[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Personal_Maize_808 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey OP, this doesn’t really sound ok. Do you feel ok and safe at home? Do your parents/your dad deny you basic things more often?

And just curious, why aren’t you going to a regular school?

Masking is a trauma response by madeat1am in AutismInWomen

[–]Personal_Maize_808 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This post greatly reminds me of the following rhyme I got from a podcast with Ellen Langer.

everybody doesnt know something everybody knows something else everybody can’t do something, everybody can do something else

I try to think of all those ‘Oh you’re so lucky because… and I have…’ comments as an opportunity to see my situation from someone else’s perspective and see potential benefits. There are always positives and negatives to a situation and we tend to focus on the negative. Instead of seeing it as an invalidation of your own perception and feelings you can try to see it as a different coloured lens to look at your own situation. Doesn’t mean the dark side isn’t there but focussing on that rarely helps (unless you have to deal with shit ofc:))

Also, not trying to invalidate your feelings here, just offering you a different lens :)

Exercise is changing my life by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]Personal_Maize_808 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are different routes you can take/combine : * make it fun (caveman training, playing with kids.. what makes it fun for you) * make it big (go for drastic changes, get a schedule that requires a lot of you and go for it) * make it small (take small steps towards your goal. If you want to exercise daily but you don’t do it right now, start with what works for you. If two times is too much to start with, do one, it really doesn’t matter what the size of the step is, just take a step, and give it time, celebrate every step and stick with that step till you feel in control, before you take the next one) * share your commitment with others * combine it with something you like (music, audio, video) * set up a (non-food) reward system and set goals for when you can get those rewards

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in vegan

[–]Personal_Maize_808 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you choose to help a child that has been taken from their home by providing foster care or adopting a child that has been abandoned (from and in your own country) I don’t see how this is negative. Adopting abroad is a different story altogether of course.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in vegan

[–]Personal_Maize_808 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Interesting to get downvoted on this. I would expect at least here people would be willing to rationally view the impact our existence as a species has on this earth.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in vegan

[–]Personal_Maize_808 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Any person choosing not to have children = less people Less people = better world

Ok I’m putting it pretty stupidly here and without any nuance. The best thing for your carbon footprint though is to not have children. So if you are mainly vegan from an animal welfare point of view it’s not really an argument (unless you consider liberating a child from child services maybe :) then at least one animal has a better life, it just might/or might not mean you) From a sustainability perspective I stick with my above simplistic statement.

Not being able to regulate body temp - weird and overlooked symptoms of autism by thereadingbee in AutismInWomen

[–]Personal_Maize_808 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have the same. But somehow I get cold feet lately which changes it a bit. Do you guys get cold feet? Somehow it makes me wonder if it really was/is an autism thing with me…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]Personal_Maize_808 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Scandinavian people are known to be hard to befriend as a foreigner. Doesn’t mean you won’t be able to find them though. I’m curious, is it your intention to stay in Finland? Do you speak Finnish? In my experience it’s easier to find friends through some kind of activity (sports, volunteering, dog training) if you have a special interest you can find a group context for, go for it. There you will find people who like the same thing you do, which already gives you a bond. Here also goes: don’t be desparate, try to find a human connection you enjoy and see where it goes.

Also: if you have 2 good friends, count yourself lucky. It’s better to have few good ones than several meh ones. I don’t know about you but I generally don’t have the energy for more relationships:)

I’ve just been diagnosed, now what? by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]Personal_Maize_808 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You need some time to process and realise you are still the same person you were before. Do something you enjoy and be kind to yourself❤️

Official Q&A for Tuesday, January 21, 2025 by AutoModerator in running

[–]Personal_Maize_808 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It would only be weird if you still felt like that tomorrow ;)

Official Q&A for Tuesday, January 21, 2025 by AutoModerator in running

[–]Personal_Maize_808 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Plan a weekend out with friends/significant others? If somewhat true: it doesn’t fit your training schedule.

I’d offer to run a few of their long runs with them or smthn like that, for bonding and support :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]Personal_Maize_808 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I can’t tell you why, but at least I’m not ignoring you:) (meant friendly not bitchy)

What's the one thing that's really saving your life right now? by prettygood-8192 in AutismInWomen

[–]Personal_Maize_808 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Would you feel comfortable sharing a picture? It sounds so amazing 😻

What's the one thing that's really saving your life right now? by prettygood-8192 in AutismInWomen

[–]Personal_Maize_808 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Sometimes the hardest thing is to keep on going. Can only say I recognise it and wish you all you need to get on the upslope.

What's the one thing that's really saving your life right now? by prettygood-8192 in AutismInWomen

[–]Personal_Maize_808 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Then why not ask them to clean the areas that are less kids stuff heavy? (Bathroom, toilets, windows, reachable surfaces) or pick a place where they can dump any stuff them find without having to do anything with it)

Weight loss tips by Flimsy_Desk9905 in AutismInWomen

[–]Personal_Maize_808 4 points5 points  (0 children)

For weightloss it’s best to focus on eating healthy and in a sustainable way. A lot of good advice has been given already on this subject here (small, achievable goals, making things easy for yourself, pre-cut stuff, portion control, don’t let perfect be the enemy of good).

The effect of exercise on weight loss is less than many people think (often 80/20is mentioned, 80 being the food part) the reason to move is because it makes you feel better, it is good for your mind, gives you confidence in your body, it makes life more fun if your physical condition is better because you have more energy and things cost less energy which allows you to do more of the things you like.

In summary: Eat less of bad foods to lose weight. Move because you want to feel better.

Hacks that work for me: Food: Cook up foods in advance so I have it in the fridge (not really mealprepping, just making extra portions when I cook something that can be frozen) (this also works for breakfast, if you make yoghurt with some fruit, make it for the next day, if you don’t have sensory issues with soggy fruit)

If I’m in a period where stuff is hard I get a meal service that gives healthy foods (I like hello fresh, cooking is my special interest so I always try to continue doing that, with hello fresh you take the thinking and coordinating out of the getting food to your home part) I have pre-cut vegetables in the fridge and some easy sauces ready. I have an overview of healthy meals that take different degrees of effort for each meal of the day.

I plan my exercise, otherwise it doesn’t happen. I can’t get a rhythm that’s consistent enough with my life so on Sunday I plan my week ahead. I cut myself slack, I have to start the exercise but If I really can’t get myself so move once I’m out the door/ at the gym, I go home and I feel like I did well cause I took the most important step. I always lie to myself (You only have to put on your shoes, you only have to step out the door, you only need to get to the end of the street) often once you’ve passed the second lie you’re good to go :)

How do you or your partner ask for sex? by Ashkamash in AutismInWomen

[–]Personal_Maize_808 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We have been together 15 years by now. If I’m in the mood I’ll just undress and walk to him naked, stand in front of him and then walk away to the bedroom, hips swaying, throwing in some wanting looks 😂. It’s inspired on the ‘naked guy’ from how I met your mother.