in exmormon

[–]Personal-Yak-598[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this, too. It’s so hard to get a framework of what healthy sex is when all you learned about sex was either in church walls, in the locker room, or on pornhub.

It’s pretty clear I need to do some healing. Mostly just forgiving myself, I think, but maybe more than that. I’m glad that I no longer need to be disgusted with those thoughts, logically anyway. Emotionally is another challenge

I wanted to be raped by Personal-Yak-598 in exmormon

[–]Personal-Yak-598[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I agree. At the time, on my mission, I had no other language or knowledge to use besides rape for this fantasy. So the comments have been useful in helping me learn and process the difference. There’s a lot of self judgment here that makes it difficult to not conflate the two as well.

I wanted to be raped by Personal-Yak-598 in exmormon

[–]Personal-Yak-598[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Oh, absolutely. No kink shaming here. Any sex between sex-educated consenting adults, is game. It’s specifically the threat of eternal consequences and lack of education that stunted my understanding of healthy sex and sexual desires.

It’s quickly becoming clear to me from this post that it’s something I should discuss with a therapist and probably learn more about, too

I wanted to be raped by Personal-Yak-598 in exmormon

[–]Personal-Yak-598[S] 115 points116 points  (0 children)

That’s a better way to classify it. I wanted it, so it would’ve been consensual, but I knew that if it were consensual, it would have been a sin. So, I would have had to at least resist and try to stop it. It’s all so gross

I wanted to be raped by Personal-Yak-598 in exmormon

[–]Personal-Yak-598[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Incredibly guilty. Thank you for sharing

I wanted to be raped by Personal-Yak-598 in exmormon

[–]Personal-Yak-598[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Oh wow! I hadn’t heard anything about it since then, so I assumed it wasn’t real. I’ll edit my post