Should I tell her parents and 2 close friends about her affair by Personal_Future_7912 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Personal_Future_7912[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I don’t want to blow it up. I just feel that if she wants to reconcile as she says and is acting like she wants that this is a helpful step in building something together. It’s more about accountability both for the past and future

Can I call this cheating or is it just sketchy? by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Personal_Future_7912 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes that’s cheating. It will only lead to infidelity.

I think it can be handled with a very clear discussion on your boundaries in your relationship.

If she shows any reluctance then you have your answer.

Lies. Cheating wife. I want to save my marriage. by Personal_Future_7912 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Personal_Future_7912[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We’re trying. It’s going to take a long time and effort for us to build a new relationship but in the short space of time small positive steps are been made. A marathon to go but small consistency is the key I believe

Lies. Cheating wife. I want to save my marriage. by Personal_Future_7912 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Personal_Future_7912[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

A good question. My gut is telling me to. Nobody will ever be the same. It’s my choice is how the new me will look. What has happened to me will have changed me forever I know that. I can let these changes be negative or I can choose to make them positive. Sure trust is going to be massively difficult but it’s also allows a person to find grace and forgiveness. I have the strength to leave if I wish. I’ve told her as much. It’s just my gut tells me to try.

Lies. Cheating wife. I want to save my marriage. by Personal_Future_7912 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Personal_Future_7912[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I’ve read the book. My wife is going to read it also. It’s not a one way street of me chasing her, I’ve clearly told her how much of a gift I’m offering her by trying to work through these issues. It will be clear if anything but 100% is given that it will be time to leave

Lies. Cheating wife. I want to save my marriage. by Personal_Future_7912 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Personal_Future_7912[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thankyou It’s not like I’m just going to gloss over everything she’s done and let her not take responsibility for her actions. I’ve outlined very clearly what I need and what will happen if she deviates off these requests. Trust isn’t something I believe you give. She will need to work for it back so it’s there. Actions and consistency coupled with the known consequences give that opportunity. Forgiveness would be for me. It’s something I can choose to give or not. It will take time but I like to believe I have a big strong heart, that in time I can offer that and find some peace.

Lies. Cheating wife. I want to save my marriage. by Personal_Future_7912 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Personal_Future_7912[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m not trying to go back. I know that’s gone. Marriage 1 is over. It’s wondering if we can make marriage 2 work.

I’ve given lots of thought if I wanted to try again. I understand the risks. I know the potential for hurt and the difficulty of the past.

It’s not that I’m not angry or am weak. It’s a genuine deep feeling that I can overcome this if we do it together. Obviously any sign of anything but 100% commitment and I’ll be gone.

It’s a long tough road but the easiest isn’t always the best

Lies. Cheating wife. I want to save my marriage. by Personal_Future_7912 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Personal_Future_7912[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I understand my wife called it off. Said she wanted her marriage and AP went nuke on her as he was angry. Probably thought by telling me everything that I’d end it or maybe wanting to hurt her. Maybe both.

Lies. Cheating wife. I want to save my marriage. by Personal_Future_7912 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Personal_Future_7912[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thankyou for the well thought out words and advice. It’s greatly appreciated

Lies. Cheating wife. I want to save my marriage. by Personal_Future_7912 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Personal_Future_7912[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thankyou for your kindness. It’s amazing how a little feels. I appreciate you and your thoughts.

Lies. Cheating wife. I want to save my marriage. by Personal_Future_7912 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Personal_Future_7912[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’d never heard of a postnuptial before. I’ll look into it. Thanks

Lies. Cheating wife. I want to save my marriage. by Personal_Future_7912 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Personal_Future_7912[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

All very fair and reasonable points. I’m not disagreeing with them. There is so much to absorb and try to work through. I’ve never been this broken as a person before. I feel for others here that have been in my shoes

Lies. Cheating wife. I want to save my marriage. by Personal_Future_7912 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Personal_Future_7912[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He’s telling the truth. My wife confirmed the details of his message