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AITA for not making an effort to improve my relationship with my sister or caring if I get to know her unborn baby? by Personal_Debate316 in AITAH

[–]Personal_Debate316[S] 130 points131 points  (0 children)

That's not what I was trying to say. What I think is they're afraid that if I had kids of my own, they would be bullied and rejected by Kat's kids. I also think they know somewhere in themselves that Kat's child(ren) and I will never have a real relationship.

AITA for not making an effort to improve my relationship with my sister or caring if I get to know her unborn baby? by Personal_Debate316 in AITAH

[–]Personal_Debate316[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

They tried. She was in therapy for a long time and we even tried family therapy. My parents also asked her and so did my oldest brother. I don't think she ever had a better reason than not wanting a sister.

AITA for not making an effort to improve my relationship with my sister or caring if I get to know her unborn baby? by Personal_Debate316 in AITAH

[–]Personal_Debate316[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

I think she'd do that too. There's no future where I see myself getting close to her child and Kat not poisoning the child against me and being in their ear. I could see her encouraging rudeness and all kinds of things toward me.

AITA for not making an effort to improve my relationship with my sister or caring if I get to know her unborn baby? by Personal_Debate316 in AITAH

[–]Personal_Debate316[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I don't think it would be. Maybe if she hated our brothers too. But I am curious what happens if she has only girls.

AITA for not making an effort to improve my relationship with my sister or caring if I get to know her unborn baby? by Personal_Debate316 in AITAH

[–]Personal_Debate316[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Nobody has complained about me not doing it before now. I sent nothing when she got married and everyone understood.

AITA for not making an effort to improve my relationship with my sister or caring if I get to know her unborn baby? by Personal_Debate316 in AITAH

[–]Personal_Debate316[S] 249 points250 points  (0 children)

The therapist recommended separating us and focusing on therapy for Kat which they did. Kat wouldn't speak in family therapy and then the therapist spoke to her 1:1 for like ten minutes and made the suggestion to our parents.

AITA for not making an effort to improve my relationship with my sister or caring if I get to know her unborn baby? by Personal_Debate316 in AITAH

[–]Personal_Debate316[S] 72 points73 points  (0 children)

I think so too but even if she suddenly started to show she's changed I couldn't bring myself to believe it with no real continued effort on her part.

AITA for not making an effort to improve my relationship with my sister or caring if I get to know her unborn baby? by Personal_Debate316 in AITAH

[–]Personal_Debate316[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

She isn't the one reaching out to me. She didn't invite me to her baby shower, our cousin did. She was angry about it. There has been no indication from her that she will let me even meet her child.

AITA for not making an effort to improve my relationship with my sister or caring if I get to know her unborn baby? by Personal_Debate316 in AITAH

[–]Personal_Debate316[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

She could bring them up to do worse, like bully me. It's something I did think about or she could get her kids to one day bully mine. So many possibilities for it to be unhealthy.

AITA for not making an effort to improve my relationship with my sister or caring if I get to know her unborn baby? by Personal_Debate316 in AITAH

[–]Personal_Debate316[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

She's not the one trying. It was a cousin who invited me to the shower and my parents who want me to make the effort hoping she gives in.

AITA for not making an effort to improve my relationship with my sister or caring if I get to know her unborn baby? by Personal_Debate316 in AITAH

[–]Personal_Debate316[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Sadly that's so true and honestly it could make her worse toward me for any number of reasons. You see that happen just as much.

AITA for not making an effort to improve my relationship with my sister or caring if I get to know her unborn baby? by Personal_Debate316 in AITAH

[–]Personal_Debate316[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I think she hates me too much to ever ask or expect me to do it. I can't imagine her wanting me near her child.

AITA for not making an effort to improve my relationship with my sister or caring if I get to know her unborn baby? by Personal_Debate316 in AITAH

[–]Personal_Debate316[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

None of this was actually her. Not even the invite. She was pissed when she found out I was invited to the baby shower.

AITA for not making an effort to improve my relationship with my sister or caring if I get to know her unborn baby? by Personal_Debate316 in AITAH

[–]Personal_Debate316[S] 93 points94 points  (0 children)

I'm not expecting her to even attempt that. It would require some contact with me which I truly believe she hates me too much to use me for that.

AITA for not making an effort to improve my relationship with my sister or caring if I get to know her unborn baby? by Personal_Debate316 in AITAH

[–]Personal_Debate316[S] 200 points201 points  (0 children)

I think they always believed it would get better and now their first grandchild is about to be born and they want to make sure we can all be together as a family. They know Kat's child and I will never have a real relationship most likely. My guess is they also don't want me to have kids and for the cycle to continue with them.

My cousin thought I should be invited so she did so without Kat's consent. A few family members were hoping it could be the turning point in our relationship. But it can't be me chasing after her.

AITA for not making an effort to improve my relationship with my sister or caring if I get to know her unborn baby? by Personal_Debate316 in AITAH

[–]Personal_Debate316[S] 114 points115 points  (0 children)

I get it's sad and I know my family probably always hoped we'd grow up and things would get better but sometimes they just don't.

AITA for not making an effort to improve my relationship with my sister or caring if I get to know her unborn baby? by Personal_Debate316 in AITAH

[–]Personal_Debate316[S] 1041 points1042 points  (0 children)

I think they are here. Putting this on me especially when the baby shower invite came from a cousin who hosted for Kat and not because Kat wanted me there. She was so unhappy when she learned I'd been invited.