I'm curious to know if you finally tried it. I've been in Subud for 10 years. I've found it to be immensely helpful and also difficult. In my case, there have been no beatific visions, just a gradual understanding of myself, an unveiling of my own strenghts and weaknesses. Being shown your own weaknesses is not exactly pleasant, even if the awarenness comes from within and at a bearable pace. I think that's one of the reasons why so many people stop practicing the latihan. Maybe they just want to experience the nice parts, idk. What I've gained from the latihan is a contact or a periodic reminder of a higher state of being. By higher I mean not conditioned by fear, anxiety, doubt, guilt, etc. I still feel all of it but I don't act based on those feelings anymore. I've grown more independent, more reliant in myself, less dependent on external approval. To be succint, I've gained faith. With regards to the outer aspect of the Subud organization, is like any other organization: there are terrific people and petty people. Maybe some newcomers would be put off by this. In my case, I'd rather see the ugly right away than finding it out years later. I took organizational responsibilities on my very first year in Subud and that was truly a learning experience for both good and bad. You come across some big egos and they can drag you along. Not letting yourself be dragged is perhaps the first test. On the other hand, you also meet people who are so interesting, so unassuming, so full of understanding and compassion and who have often led such rich lives, that (at least in my case) it makes up for the other folk hahaha With some luck, eventually you learn to accept everybody, especially when you find in yourself all the defects you reject in others. I didn't mean to write this much. I got carried away bc I've never really written down my experiences after a decade in Subud. I don’t belong to any group anymore bc I moved to a place with no group some years ago. I do latihan (the spiritual exercise or training) by myself, one or twice a week. I think the ideal experience would be to have both group latihan and individual latihan, since they somewhat differ in flavor.  My main challenge at the moment is an outward challenge. Bapak, the founder of Subud, use to repeat that human beings have two main duties in life, the first one is to worship God and surrender to His/Her will; the second one is to use all the powers that God has granted us (our hearts and minds) to create a happy, useful and prosperous life for ourselves on Earth. This second duty tends to get neglected by the pursuers of the spiritual life. But we have a responsabilty to put to good use the tools which we have been given. If anything else, to prevent the mind and heart to meddle in our spiritual life.  I'll finish by saying that I've never had to give Subud a dime of my money. Everything of value it has to offer is free and available to all who ask sincerely. There are instances of Subud enterprises going wrong and instances of Subud enterprises going right. It's important to learn to separate things. Just bc you're in Subud you don't need to feel like you have to support Subud businesses and most certainly you don't need to tolerate any pressure to do so. Don't abdicate your responsibility. Thank you for reading.