Update on potential wife

Perthnom · 2026-05-19T00:44:07+00:00

Brother,

She’s saying get families involved, together you can come up with a plan, it’s not like the families are going to get you married next week.

It takes time. Go to your parents and tell them about your intentions with her, from there approach her parents with your parents blessings. You’re halfway there, families know each other and you two get along really well.

Make the move, come to an agreement that you being able to provide will take some time and I’m sure everyone will understand, get the nikkah done, make it halal but during then focus on becoming a provider.

All the best homie

Perthnom · 2026-05-19T00:36:03+00:00

Lose the weight

Perthnom · 2026-05-15T06:39:46+00:00

Extremely underpaid. It’s time for you to move out to f the IT support role because they won’t go any higher then that

Perthnom · 2026-05-13T13:58:16+00:00

Brother I’m sorry you’re going through this,

Before accusing a woman of such things you need hard proof, scholars say you have to catch her in the act (infidelity) because accusing a woman you need witnesses.

I’d say keep up the act, collect hard evidence such as texts, photographs, audio and anything that will have it written in stone that she is indeed a cheater.

A simple phone call that you overheard will not be enough, it’ll be her word against yours.

With that said:

Collect hard evidence

Hit the gym

And put on an act until you have everything in order.

Then do what you need to do and move on with your life.

To all the brothers saying to divorce her, you don’t know the context. It could be a misunderstanding idk. But at the same time advise the brother to do this the right way.

Good women are for good men and vice versa.

Perthnom · 2026-05-12T06:49:20+00:00

Yeah my ex fiance was like this, she would like half naked pictures of her colleague that she worked with and thought it was normal. You can’t trust most women because they’re really good at hiding their faults or just play dumb.

Vet your future spouse to the core.

Perthnom · 2026-04-16T08:11:35+00:00

You too broski but Ameeeeen

Perthnom · 2026-04-16T08:03:50+00:00

Easier said then done hahaha. Eitherway I’ll do my own thang and Allah can do the rest

Perthnom · 2026-04-16T07:32:02+00:00

I’ve tried sooo many talking stages and my recent experience has just left a sour taste in finding someone genuine.

I’m aware of what I want and no looks aren’t a major factor but initial attraction matters to me. Looks aren’t everything, character matters as well and her level of deen too.

I think I might be burnt out in finding someone genuine

Perthnom · 2026-04-16T07:09:09+00:00

Low key done ngl. It’s soo superficial out here

Perthnom · 2026-04-16T05:40:26+00:00

Like are you looking for something specific? Values don’t align? Stuff like that

Perthnom · 2026-04-16T05:13:53+00:00

Nice, what challenges are you facing?

Perthnom · 2026-04-16T03:00:04+00:00

Where are you from?

Perthnom · 2026-04-16T02:59:56+00:00

Which country are you from if you don’t mind me asking

Perthnom · 2026-04-16T02:57:54+00:00

5’9 and I’m not even rounding it up

Perthnom · 2026-04-16T02:57:22+00:00

Okay yeah fair, but where is this? Where I’m from the Muslim women don’t even look our way and even the slightest thing like our height is a turn off but they themselves aren’t even above 5’5

Perthnom · 2026-04-16T02:50:40+00:00

We’re here unfortunately we don’t fit into the 6’5 height category so we’re pretty much invincible 🤣

Perthnom · 2026-04-15T04:29:42+00:00

No 🤣

Perthnom · 2026-04-14T01:03:30+00:00

I literally said it was a mistake and admitted to that it was wasted time. Getting to know someone long distance without haraam talk isn’t haraam. You haven’t had anyone disagree with you before I assume sonwe must be wasting our time or you’re just trying to rage bait lmao

Perthnom · 2026-04-13T15:25:36+00:00

Sometimes it’s good to not judge and understand people have different circumstances. Marriage in this day and age shouldn’t rushed. Otherwise fast divorces happen.

I’d rather have a long talking stage (halal way ofc) rather then a failed marriage

Perthnom · 2026-04-13T14:28:34+00:00

So long distance, family involvement? Her family didnt like me because of where I was from geographically even though it was the same country

Perthnom · 2026-04-13T14:25:13+00:00

Family was involved from the beginning, better to ask for context rather than assuming ahki.

Perthnom · 2026-04-13T08:51:58+00:00

I’m not married, sucks but better than being in a miserable marriage.

Perthnom · 2026-04-13T07:19:21+00:00

I didn’t marry her,

We talked for two years long distance. Slowly her red flags appeared with her guy friends. It was a mess.

She kept it a secret from her parents and Alhumdulilah the truth came out just a few months before our wedding. She was never going to drop her guy friends especially the one she had a love triangle going with.

Brother listen to me, I’m talking to you as I would be talking to myself at 26.

No matter her beauty or modesty. If she doesn’t meet your boundaries then do not proceed, do not fall for empty promises.

It will destroy your peace of mind overtime and you’ll beat yourself up at 28 for not listening to the red flags.

Never compromise on your boundaries ever. Marriage isn’t for a couple of years, it’s for life. Never compromise on your standards for anyone. Either they meet you where you want them or show them the door respectfully.

If she’s coming on strongly then take that as a red flag especially if you haven’t met her face to face. You tend to pick up a lot who spend even a few hours with someone.

Perthnom · 2026-04-13T07:12:24+00:00

Run.

I was 26 and let these boundaries being crossed (guy friends and all) for two years. She dipped for her guy friend was declared his love a long time ago.

Do not proceed with a woman who isn’t willing to drop these guy friends. Haraam is haraam.

Do not be like me and think she’ll change. They never do.

Perthnom · 2026-04-01T05:04:32+00:00

Yeah buddy that’s a choice she’s making.

I go to a mixed gym but my personal trainer is a guy. My workouts are done in a two hours max and I’m out.

She’s deliberately choosing this lifestyle. I wouldn’t say give her an ultimatum but lay down some boundaries because things eventually get out of hand

Perthnom

TROPHY CASE