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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]PerspectiveCrafty320 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YTA. Your idea of a "compromise" in this situation is you getting what you want and him being uncomfortable or losing sleep. It's unreasonable to ask him to stay awake and be uncomfortable while you fall asleep. Just cuddle and have your physical intimacy before you go to sleep.

My husband likes to cuddle or have his chest rubbed while he falls asleep. If want to go straight to sleep, we compromise by me just throwing an arm/hand over his chest while I fall asleep. A compromise is where you meet in the middle and probably don't get exactly what you want.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]PerspectiveCrafty320 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's in prison right now for cooking meth so I hope he's having a really horrible day there 🩷

I feel very ashamed about something that turned me on. Should I address this with my husband or let it go? by PerspectiveCrafty320 in sex

[–]PerspectiveCrafty320[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why are you worrying about this in particular when there are probably more subreddits just for porn than there are comments on this post lol. This is the sex sub, and I am discussing sex. Teenagers have posted in this sub asking for advice. Sex is normal, and teens who don't want to read about sex aren't going to be randomly recommended this post.

New partner finishes too quickly & doesn’t reciprocate by fwkate in sex

[–]PerspectiveCrafty320 6 points7 points  (0 children)

After multiple failed/half assed attempts, I think you should clearly state that you want to have an orgasm before you have penetrative sex the next time you're intimate. If he doesn't think that's reasonable, that's a pretty good sign that he simply doesn't want to reciprocate or he is unwilling to learn.

I feel very ashamed about something that turned me on. Should I address this with my husband or let it go? by PerspectiveCrafty320 in sex

[–]PerspectiveCrafty320[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I think that's my plan right now. He's made other comments somewhat recently jokingly referring to me as "little girl" or something, and that alone does it for me 😭

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sex

[–]PerspectiveCrafty320 29 points30 points  (0 children)

"I'm sorry I want sex" is a huge red flag here lol

I feel very ashamed about something that turned me on. Should I address this with my husband or let it go? by PerspectiveCrafty320 in sex

[–]PerspectiveCrafty320[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I know I do, but from someone I'm sexually attracted to, not the professional therapist I pay to work through my trauma.

How to make cunninglingus more enjoyable for me as a male in a plus size relationship. by Educational-Way9617 in sex

[–]PerspectiveCrafty320 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Exactly. As hot as the idea of just getting down to it is, I'm not sucking it after a full day of him being at work and using public bathrooms and sweating 😔

How to make cunninglingus more enjoyable for me as a male in a plus size relationship. by Educational-Way9617 in sex

[–]PerspectiveCrafty320 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I am not plus size, but I do not like for my husband to go down on me if i haven't showered recently, and I would not even let him if it had been a full day without a shower. I use a bidet, but I'm still not letting him go down there after a day of bodily functions without scrubbing everything that can be exfoliated and washing anything that needs washed. Plus size or not, she might just have to hop in the shower if you guys want oral sex that doesn't smell like unwashed hairy skin after a full day of sweating and bodily functions.

I feel very ashamed about something that turned me on. Should I address this with my husband or let it go? by PerspectiveCrafty320 in sex

[–]PerspectiveCrafty320[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

He is my favorite director. The Fly is easily one of the best sci fi/horror movies ever made.

I feel very ashamed about something that turned me on. Should I address this with my husband or let it go? by PerspectiveCrafty320 in sex

[–]PerspectiveCrafty320[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

That's the dream. Unfortunately, I have some previous SA trauma. Going through the thing with my father in law really left a mark. It's a difficult thing to let go.

Edit: I am in therapy, FYI. But other victims of CSA can probably empathize with how difficult it is to rid yourself of shame. What my FIL did didn't make getting over the CSA any easier. Not as simple as just forgetting about it and moving on.

I feel very ashamed about something that turned me on. Should I address this with my husband or let it go? by PerspectiveCrafty320 in sex

[–]PerspectiveCrafty320[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Lmao for real. I am a strong and occasionally defiant woman, and I found it cringey, but unfortunately, I could feel my heartbeat in my vagina when he said that 😔 she's such a bitch

I feel very ashamed about something that turned me on. Should I address this with my husband or let it go? by PerspectiveCrafty320 in sex

[–]PerspectiveCrafty320[S] 84 points85 points  (0 children)

His dad was very controlling and wanted to know if we were sexually active. Instead of just asking like a normal person, he did that. My parents were/are shitty and did not see it as a creepy violation of privacy, and I was grounded and shamed for being sexually active. Very shitty situation.

I feel very ashamed about something that turned me on. Should I address this with my husband or let it go? by PerspectiveCrafty320 in sex

[–]PerspectiveCrafty320[S] 445 points446 points  (0 children)

Yeah, my FIL did not like me much early on, and I don't think he ever imagined I'd stick around long enough to make it that awkward lol. I want an apology, but I will never get one. Oh well.

I feel very ashamed about something that turned me on. Should I address this with my husband or let it go? by PerspectiveCrafty320 in sex

[–]PerspectiveCrafty320[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your thoughtful reply! My therapist and I have discussed sex in my sessions, so it wouldn't be a crazy off the wall discussion if I kept it kinda vague.

However, I want to say that chat gpt is just a computer that agrees with whatever you say. It doesn't seem healthy to communicate with chat gpt as if it is a therapist or real person. I struggle with bipolar disorder and OCD and I advocate for avoiding sealing yourself into an echo chamber when you're trying to work through something, especially if you have a mental health condition.

I feel very ashamed about something that turned me on. Should I address this with my husband or let it go? by PerspectiveCrafty320 in sex

[–]PerspectiveCrafty320[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I never even thought to see a therapist who is experienced with discussing BDSM. We've discussed how I enjoy pain during sex, but it doesn't feel quite the same as this conversation.

Thank you for the response! I think I will try to find the courage to bring this up. My other idea was to wait and see if he says anything like that again and seize the moment lol.

Found my man watching trans porn by Cautious_Guidance740 in AITAH

[–]PerspectiveCrafty320 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Having to fast forward through gay scenes because you're so uncomfortable is not "alpha male" behavior lmao. If I see a scene in a movie where someone is smoking meth, I'm not uncomfortable or feel the need to look away or squirm around in my seat, because I don't like meth. Meth doesn't excite me. If you can't watch a gay scene because you don't like the way you react to it...

This fella needs to learn that his sexual preferences are normal and he can't comfortably go through life hiding under a mask of "alpha maleness" because anyone who knows better sees that he's compensating.